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STOP PRESSING THE THERAPY BUTTON,PLEASE!!!!!
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batya315




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 4:26 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
System? I think people need to start growing thicker skin and not using therapy as a cop out to confront their poor behavior.

I'm flummoxed.
What better way to confront poor behavior than to go for therapy and actually explore it and figure out how to behave better?
I think you have the wrong idea of what therapy is...
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amother




Black
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 4:26 pm
If I had a doctor who said "I'll either help manage your diabetes, or stab you in the eye", I'd take my chances with a non-doctor.
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amother




Black
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 4:28 pm
Therapists can do damage far beyond the original issue.
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IsraeliSoul




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 4:29 pm
There is nothing wrong with therapy.

It’s the misconception of what its created for.

Therapy can be very helpful, and sometimes a lifesaver - If it’s used for the right purposes.
Done by the right therapist.

Most people think of therapy as the fix it all solution for life’s problems.

No it’s not.
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batya315




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 4:32 pm
amother [ Black ] wrote:
If I had a doctor who said "I'll either help manage your diabetes, or stab you in the eye", I'd take my chances with a non-doctor.

Why not go to a doctor, then, who manages the diabetes, and doesn't stab in the eye?

As in every field, there are definitely therapists who should have their licensed revoked, but there are so many amazing therapists who help people turn their lives around!
Clients should be educated consumers - consult referral agency, do research and inquire and research if there are any red flags... and find a therapist that will do only good.
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amother




Black
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 4:32 pm
There is actually very little evidence that therapy is helpful in most cases. Certain therapies have been proven to help with certain disorders, but many types of therapy operate without evidence that they help.
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thunderstorm




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 4:36 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
System? I think people need to start growing thicker skin and not using therapy as a cop out to confront their poor behavior. I'm not referring to legitimate mental health concerns, but this modern "go to therapy because x y z behavior" when sucking it up or facing reality or setting limits could cure it.

People with thick skin attend therapy. Those are the ones that face the stigma and still show up and do the hard internal work.
Therapy is a tool box. The client going to therapy is the fixerman. He/she just needs to know what tools to use for specific situations. Once they are provided with the set of tools, it’s all on THEM to do the work. Where is there a cop out here?
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amother




White
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 4:37 pm
if you dont have a support system

if something going in your life (read today here "husband doent let me NOT go this time to the mikvah on Friday night")

Any strange behavior of a spouse/ parent/ child/ co worker

to look at it with a fresh perspective, to see whats acceptable, whats not

to learn that you have rights

etc etc

an objective third party to talk to is a great idea. non judgmental, willing to hear your feelings, confidential, support you becoming independent - therapy is a wonderful thing

and insurance pays for a reason

takes time and effort to get a good match.. but helpful for many turns in life.

you got a crazy spouse? who would listen and help you analyze?

H doesnt put you on his bank account? who should you speak with?

Free the opressed! Bring in the therapist!!

;-)
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amother




Floralwhite
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 4:39 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
People with thick skin attend therapy. Those are the ones that face the stigma and still show up and do the hard internal work.
Therapy is a tool box. The client going to therapy is the fixerman. He/she just needs to know what tools to use for specific situations. Once they are provided with the set of tools, it’s all on THEM to do the work. Where is there a cop out here?


Why do you need it?
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amother




Blonde
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 4:43 pm
So what do you all suggest I'm not facing that I'm still experiencing affects from childhood s-x abuse and growing up in a family that told me I wasn't normal and I should hate myself?

The solution is what? Just stop hating myself.

Hey - why didn't I think of that?
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TranquilityAndPeace




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 4:45 pm
There are many mothers who have harmed their children.

Physically and emotionally.

There are mothers who adopted and fostered kids and made their problems worse.

There are mothers who have caused enormous damage.

There are mothers who deserve to be locked up and have their reproductive organs disabled.

Shall we issue a PSA that motherhood should only be pursued under extreme conditions and often causes tremendous harm???
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amother




Scarlet
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 5:18 pm
I can never understand how those who haven't been in therapy themselves, have such a strong opinion on how therapy is useless and pointless and unnecessary.
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amother




Peach
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 5:23 pm
I'm stuck by "therapy is a cop out " what? Therapy is the opposite of cop out. It's facing whatever you want to cop out of.
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amother




Scarlet
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 5:24 pm
amother [ Peach ] wrote:
I'm stuck by "therapy is a cop out " what? Therapy is the opposite of cop out. It's facing whatever you want to cop out of.

Lol right. Acting out and refusing to go to therapy is the only cop out.
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amother




Floralwhite
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 5:28 pm
amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:
Lol right. Acting out and refusing to go to therapy is the only cop out.


But don't act out to begin with lol.
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batya315




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 5:31 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
But don't act out to begin with lol.

So you suggest people rein it all in... deny the existence of any issues or difficult emotions.
Coast through life on autopilot, skimming the surface, and just getting through each day.

And where will that leave us?
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amother




Floralwhite
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 5:34 pm
batya315 wrote:
So you suggest people rein it all in... deny the existence of any issues or difficult emotions.
Coast through life on autopilot, skimming the surface, and just getting through each day.

And where will that leave us?


With a better behaved society and more manners.
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amother




Babypink
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 5:44 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
System? I think people need to start growing thicker skin and not using therapy as a cop out to confront their poor behavior. I'm not referring to legitimate mental health concerns, but this modern "go to therapy because x y z behavior" when sucking it up or facing reality or setting limits could cure it.

I have a sister in law who endured a lot of childhood trauma. She and her husband were going on about sucking up your past and moving forward. Don’t go to therapy. Be a big girl. Um. Except she is not coping and is messing up her kids. There is so much dysfunction there. My experience is that the people who go on about sucking it up are usually the most dysfunctional. Btw my own husband likes to put down therapy. I feel bad for him because he will never work through his very large issues. All I can do is learn to create my own happiness and try to minimize the damage on our children. BH through years of therapy I am in a very good place. Therapy literally saved my life. I’m sad for those who have had such terrible experiences that they won’t try it again (I had some very bad therapy experiences too... so bad that I knew I couldn’t function without seeing a therapist to work through it.)
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amother




Scarlet
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 6:14 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
But don't act out to begin with lol.

So you think everything is a matter of self-control?
Have you never felt overwhelmed or anxious? Are you always perfectly in control over your emotions? And all your relationships are calm and healthy? And everything in your life is smooth and easy and nothing gets you stressed or makes you feel out of control?
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LovesHashem




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 6:37 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
With a better behaved society and more manners.


Not everyone can live that way nor is it healthy. Some people feel strongly. Maybe you don't. Idk if I'm feeling something I'm literally not functional until I deal with it.
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