Smoking in Yeshivas

amother

Thu, Oct 22 2020, 8:49 pm

My son is an 8th grader and looking into high school and just became aware that smoking is an issue in some places and I'm truly shocked. I grew up with only sisters and major awareness about how terrible smoking is. Does anyone know how I can research to find out which Yeshivas in tri-state area don't have this problem?

ImmaBubby

Thu, Oct 22 2020, 8:56 pm

It’s always important to speak to parents of CURRENT bochurim about everything. Make sure that the reality is what their brochure advertises.

amother

Brunette

Thu, Oct 22 2020, 10:04 pm

Unfortunately, in my country it has become a major popular thing for teens to smoke . It does suck . Some boys are addicted and pull other boys to do it. My son does it , I prompted him many times about the danger and cons , I cant do more than I could. He has to decide on his own how crazy that is. I'm mad upset about it, but yes here all yashiva's will have a certain amount of boys doing it. lucky for the ones that dont have this issue with kids.

amother

Blue

Fri, Oct 23 2020, 12:38 am

It's an issue all over the world . I live in London. My son attends a chasidishe yeshive and a lot of boys smoke . Regular cigarettes, electric cigarettes...
He bh is totally uninterested. (For now ... long may it last)

amother

Dodgerblue

Fri, Oct 23 2020, 12:45 am

This has always shocked me. Yeshivas boast about their superior chinuch, and then they have such high percentages of smokers??? What kind of chinuch is that?

They have many MANY more smokers than in my kids' secular schools in Israel. And smoking is extremely bad chinuch and extremely dangerous.

amother

Saddlebrown

Fri, Oct 23 2020, 1:09 am

amother [ Dodgerblue ] wrote:

Call customer service and voice your opinion

amother

Dodgerblue

Fri, Oct 23 2020, 1:15 am

amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:

Call customer service and voice your opinion

Just saying that it's ironic. Venishmartem is a pretty big mitzva. If you are so visibly transgressing that, then what kind of chinuch are you offering?

amother

Black

Fri, Oct 23 2020, 1:56 am

If your son has a good group of friends he's going with, he should be fine. It won't penetrate into his circle of friends. That's been our experience.

amother

Pumpkin

Fri, Oct 23 2020, 8:10 am

I also worry about drinking. I have a harder time explaining to my boys about the dangers - especially since he just learned from his rebbe that he is supposed to have a riveyus of wine on Yom Tov.
Smoking/vaping/drugs - black and white - never
Wine -sometimes in moderation

amother

Smokey

Fri, Oct 23 2020, 8:30 am

It boils down to education.
Most chasidish and yeshivish boys do not learn about biology in yeshiva like the girls do.
We learned about the dangers of smoking in 6th grade and in 11th grade.
Additionally, yeshivos throw out boys for every stupid infractions, but although they usually have a no smoking policy, they turn a blind eye.

amother

Oak

Fri, Oct 23 2020, 8:36 am

amother [ Smokey ] wrote:

Someone from a yeshiva told my husband the reason they aren’t strict with smoking is because they found that in yeshivas that are strict the boys went instead to technology. They rather the boys smoke then get hidden smart phones..
Don’t know if this is true but this is what I was told.

amother

Burgundy

Fri, Oct 23 2020, 8:39 am

amother [ Pumpkin ] wrote:

Interestingly, the secular boarding school I attended for high school permitted us Jewish students to have a bottle of wine for kiddush at our Friday night services, even though often no adults were present and all of the students, at age 14-18, were well under the drinking age of 21. We never abused it, everyone just had one small serving.

amother

Black

Fri, Oct 23 2020, 8:47 am

amother [ Oak ] wrote:

That's just odd.
Why can't they say no to more than one thing?

amother

Brunette

Fri, Oct 23 2020, 9:32 am

amother [ Black ] wrote:

If your son has a good group of friends he's going with, he should be fine. It won't penetrate into his circle of friends. That's been our experience.

So I'm just going to add that my son is a great boy in yashiva, learns , and is serious. He has very settled mentchlich freinds. Smoking does not have to do with good or bad boys. It becomes an addiction. My ds was very against it , until he tried one or two times and got hooked up with it. Yet he promised me he will slowly stop. Just saying good boy, good yashiva, normal friends. The problem is that the yashiva's are being too lenient with it so the boys have more open doors doing it. In any way I'm wondering if in the less chassidish places it's less of a problem? And if the answer is yes , then I wonder what else the boys do insead . Their will always be boys that are seeking to do teen kind of behavior or stuff.

malki2

Fri, Oct 23 2020, 9:37 am

amother [ Black ] wrote:

That's just odd.
Why can't they say no to more than one thing?

It’s actually not so odd. The boys are under pressure and human nature is to need a vice. So they feel that the least harmful vice is smoking.

That being said, there are definitely some places, even in Lakewood, where smoking is forbidden by the hanhala. Do your homework and find out which places they are.

amother

Sienna

Fri, Oct 23 2020, 9:39 am

In the yeshivish world ( at least the one I am familiar with) smoking is not such a terrible thing. According to my brothers, brothers in law and husband, almost all boys in right wing yeshivas try smoking at one point.

I think it has to do with having an outlet. In very yeshivish places there are no outlets for boys. The focus is learning, learning and more learning. What on earth can they do for fun or to relax? Learn!

More open minded places have boys who have interest and hobbies such as sports or music...

amother

Royalblue

Fri, Oct 23 2020, 9:47 am

malki2 wrote:

Smoking kills people.
Sports... kills people? 🤷🏼‍♀️