Rules for 14 year old babysitting

amother

Sat, Oct 17 2020, 6:40 pm

My 14 yo started babysitting a few months ago and she loves it. But sh she's very independent and strong willed, and she throws a fit every time I veto a job. For example, a new customer, someone I don't know but lives nearby, called to asked if she could babysit until 1 am. I told her she can't take the job, and she was furious.

How do I handle this? I don't think she would have even asked my permission, had I not been sitting right there. She doesn't seem to grasp the concept that she needs my approval before she runs off to random people's houses whenever she feels like it. She doesn't have a phone either, so would only be able to contact me from the house she's babysitting at.

She loves making her own money and is mad when she thinks I'm preventing her from doing that.

How do you handle babysitting at this age? Do you vet the jobs beforehand, and if so, how? In general what boundaries do you set for babysitting? Supposedly "all her friends" babysit till who knows when, "till 2 in the morning". Again, this is a 14 yo...

forever21

Sat, Oct 17 2020, 6:50 pm

Honestly I don’t think it matters what “all her friends” do . You have to do what you are comfortable with . If you don’t want her babysitting until 1 am then you tell her she can’t take the job . If she sees you are not confident about your decision she will fight with you on your decision . If you aren’t confident then fake it.
I’m guessing this isn’t the only area she fights you on . Perhaps you’ve said no to her often in the past and then eventually gave in and IMO that’s a mistake . Perhaps she knows if she tantrums often enough she will get her way .

amother

Orchid

Sat, Oct 17 2020, 6:53 pm

In my opinion, 14 years old is way too young to be babysitting at strangers houses. It's scary to send such a young girl to people you don't know.
My rules would be;
You must know the family.
She must be home by 11.
They need to bring her home.
No internet/devices left around that she can access.
Obviously no older boys in the house.
I'd get a kosher phone to send along with her. I think it's basic safety nowdays.
If she doesn't ask you permission and this is her attitude when you tell her rules or no, she's too young and immature to babysit at all.

amother

Babypink

Sat, Oct 17 2020, 7:41 pm

You can make a rule about only families that you know or approve but I think giving a curfew will limit her opportunities. And when people
Will find other sitters who can stay late, when they need an early job they will go to the same
Sitter who they used for a late job.

amother

Burgundy

Sat, Oct 17 2020, 8:11 pm

My 14 yr old also likes to babysit.
She knows I don't let past 11pm ! And I don't let her commit for her job more than a day before.
I don't want her to say yes and then we'll be stuck if we need her at home or we want to go somewhere together.
I usually try to find out about who she goes to before the job.
You need to tell her that she has to feel 100% comfortable and if she's not, she can call you.
If she takes a job without permission ,no more babysitting.... Sad

amother

Tan

Sat, Oct 17 2020, 9:48 pm

amother [ Orchid ] wrote:

This sounds reasonable to me.

DREAMING

Sat, Oct 17 2020, 9:53 pm

amother [ Orchid ] wrote:

My daughter is still to young to babysit but these would be my rules.

Most teens that babysit FOR me need to be home by 11 (with some exceptions)

amother

Copper

Sun, Oct 18 2020, 4:44 am

Most teens I know will only babysit until around 11, especially if it's a school night. When I've been the one needing the babysitter, well, it's too bad. If it's a wedding, one spouse has to go home early, it's too bad.
I would be careful about accepting lifts from the people she's babysitting at. I would also say where possible she should go with a friend, from a safety point of view.

FranticFrummie

Sun, Oct 18 2020, 5:00 am

She needs a kosher phone, and I would never send DD to anyone who I haven't met beforehand. You should go over and make friends with the family. Who knows, you might really get to like them!

She needs to sit by them during the day for a few times, for just a couple of hours at a time. Then ask her if she feels comfortable working such a long shift late into the night. Some kids are a lot harder at bed time than others, and some wake up being scared or needy.

keym

Sun, Oct 18 2020, 5:15 am

My rules are
1) home by 11 on school nights
2) only people I know or have met
3) home by 12 on no school nights
4) I need to know who will be home in their house- no boys over 10 (that's mostly because of my daughter being able to maintain control)
5) no internet devices
6) must have a phone. I kept my "phone conference" plain flip phone for her to bring
7) she calls me once mid-sit to touch base
8) she needs to attempt to do her homework there if it's calm

Chayalle

Sun, Oct 18 2020, 5:28 am

I never allowed my girls to babysit past around 10, maybe 10:30 at the latest.... and people who tended to be late, we just cut down that time so they'd be home when we wanted them.

DH and I like our chicks in the roost when we go to bed, and we are earlyish...around 11. So this works for us.

I also insist on the family having a landline. In Lakewood, girls aren't allowed their own phone till 12th grade by school rule. And I don't want her using someone's smartphone.

And of course, only people I know or have close references (like my next-door neighbor, who I know for years, sister or SIL...)