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How much do you give tzedakah collectors?



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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 7:04 am
How much money do you give the tzedakah collectors who knock at your door? Dh thinks I’m too generous
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 7:06 am
Between $1 & $5.
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notshanarishona




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 7:19 am
$1 to random people, more if I know the cause
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amother
Lemon


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 7:22 am
$5 for people who come to the door with a letter to verify that they are legit. My husband gives $1 (or whatever change is in his pocket) to those who approach him in shul.
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 7:23 am
$2. So many come.
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amother
Lime


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 7:30 am
I don't answer the door to ppl I don't know even if it's the police, so you can be sure I'm not opening the door to someone claiming to be collecting for tzedakah, but if by mistake I do open, I give a dollar to be yotzei. My "real" tzedakah is checks sent in the mail.
One time a guy complained that it wasn't enough, so I said "In that case it's nothing" and grabbed it back and slammed the door. Chutzpah doesn't work well with me. Does it really work with some people?
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 7:34 am
amother [ Lime ] wrote:
I don't answer the door to ppl I don't know even if it's the police, so you can be sure I'm not opening the door to someone claiming to be collecting for tzedakah, but if by mistake I do open, I give a dollar to be yotzei. My "real" tzedakah is checks sent in the mail.
One time a guy complained that it wasn't enough, so I said "In that case it's nothing" and grabbed it back and slammed the door. Chutzpah doesn't work well with me. Does it really work with some people?


The way you responded to the collector is so so rude. No one goes collecting for the fun of it or because they have nothing better to do. It's often a last resort. They're in pain and suffering. They have feelings too. The least you can do is be nice. You don't want to be the cause of more heartache or the straw that broke the camel's back. They feel mortified enough to go from door to door all day, it doesn't hurt to be nice and being rude doesn't get you further in life.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 7:53 am
DH once told me that the Brisker Rav said that a true Ani is one who comes with humility. The guys who come to the door and try to tell you that you aren't giving enough are not the ones whom we would choose to give our serious tzedakah $$ to.

The advice we were given was to choose organizations to support. Those who come to the door we give small amounts to (usually $1 to $2, maybe a bit more sometimes if we feel the person really seems to be the true Ani definition, but not bigger amounts. Using strong or manipulative language does not convince us that the guy's needs are really greater than the simple, humble meshulach.)

I moved to a new (for me) home a few years ago. It used to be the summer home of a wealthy individual. We've had a few people come here who feel that we are obligated to match the previous owner's standard. One guy recently was really rude, and he used a few unprintable words for good measure to let me know his feelings about the amount of my donation. I gave him a piece of advice - I told him that that kind of language will not likely get him very far in this neighborhood. I then quietly closed the door.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 7:55 am
Nothing. I give to tzedaka organizations or to places where I want my tzedaka to go.
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 8:06 am
B"H we don't live in a frum area, so they don't come around.
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amother
Lime


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 8:53 am
amother [ Slategray ] wrote:
The way you responded to the collector is so so rude. No one goes collecting for the fun of it or because they have nothing better to do. It's often a last resort. They're in pain and suffering. They have feelings too. The least you can do is be nice. You don't want to be the cause of more heartache or the straw that broke the camel's back. They feel mortified enough to go from door to door all day, it doesn't hurt to be nice and being rude doesn't get you further in life.


And telling me I didn't give enough is not rude? This guy didn't sound mortified--he sounded entitled. The man knew nothing about me or my circumstances. That dollar could have been the last one in my wallet for all he knew. And trust me, some of these schnorrers make a nicer living than I do. Not all, of course. Not even most. But some. Bad apples will always spoil it for everyone else. And I hope that this guy learned that being rude doesn't get you further in life.
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 8:57 am
amother [ Lime ] wrote:
And telling me I didn't give enough is not rude? This guy didn't sound mortified--he sounded entitled. The man knew nothing about me or my circumstances. That dollar could have been the last one in my wallet for all he knew. And trust me, some of these schnorrers make a nicer living than I do. Not all, of course. Not even most. But some. Bad apples will always spoil it for everyone else. And I hope that this guy learned that being rude doesn't get you further in life.


Just because he was rude to you, doesn't make it right for you to be rude to him. It's not so hard to be the better person. It's not easy to go collecting from door to door, in the rain, heat, and cold, they're not doing it for fun. The least you can do is be nice.
"He was rude to me so I'll be rude to him" is a pretty childish reaction for an adult to have. This is no excuse to humiliate another person.
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amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 9:19 am
I give a lot. $25-$50- depending upon the situation (sometimes even more). I feel terrible for these people - both for their difficult matzav and for having to go door-to-door, so I try to give what I can. Lately, though, collectors have become more pushy - pushing for more and more (even asking could you pay my electric bill of $1,000? or for my airline ticket home? etc.) and not willing to accept when I explain that we are not rich. (DH is in kollel, and I work f/t to support us.) Some people have been coming around every month or two, and after I give generously, say “oh, there is someone else in the car, can you give for them too?”

At this point, I am starting to feel taken advantage of and am now reluctant to open the door. I am sincerely grateful to Hashem that I am not in these people’s positions and I do want to give whatever I can to help alleviate others’ misfortune, but I’m getting a feeling that I’m being played . . . Not sure what to do . . .
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amother
Lime


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 12:15 pm
amother [ Slategray ] wrote:
Just because he was rude to you, doesn't make it right for you to be rude to him. It's not so hard to be the better person. It's not easy to go collecting from door to door, in the rain, heat, and cold, they're not doing it for fun. The least you can do is be nice.
"He was rude to me so I'll be rude to him" is a pretty childish reaction for an adult to have. This is no excuse to humiliate another person.


We'll have to agree to disagree. Telling me I'm not giving enough is childish, rude and embarrassing to me, too. And telling me off on a public forum is also humiliating to me.
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amother
Gold


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 12:33 pm
if we know cause (yeshiva we know) we would write a nice check payable to that yeshiva.

then we have a guy, son in law of a rabbi ina town shul, who calls us, he collected for same yeshiva we support, and want a large check mailed to him, so he gets %... I think its rachmanus on him that thats his parnassa, feeling like saying we will write you a check for your commission, and write directly to yeshiva what we generuosly give

dont appreciate lots of mail of places we dont know and we really focus on places we know and appreciate, and also family members who need tzedaka we send nice checks to (to their food, doctors etc). Not everyone has easy life..

Focus on the Mitzva, help ppl you know. almanos, single mothers...

There is an organziation that is excellent on asking, but when I approached him to help single mothers (which he solicited big $ from our family) he would give all kinds of stories, but not a dollar. I lost respect, and really would want to ask him once... he needs to explain

He lectures around why ppl should support his tzedakos, sends lots of mailings, didnt give a $ to a cancer mom or to a single mom with handicapped children..

he said "are not there any Gvirim in xyz neighborhood".

Oy

Now I will give the needy directly, not his organizations

Nki Kapayim?

Really feel like speaking with him and wife...
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 12:47 pm
A few dollars. I used to give checks when I was newly married but stopped when I realized that more and more people used to come because my address was on the check. Nowadays I try to keep some loose cash in my wallet and give around 5 or so. If it’s before a holiday then maybe a little bit more (like Elul or Purim, if I happen to have more cash on hand).
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faigie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 21 2020, 12:56 pm
Long story short, I no longer open the door....To the woman who feels like she is being played, you might be. There are collectors who know the “rounds” and go together in a car. To the woman who thinks that people who are collecting are feeling humiliated, it’s not always so. There are people who do this as a living.
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