Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers
S/0 Would you leave for 15 minutes?



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 10:20 am
I didnt want to take away from the other thread so Im starteding my own. I once went through a rough patch. I was home all day with 3! Once the kids went to sleep. I wanted to take a half hour walk around my block. At that point my babies 12 months old slept through the night, couldnt climb out of crib. Part of the problem, my dh came home after midnight. I couldn't afford babysitting and had no one to watch the kids. I put in a full day, I needed the walk, my babies were early risers. The streets were quiet I could here the baby monitor, every noise echoed. What is that any different than when I go to sleep at night. I am usually zoncked. If a baby cried softly I wouldn't here him. If there was a robber I would probably sleep through that too. I once went to the bathroom. Which something on the stove. My smoke alarm didn't alert me till the house was fill with smoke. B"h it was nothing. Between ny allergies and corona. I can't always rely on my sense of smell. Before I left the house I alway checked that my toaster is plugged out and my stove and oven knobs are shut, not eliminating gas. I do this at night before bed too. The one time the monitore stopped working because of the battery, I immediately went home took 3 minutes.

Please tell me did is going to sleep at night any different are you all light sleepers and get up to your kids every noise? How is it different?
Back to top

Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 10:35 am
Going to sleep at night is the normal human nature to do. You do your utmost hishtadlus to make sure everyone is safe and if something chas v'shalom happened, you don't have the guilt that you weren't around. Leaving kids unattended is negligent behavior of a parent and if chas v'shalom something happens, aside from the serious legal trouble you'd be in, you'll have the intense guilt to live with the rest of your life. It is the parents responsibility to keep the kids safe at all times. Leaving kids unattended at home is not safe. If the only way for you to handle your kids is by leaving babies unattended, maybe you need to take a break.
If your smoke alarm didn't go off till the house is filled with smoke, you need better alarms.
I wake up from every tiny noise. I say that part of parents responsibility is that the intuition doesn't go to sleep.... you go to sleep with the sense of responsibility that you need to wake up right away if something happens.


Last edited by Blessing1 on Tue, Oct 20 2020, 10:37 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top

amother
Blonde


 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 10:35 am
It’s different.
Don’t do it, Just because incase something goes wrong you’ll never forgive yourself.
Nobody feels bad for going to the bathroom even if a kid slammed the door on his finger while that took place.
But if a kid woke up and looked for Mommy and accidentally slammed a door on his finger
And it took Mommy a full three minutes to get there to open the door because she was out with a monitor....
Maybe invest in a treadmill?
Or if they’re early risers you can walk in the early morning with them?
Back to top

amother
Ivory


 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 11:15 am
So your smoke alarm went off when the house was already filled with smoke. You were right there in case it was a true emergency. Now imagine the smoke alarm goes off and it's NOT nothing. You're 10 minutes away. What do you do?
Back to top

Moonlight




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 4:44 pm
Did the other thread get locked?
Back to top

amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 4:58 pm
The difference is that you’re right there in the house as opposed to I’m assuming at least 5 min away...
Back to top

tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 5:10 pm
I think even most heavy sleepers would wake up in an emergency situation. I think our bodies can recognize danger more than we realize.
I think your situation sounded really hard and challenging but that doesn’t make it safe or ok to leave your baby home alone. I would sooner ask a community rabbi for money for babysitting help than do that.
I agree that there are always risks and no parent can totally guarantee the safety of their child but we need to try our best within reason
Back to top

imasoftov




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 5:21 pm
Moonlight wrote:
Did the other thread get locked?

Vanished, I think.
Back to top

watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 6:03 pm
If you cant hear danger when you ARE home and sleeping, that should already scare you sufficiently enough to make you realize something is wrong and needs to change. You need a better smoke alarm and more of them. Leaving them alone is even worse. You aren't there!!
Back to top

yksraya




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 6:13 pm
You were in a desperate situation and didn't think straight. What should've been done is, ask a teenage neighbor or any teen in your community who's willing to help, to sit with your sleeping kids for the 15 minutes you take your walk.
Back to top

amother
Chartreuse


 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 7:07 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I didnt want to take away from the other thread so Im starteding my own. I once went through a rough patch. I was home all day with 3! Once the kids went to sleep. I wanted to take a half hour walk around my block. At that point my babies 12 months old slept through the night, couldnt climb out of crib. Part of the problem, my dh came home after midnight. I couldn't afford babysitting and had no one to watch the kids. I put in a full day, I needed the walk, my babies were early risers. The streets were quiet I could here the baby monitor, every noise echoed. What is that any different than when I go to sleep at night. I am usually zoncked. If a baby cried softly I wouldn't here him. If there was a robber I would probably sleep through that too. I once went to the bathroom. Which something on the stove. My smoke alarm didn't alert me till the house was fill with smoke. B"h it was nothing. Between ny allergies and corona. I can't always rely on my sense of smell. Before I left the house I alway checked that my toaster is plugged out and my stove and oven knobs are shut, not eliminating gas. I do this at night before bed too. The one time the monitore stopped working because of the battery, I immediately went home took 3 minutes.

