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straightalk




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 12:08 pm
My daughter just turned three. She's a sweet smart and gentle child that would hug children in the park when they cry. She's in playgroup for about a week as playgroup started after sukkos. The teacher has not stopped complaining about my daughter every time I pick up her. The first day I picked her up, her eyes were red and swollen. Teacher said my daughter wanted to continue holding a doll after clean up. She refused to put it into the box and give it up. She forced her to put it away and my daughter was crying for a while. She loves holding a doll or animal in her hand. Sleeps with them wakes up with them and doesn't leave the house without one in her arm.

Next day she complained my daughter isn't playing with toys long enough to focus and is going from one to another which is absolutely not true as her mother this kid can play with a kitchen center for hours.

Every day something else. Very seldom a good word about her. Every day I have a pit in my stomach growing bigger and bigger.

Yesturday was too much. Daughter again looked soul crushed when I picked her up teacher said she had a meltdown when she made her put away her stuffed giraffe she loved because it wasn't letting her do her arts and crafts properly. Then she says I never saw a three year old that has to always hold a toy in her hand and I'd have her evaluated for therapy. Maybe a 15 month old but not three. Today she's home with me. Didn't send her. What do I do? Is this normal behavior from a playgroup teacher? Is something wrong with my child. We're a week into playgroup for reference.
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sim




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 12:10 pm
Sheesh.
Run, don't walk, away from this playgroup. Find a nice sweet teacher who actually likes kids and isn't a control freak.
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tichellady




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 12:11 pm
She sounds terrible. This is not normal
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essie14




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 12:15 pm
sim wrote:
Sheesh.
Run, don't walk, away from this playgroup. Find a nice sweet teacher who actually likes kids and isn't a control freak.

Yes yes yes yes
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4sure




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 12:19 pm
OMG id run away from that playgroup.
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realsilver




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 12:24 pm
sim wrote:
Sheesh.
Run, don't walk, away from this playgroup. Find a nice sweet teacher who actually likes kids and isn't a control freak.


yup.
a mothers heart knows best
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Rappel




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 12:27 pm
Looks like we're all in agreement here.
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LovesHashem




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 12:28 pm
The behaviors itself are actually pretty common. I've worked in many daycares. Like kids aren't allowed to just hold onto toys all day - of course for some it may take time to get used to the rule and we are never this strict in the beginging.

Toys do not belong in arts and crafts as they can get dirty but if a child was hysterical over a toy I would give her the option to stay on the mat with her toy instead of joining us at the table for arts and crafts. I've met children who were particularly sensitive to certain things and gave those children a lot more leeway, time, etc.

What worries me is that her morah seems to be super negative and is insensitive to your child's needs.

Please find a new morah - and when you do please explain to her when you apply for your child that your child is really sensitive about letting toys go and she needs someone who is understanding and empathetic.
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straightalk




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 12:33 pm
LovesHashem wrote:
The behaviors itself are actually pretty common. I've worked in many daycares. Like kids aren't allowed to just hold onto toys all day - of course for some it may take time to get used to the rule and we are never this strict in the beginging.

Toys do not belong in arts and crafts as they can get dirty but if a child was hysterical over a toy I would give her the option to stay on the mat with her toy instead of joining us at the table for arts and crafts. I've met children who were particularly sensitive to certain things and gave those children a lot more leeway, time, etc.

What worries me is that her morah seems to be super negative and is insensitive to your child's needs.

Please find a new morah - and when you do please explain to her when you apply for your child that your child is really sensitive about letting toys go and she needs someone who is understanding and empathetic.


