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-> Interesting Discussions
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amother
OP
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 Sat, Oct 24 2020, 9:04 pm
I was listening to a Rav who I respect speaking about people finding other people and thing to blame instead of themselves.
I agree with him 100% and if you strongly disagree please don't post on this thread.
Even so I was thinking that that don't some people really have excuses for their failures? Aren't there people who really face challenges that are too difficult for them to overcome?
What is the line between an excuse and it was really not my fault?
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leah233
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Sat, Oct 24 2020, 9:11 pm
It is difficult to answer because there are so many factors involved but the general difference would be the initial motivation and after the fact reaction to the situation.
Motivation: Was the person looking to do the right thing and disappointed that a difficulty arose or were they looking to get out of the extra difficulty and effort and happy the excuse presented itself?
Reaction: Afterward did they think about how to avoid or work around the issue in the future ?
Even if their blame was limited did they recognize fault and take responsibility for their actions or did they try to justify and blame with the intent to absolve themselves of responsibility?
Cop out excuses are never followed by positive, goal-directed or solution-oriented behavior. Legitimate reasons for failure are.
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zaq
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Sat, Oct 24 2020, 9:17 pm
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IME the copouts are the ones saying "it's not my fault." The legitimate people don't use this expression. If they don't blame themselves, which many do, they'll say simply "this happened because..." They explain, they don't blame.
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jerusalem90
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Sun, Oct 25 2020, 4:04 am
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Everyone's going to judge according to their own knowledge and experiences, but only Gd know the whole truth.
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