Please tell me did is going to sleep at night any different are you all light sleepers and get up to your kids every noise? How is it different?


It’s against the law and if you’re caught your kids could be taken away. Is it worth it?
Back to top

amother
Natural


 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 7:14 pm
I wouldn’t
It’s very very hard though

I just started leaving my 9 year old to watch my sleeping 6 year old and 3 year old WITH A PHONE AND FOR A SHORT TIME and I am close by
Back to top

agreer




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 20 2020, 7:26 pm
Do you really not see the difference?

You "need" the walk?!?! Walk during the day. Or walk up and down your halls/around the dining room table with your windows open. Put on an exercise video. But absolutely do not leave your kids at night with a monitor.

I cannot believe how many people think this is okay.
Back to top

amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 1:09 am
amother [ Natural ] wrote:
I wouldn’t
It’s very very hard though

I just started leaving my 9 year old to watch my sleeping 6 year old and 3 year old WITH A PHONE AND FOR A SHORT TIME and I am close by

That’s crazy too. 9 year old babysitting 2 younger kids.
Back to top

amother
Natural


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 9:03 am
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
That’s crazy too. 9 year old babysitting 2 younger kids.


Why ? They are sleeping
And it’s for short time ! ( 10 min )
I don’t see anything wrong with that
Back to top

amother
Powderblue


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 10:09 am
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
That’s crazy too. 9 year old babysitting 2 younger kids.


I wouldn't do it at night. But during the day for no more than 10-15 minutes & no babies is not the end of the world.
Back to top

amother
Natural


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 10:19 am
amother [ Powderblue ] wrote:
I wouldn't do it at night. But during the day for no more than 10-15 minutes & no babies is not the end of the world.


Na I would never do it during the day when they are up!
How can a 9 year old watch and take care of 2 kids? At night when they are sleeping at 7 and he is reading on the couch he is not technically taking care of them
So I would sometimes run to the neighbor or drop something off on the next block

Anyway everyone is different and do what they think best!!
Back to top

amother
Lavender


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 10:55 am
My husband sleeps during the day.

For my children’s nap time- while he is home and asleep
I don’t even leave them “alone” in the house.
There needs to always be an alert adult present (that means, an adult who is under the same roof and is aware children are there asleep and could need them). Anything beyond that is complete negligence. And actually you’re not even fulfilling your halachic obligation to your children, it’s a complete sakanah.

I hope this answers your Q and helps you make some needed changes.
Back to top

keym




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 1:10 pm
amother [ Lavender ] wrote:
My husband sleeps during the day.

For my children’s nap time- while he is home and asleep
I don’t even leave them “alone” in the house.
There needs to always be an alert adult present (that means, an adult who is under the same roof and is aware children are there asleep and could need them). Anything beyond that is complete negligence. And actually you’re not even fulfilling your halachic obligation to your children, it’s a complete sakanah.

I hope this answers your Q and helps you make some needed changes.


So either you or your husband are up all night?
Back to top

amother
Lavender


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 5:53 pm
keym wrote:
So either you or your husband are up all night?


Missed the point entirely.
But if you want to help justify the OP, go ahead.

No one is up all night. But is asleep and aware there are children asleep.
There is a difference being asleep and not responsible for a child verses asleep and responsible/ aware of a child.

Anyways.. being asleep is very different than leaving the house with a baby monitor.
But thank you for the useless sarcastic remark of a response.
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

Related Topics Replies Last Post
How to go about getting paid on maternity leave
by amother
20 Tue, Mar 26 2024, 11:29 pm View last post
Can I leave her home alone?
by amother
26 Thu, Mar 21 2024, 11:24 am View last post
Would you leave back
by amother
8 Tue, Mar 19 2024, 10:18 pm View last post
I've moved back the kitchen clock with seven minutes
by amother
5 Mon, Mar 04 2024, 8:42 pm View last post
What age to leave kids alone?
by amother
28 Tue, Feb 27 2024, 5:45 pm View last post