Thank you for this explanation. This is my first in school and I was struggling with how to go about it and what's considered normal and what's concerning here. I will do exactly that. Very good point to tell morah before we begin. She wakes up and first thing asks for the doll she went to sleep with. So it means the world to her!
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gamzehyaavor




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 12:34 pm
Oh gosh. Glad my 3 year old is home with me cuz who knows what she would be labeled with... refer to my “yummy” post in the toddler thread.
The kid ALWAYS has to cuddle something. More so for a kid that’s transitioning to a new place & finds comfort in that little doll or giraffe. Gosh, you’d think at 3 years old it’s a *must* to do an arts n crafts Can't Believe It
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veiznisht




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 12:39 pm
Run don't walk.
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 12:40 pm
I agree, a new playgroup may be the best move. The teacher is wrong to be so fast to label and she sounds authoritarian. The trouble is, this late in the year, we all know how hard that can be to find.

I used to be a preschool teacher. I understand why the morah would not allow her toys in the arts and crafts area; its begging for the lovey to get painted, glued, cut, etc. Ask the morah if you can send your own lovey with your daughter moving forward, and make sure she understands that you are ok with projects not being "done properly".

The morah does sound like she does not understand the age. Having said that, now may be as good a time as any for your daughter to learn that we can not always have a doll under in the hand. Some things really do need two hands to make work, and at this age when children develop so rapidly, I can see how the morah would prefer she has two hands available for activities that need two hands. For example, your daughter can not cut paper or glue with one hand on a doll. These things need fine motor skills and two handed cooperation and I agree, she needs to put it down to do them.
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amother




Slategray
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 12:43 pm
Please send your daughter to a better daycare, for you and for her. It should never be like this, my heart hurts reading this
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amother




Silver
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 12:46 pm
I would pull her out fast. I didn't know such things were happening to my child at the time and over time she turned into a shell of herself and has some long term issues because of it. It's so important for kids to be in a positive environment where they feel safe and loved.
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dancingqueen




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 12:47 pm
Yet another vote to pull your dd out of this playgroup today before this teacher destroys her.
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Chayalle




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 12:51 pm
This is not first grade, for goodness sake.

I remember when my DD was in Primary, the teacher told me that when coloring time was over, DD was still coloring. I asked her about it, and she said "cuz I wasn't finished yet". At that age, DD had to learn to keep up with the group, and if the teacher said to put crayons away, it was time to move on.

But you are talking about a 3-year-old! For goodness sake. Take her out of there.
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amother




Sapphire
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 1:12 pm
This does not seem normal to me at all. The resentment she appears to feel towards your daughter is particularly disturbing. All three of my children began full-time daycare at four months old and have been in full-time group care of one kind or another, or school, since. They've had their share of age-appropriate behavior issues, but it was always discussed with empathy. These were more significant things like biting or hitting (at ages 1-2) or disturbing other children at nap time (age 2-3). The type of minor classroom management issues you're describing weren't even ever raised, although I'm sure they occurred.
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straightalk




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 1:38 pm
amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:
This does not seem normal to me at all. The resentment she appears to feel towards your daughter is particularly disturbing. All three of my children began full-time daycare at four months old and have been in full-time group care of one kind or another, or school, since. They've had their share of age-appropriate behavior issues, but it was always discussed with empathy. These were more significant things like biting or hitting (at ages 1-2) or disturbing other children at nap time (age 2-3). The type of minor classroom management issues you're describing weren't even ever raised, although I'm sure they occurred.

Exactly I also feel the resentment and I just don't understand it. Thank you for sharing your experiences it helps put things in perspective.
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straightalk




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 1:40 pm
[quote="Chayalle"]This is not first grade, for goodness sake.

I remember when my DD was in Primary, the teacher told me that when coloring time was over, DD was still coloring. I asked her about it, and she said "cuz I wasn't finished yet". At that age, DD had to learn to keep up with the group, and if the teacher said to put crayons away, it was time to move on.

But you are talking about a 3-year-old! For goodness sake. Take her out of there.[/quote

Thank you for that validation Hug
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straightalk




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Oct 27 2020, 1:41 pm
amother [ Silver ] wrote:
I would pull her out fast. I didn't know such things were happening to my child at the time and over time she turned into a shell of herself and has some long term issues because of it. It's so important for kids to be in a positive environment where they feel safe and loved.


I'm so scared of that. She's already behaving differently....
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