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Should a teacher meddle in student's private life?
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nchr




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 12:10 pm
It's totally inappropriate for a teacher to cross that boundary and "counsel" a student or befriend them. Any teacher who does this should be fired. If a teacher thinks something is wrong, she should pass the info to the appropriate party but anything more than that is just crossing the line.
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thunderstorm




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 12:15 pm
nchr wrote:
It's totally inappropriate for a teacher to cross that boundary and "counsel" a student or befriend them. Any teacher who does this should be fired. If a teacher thinks something is wrong, she should pass the info to the appropriate party but anything more than that is just crossing the line.

In Bais Yaakov Highschool, every class had a “mechaneches”. It was one teacher designated to each class to be there for any student that needed guidance in anything , be it in school or personal.
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amother




Slateblue
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 12:28 pm
amother [ Rose ] wrote:
Thanks for the feedback. Right now I can't do more than that. I have her over a lot. I play with her, try to help her with social skills so she can have friends, encourage her and love her. That's all I can do. Financially I can not help and they seem to have money. She once told me that her mother wants to kill her father so I have good reason to probe.


How old is she? because my 5 year old once told my neighbor that his mother wants to decapitate someone. He misheard me and thought it was a funny thing to repeat. (I think I was talking about a knob celery actually)
My mother constantly says "ooooooh I'M so gonna kill her for ruining my cheese by leaving it on the counter" or whatever
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 12:36 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
In Bais Yaakov Highschool, every class had a “mechaneches”. It was one teacher designated to each class to be there for any student that needed guidance in anything , be it in school or personal.


Proactively or on demand -I.e. did students approach her with questions - or did she also approach students to give thema talking to?
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amother




Chartreuse
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 12:41 pm
In a hashkafically mixed school, it is not appropriate for a teacher to meddle to try to shift a student to the right hashkafically or, for hashkafic reasons, to persuade the student to stop activities which the parents permit.

Obviously, if such activities include dangerous things like drugs or drunk driving, it is a different story. But the teacher should not be butting into whether the girl (for example) takes a martial arts class.
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amother




Gray
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 12:48 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
In Bais Yaakov Highschool, every class had a “mechaneches”. It was one teacher designated to each class to be there for any student that needed guidance in anything , be it in school or personal.


What grade were you in though? I think there is a difference between 11/12 grade and 8th...
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singleagain




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 12:49 pm
For mental health just like physical health teachers (or parents or counselors or really anyone in contact with youth) should be encouraged to take a first aid course like this one that I took

https://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/


It's important because it teaches you how to talk to youth at risk and the various kinds of risk and how to recognize these issues
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thunderstorm




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 12:51 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Proactively or on demand -I.e. did students approach her with questions - or did she also approach students to give thema talking to?

Both. It was usually her addressing the student.
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thunderstorm




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 12:52 pm
amother [ Gray ] wrote:
What grade were you in though? I think there is a difference between 11/12 grade and 8th...

9th through 12th grade
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amother




Gray
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 12:57 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
9th through 12th grade


You had a 9th grade teacher ask you personal questions about your life? I went to BY as well. The mechaneches organized the Chanuka party.... maybe one or two similar jobs. She was your contact person if you had any issues in school. And there were some that pulled out each student privately once a year to ask “how’s it going”. No meddling as far as I know.
In older grades there were some teachers who girls approached to discuss private things with. But not specifically their mechaneches. And usually the girl did the approaching not the other way around.
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SixOfWands




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Oct 22 2020, 1:17 pm
amother [ Rose ] wrote:
Thanks for the feedback. Right now I can't do more than that. I have her over a lot. I play with her, try to help her with social skills so she can have friends, encourage her and love her. That's all I can do. Financially I can not help and they seem to have money. She once told me that her mother wants to kill her father so I have good reason to probe.


If you genuinely think that her mother is plotting to murder her father, call the police.

But chances are its a turn of phrase her mother uses. "If he comes home late one more time, I'm going to kill him." "That's the 3rd time this week he missed the toilet, and also didn't put his dishes in the sink. Does he think I'm his maid? Argh, I could kill him."
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