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STOP PRESSING THE THERAPY BUTTON,PLEASE!!!!!
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amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 3:06 pm
Okay please don't throw tomatoes yet, let me explain.
It seems that for every problem posted on imamother there are so many replies Try Therapy!

Ladies, not everyone needs therapy.Therapy can be extremely costly,many times not effective and some times outright dangerous!

Before you tell me how much therapy saved/changed your life,,let me be clear.I am not saying that there is never a need for therapy.I like to compare it to a drug that can save a life but in other cases have serious adverse effects , it should be used when truly necessary!

Some therapists are experts at opening old wounds and past trauma but not so good at mending it all up again after.
Some will see a patient for months or years without any progress before admitting that they are not the right therapist for this client!
Lets use this when truly necessary!
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amother




Babypink
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 3:09 pm
I hesitate to mention therapy here because everyone makes fun of how overused it is, but I’ve really only seen it recommended in cases where it was really needed or could greatly help. I have yet to see someone say my kid won’t throw his clothes in the hamper, and someone respond go to therapy.

Bad marriage? Depression? Can’t get past childhood wounds which are affecting every day life? Yes, therapy!
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amother




Slategray
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 3:25 pm
OP, you say that "Some therapists are experts at opening old wounds and past trauma but not so good at mending it all up again after." Would you deny that someone who has past trauma should most certainly be in therapy?

"Some will see a patient for months or years without any progress before admitting that they are not the right therapist for this client!" - Does that mean the client shouldn't be in therapy, or that they are simply with the wrong therapist?

Based on your OP, this should be a PSA that not all therapists are good. Imamother is fully aware of that, and then some.

I have rarely, if ever, seen a therapy recommendation that was completely unwarranted. There are some situations in which it may not be indicated, such as in cases when the issue isn't so bad and the cost is prohibitive. But the recommendation isn't so far off.
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LovesHashem




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 3:41 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:


Some therapists are experts at opening old wounds and past trauma but not so good at mending it all up again after.
Some will see a patient for months or years without any progress before admitting that they are not the right therapist for this client!
Lets use this when truly necessary!


Anything has risks okay? I know people who have been to chiropractors that totally ruined their back for life necessitating surgeries later on.

Common sense should be used when seeing ANY type of doctor or therapist - mental or physical. If you feel something is off, not helping, is hurting you, are not making progress LEAVE.

This is like saying "I wasted tons of money seeing a chiropractor or physical therapist for years and didn't see any progress! Chiropractors and physical therapists are overly recommended and there's risks and they can RUIN YOUR LIFE!"

I'm sorry - it's YOUR fault you stayed when there was no progress.

No one suggests others to go to any type of therapy for fun, to waste time, or money.
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amother




Black
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 3:44 pm
What difference does it make if in the case where therapy did harm, it was the wrong therapist? There is no system in place to get people the right therapist. Kind of like if the only way to get antidepressants was from a blind pharmacist, but when things went wrong, people said it was okay because the problem was just the wrong medication.
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amother




Black
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 3:46 pm
Progress isn't always linear, so it is not the patient/client's responsibility to recognize its absence.
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amother




Slategray
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 3:51 pm
amother [ Black ] wrote:
What difference does it make if in the case where therapy did harm, it was the wrong therapist? There is no system in place to get people the right therapist. Kind of like if the only way to get antidepressants was from a blind pharmacist, but when things went wrong, people said it was okay because the problem was just the wrong medication.


So therefore, no one should go to therapy and we should throw out the baby with the bathwater?

I am not blaming the client at all. I myself have been to therapists who hurt more than helped. It took me a long time to recognize it. But instead of giving up on therapy, I searched for something different. B'H I found it.

IMO, the best way to make sure your therapeutic relationship is healthy is to have a mentor to discuss the process with, just like a therapist should have supervision.

And there is no guarantee that a psychiatrist or a particular antidepressant will work, either. Does that mean if one, two, or three don't work, we just give up on the whole thing? No; we keep looking if the problem is persistent.
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amother




Black
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 4:03 pm
Therapy is extremely costly.
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LovesHashem




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 4:04 pm
amother [ Black ] wrote:
What difference does it make if in the case where therapy did harm, it was the wrong therapist? There is no system in place to get people the right therapist. Kind of like if the only way to get antidepressants was from a blind pharmacist, but when things went wrong, people said it was okay because the problem was just the wrong medication.


