October Birthday | Imamother

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

October Birthday

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amother

Mon, Oct 19 2020, 9:08 pm

Is it common in lakewood to “leave behind” an October kid, aka repeat 3s and have them be oldest of the class?
I know that everyone says you have to know your kid but I was wondering if it’s a common occurrence to have an October kid repeat the year?

amother

Green

Mon, Oct 19 2020, 9:45 pm

Yes. It is very common. I held back my October son and am very happy I did.

amother

White

Mon, Oct 19 2020, 9:51 pm

I'm not in Lakewood, but I have 2 born in October who started the next year. I have never regretted the choice. (A boy and a girl, btw)

Adela

Mon, Oct 19 2020, 9:57 pm

I opened this thread cause I thought you want to celebrate my October Birthday! 😾
But anyways, I am from the younger ones in my grade...

amother

Aubergine

Mon, Oct 19 2020, 10:36 pm

I kept my son back for 3 yo instead of pushing him to kindergarten. So happy I made this decision

amother

Azure

Mon, Oct 19 2020, 11:08 pm

I'm not in lkwd, but my son is an October bday. I actually pushed him ahead. I was very clear that if the teachers in nursery (3 yr olds) thought we should leave him back I was open to it. Bh my son is doing amazing and I couldn't be happier with my decision. Hes a very bright kid and it wouldn't have worked for him to be in a playgroup in someone's house for another year.
Every kid is different and only you know your child.

sweet

Mon, Oct 19 2020, 11:18 pm

I have 2 kids born in November, and I put them up in the right grade for them.
My son is one of the younger ones but doing just fine bh.

amother

Natural

Mon, Oct 19 2020, 11:33 pm

I have a mid September child who is the youngest kid in her class.
I did purposefully good back a late December child.
I don't think this trend of of holding back earlier and earlier is particularly good. It used to be that the age distance between the oldest and youngest in a class was about 13 months. Now it can easily be 15+ months. I don't see how that is helpful.

amother

Tue, Oct 20 2020, 7:05 pm

Adela wrote:

I opened this thread cause I thought you want to celebrate my October Birthday! 😾
But anyways, I am from the younger ones in my grade...

Haha sorry!! You can celebrate with my child!

amother

Tue, Oct 20 2020, 7:08 pm

[quote="amother [ White ]"]I'm not in Lakewood, but I have 2 born in October who started the next year. I have never regretted the choice. (A boy and a girl, btw

Any particular reason you made this decision? Or it was just age wise

amother

Mistyrose

Tue, Oct 20 2020, 7:08 pm

We live in Lakewood now, but not when my end of October son started school. Regardless I left him back after his first year of preschool, because he was not ready to move on. I’ve never had a moment’s regret for leaving him back.

amother

Tue, Oct 20 2020, 7:13 pm

Also, I’m curious is it more common in lakewood?

amother

Floralwhite

Tue, Oct 20 2020, 7:14 pm

Not in lakewood, but If a parent is not sure, my school actually promotes leaving a kid back so they will be the oldest. One of their points was that when they are in the older grades the learning can be much harder for them if they are the youngest in the class. And that being the oldest is good for their self esteem because they’ll be able to do everything much easier.

mdogzz

Tue, Oct 20 2020, 7:29 pm

I am an early October baby and was held back in preschool because of my birthdate and the fact that my mother didn't want me to be in the same grade as my older sister.

mha3484

Tue, Oct 20 2020, 7:54 pm

My boys are all with in weeks of the cut off. In our large out of town yeshiva school in pre1a is 6 days a week and by they end the year they are reading in Hebrew and English. I personally feel like that’s a lot for a kid that starts the year 4 and turns 5 later in the fall. I wish they would start Sunday in 1st grade or require the boys to be 5 like in public school. Until that happens then I’m not making my boys the class baby.

amother

Vermilion

Tue, Oct 20 2020, 8:02 pm

Adela wrote:

I opened this thread cause I thought you want to celebrate my October Birthday! 😾
But anyways, I am from the younger ones in my grade...

Me too! I liked being from the younger ones.

I have a December kid and still haven’t decided if I should keep her back (Brooklyn)

amother

Emerald

Tue, Oct 20 2020, 8:57 pm

I sent both my October’s ahead and am very happy I did. One is very bright and self driven and would have been bored being held back. She’s actually bored now, and she’s on the younger end.

The other is very bright and has adhd. If she’s bored she checks out and so she needs the challenge.

If we didn’t live in Lakewood and the deadline was oct I might have chosen differently. But my kids both have nov and even dec kids in their class. Leaving them back would have meant they’d be The oldest. Like this they aren’t the youngest, there’s plenty of kids with bdays after theirs. And since their school makes classes according to bday they’re actually somewhere in the middle.

Chaya123

Wed, Oct 21 2020, 12:51 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I repeated my Oct child as that's what was needed. If not needed, don't think would do it.

amother

Wine

Wed, Oct 21 2020, 1:03 pm

I repeated my Oct kid.
He would have been ok going ahead. Probably.
But with the trend of leaving behind, he would be 14 months younger than the oldest kid in his class. And everything is skewing older- expectations from Rebbeim, principals, etc.
A girl I would probably leave as is.
Primary girls still have much more playtime, tables, circle time, and less expectations- they get their siddur at graduation.
Primary boys have a Rebbi, a desk, school on Sunday, graduation with a Chumash.
I have an older child, September, that I left as is because then, no one repeated September's unless there was a real reason.
He's doing ok. Now. But he is one of the youngest, and he struggled socially and with expectations of maturity in 2nd-5th grade. But I couldn't repeat him then. In 6th grade he hit his stride, and now BH is doing great.
Another point to consider is if you have a school (older siblings) what they say.
And if you don't have a school already, then an October and November, even September is more challenging to get in sometimes.

chocolatecake

Wed, Oct 21 2020, 1:13 pm

My daughter is October 23rd. We moved after she finished nursery. I asked her nursery Morah and the school that she was switching to where I should put her and without hesitating they both said she belongs in kindergarten. She happens to struggle academically but I don't think that would make a difference if she was held back or not. She is just fine socially and she is one of the taller kids in the class.

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