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Name doubts/regret

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 4:14 pm
Wondering if anyone here experienced significant doubts/regret over the name they gave their child?

It's not that I necessarily have a problem with the name itself, but I doubt whether we should have given the other option we were considering, instead...

How to either come to peace with this decision? Or... change it? (And be at peace with that?)
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Moonlight




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Oct 26 2020, 6:15 pm
Tell yourself it was given with ruach hakodesh and that's that
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 2:57 am
I never understood that. It certainly didn't feel like ruach hakodesh at the time! I was up the whole night before stressing about it...
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amother




Burlywood
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 3:03 am
Unfortunately me. My husband and I had chosen a name. Morning of bris husband decides to change it and I don't know why I agreed. Problem was that name B (that we ended up using) a rabbi had told me is a bad name to put on a child (brings the baby bad luck). I don't know what got into us that we ended up going with that name. But I cried for almost a year over it. I cried everyday. My child is 3 now and honestly I love the name. His personality made the name so cute!
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amother




Tan
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 3:15 am
I had a really crazy birth and I was still very traumatized and out of it a week later when we decided we should really give the little lady a name already.

I definitely felt the ruach hakodesh, just like I did with my other children, in the sense that the name just "stuck", though I didn't feel like I was choosing it. It's an unusual name, I don't love it, and I have regrets, but on the other hand there is no alternative that fits better. I just feel like the name belongs to her.
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amother




Olive
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 5:06 am
I have two kids and DH let me pick both names. I've never had regret, but did have a lot of uncertainty.

Both times I had a short list of favorite names, and thought that once baby was born one of those names would really pop out at me, but when baby was born, nothing popped out, so each time I gave the top name but with a feeling of uncertainty. With each kid it actually took a few months for the name to "click".

Occasionally I still feel doubt about one of the children's names because it is uncommon and when I read (I think on imamother!) of some people saying they have an uncommon name and they hate it, it gives me a little doubt. But then I remind myself that my name is pretty uncommon and unlike it, so why worry. My kids are still under 3 so they can't tell me whether or not they like their names. I hope so!
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Kiwi13




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 8:09 am
Not named regret per se, but with my firstborn I bonded with him as “baby” before the bris, and his real name felt weird to me. I also had trouble with whether we’d call him by his first name or middle. His first name felt weird to me on its own. Long story short, he goes by first AND middle and it’s perfect. When my second son was born I made sure to mentally acknowledge his name-to-be even though he didn’t have his bris until weeks later.
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amother




Lavender
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 8:19 am
I posted almost this exact question almost 9 yrs ago. We were choosing between 2 versions of a name. I always believed I’d give one of them - all my life really. At the last minute as my DH left to shul we chose the other.

During the kiddush I really regretted it. I think I recall moping in my room. Whenever I called her the name I felt it wasn’t her name or the name I always believed I would name a daughter.
It took some time. But the name really became her. And after some time I started to realize she needed this name more. Now it is definetly her name and right. Sometimes I wish I had given the other name (even as I write this post). It’s not a longing for her to have the name - bec I don’t think now it would’ve been her. Just that I could’ve used the name altogether. But this name is really her now.
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amother




Teal
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 8:27 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I never understood that. It certainly didn't feel like ruach hakodesh at the time! I was up the whole night before stressing about it...


Yes, I feel the same. I never felt the ruach hakodesh. But ultimately whatever name you decided to give was from Hashem. There are no mistakes. If you were doing the wrong thing c"v, Hashem would send you the ruach hakodesh. Just my feeling on the matter.
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