People get bad doctors who mess them up.
People get physiatrists, social workers, horse riding therapists, or zumba class teachers that don't work for them.

What system do you propose exactly?
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amother




Black
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 4:05 pm
Therapy should only be used if absolutely necessary.
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LovesHashem




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 4:06 pm
amother [ Black ] wrote:
Progress isn't always linear, so it is not the patient/client's responsibility to recognize its absence.


If after even five sessions you don't feel like a therapist understands you, and is giving advice or saying things that are helping you - leave. If you feel like it does nothing that's a sign as well.
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amother




Floralwhite
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 4:07 pm
LovesHashem wrote:
People get bad doctors who mess them up.
People get physiatrists, social workers, horse riding therapists, or zumba class teachers that don't work for them.

What system do you propose exactly?


System? I think people need to start growing thicker skin and not using therapy as a cop out to confront their poor behavior. I'm not referring to legitimate mental health concerns, but this modern "go to therapy because x y z behavior" when sucking it up or facing reality or setting limits could cure it.
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amother




Chartreuse
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 4:07 pm
amother [ Slategray ] wrote:
OP, you say that "Some therapists are experts at opening old wounds and past trauma but not so good at mending it all up again after." Would you deny that someone who has past trauma should most certainly be in therapy?

"Some will see a patient for months or years without any progress before admitting that they are not the right therapist for this client!" - Does that mean the client shouldn't be in therapy, or that they are simply with the wrong therapist?

Based on your OP, this should be a PSA that not all therapists are good. Imamother is fully aware of that, and then some.

I have rarely, if ever, seen a therapy recommendation that was completely unwarranted. There are some situations in which it may not be indicated, such as in cases when the issue isn't so bad and the cost is prohibitive. But the recommendation isn't so far off.


wow what a well written comment!!
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amother




Black
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 4:10 pm
Actually, there is an option that is better for many people: group therapy. While not a direct replacement for one on one, group has its own therapeutic advantages and less potential for abuse.
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amother




Chartreuse
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 4:11 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
System? I think people need to start growing thicker skin and not using therapy as a cop out to confront their poor behavior. I'm not referring to legitimate mental health concerns, but this modern "go to therapy because x y z behavior" when sucking it up or facing reality or setting limits could cure it.


I think you are misinformed about what therapy is.
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amother




Gold
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 4:13 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
System? I think people need to start growing thicker skin and not using therapy as a cop out to confront their poor behavior. I'm not referring to legitimate mental health concerns, but this modern "go to therapy because x y z behavior" when sucking it up or facing reality or setting limits could cure it.


Therapy is about uncovering your layers and finding yourself.
It is not about solving the problems of the people around you.
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amother




Gold
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 4:16 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:

Ladies, not everyone needs therapy.Therapy can be extremely costly,many times not effective and some times outright dangerous!
Lets use this when truly necessary!


Everyone can use therapy, it only makes you know yourself better.

Therapy is very seldom dangerous.
A problematic therapist is usually known as that.

People spend on what they find important.
A good doctor May be expensive too.
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amother




Orchid
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 4:17 pm
amother [ Black ] wrote:
Actually, there is an option that is better for many people: group therapy. While not a direct replacement for one on one, group has its own therapeutic advantages and less potential for abuse.

I would recommend that clients in group therapy see an individual therapist to help them process the triggers that are bound to come up for them.
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Stars




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 4:21 pm
Your premise is all wrong. You should write something like be careful to choose a good therapist.
I haven’t seen therapy recommended where it wasn’t warranted.
Sometimes all you need is a few sessions to figure out one specific thing, or why a certain situation keeps repeating itself.
The second issue is, Trauma needs trauma experts. And that is extremely hard to find.
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LovesHashem




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 4:24 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
System? I think people need to start growing thicker skin and not using therapy as a cop out to confront their poor behavior. I'm not referring to legitimate mental health concerns, but this modern "go to therapy because x y z behavior" when sucking it up or facing reality or setting limits could cure it.


Therapy is meeting with a person who will FORCE you to face it. What do you think we talk about in therapy? What clothing is in this season?

Limits aren't the answer to fix everything. The solution might be not so simple and you can't figure it out - that's where therapy helps you to do so.
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