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If you’re someone who is naturally REALLY messy...
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 27 2020, 5:38 pm
andrea levy wrote:
Purging. The less you have, the less you have to keep neat. It makes everything easier.


Including making decisions. If all you have is two evening bags, it's fairly easy to decide which to carry. If you have twenty-two, the evening could be over by the time you make up your mind.
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peacenine




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 27 2020, 7:04 pm
One point I haven't seen mentioned is getting an adhd coach. This will help you work with your strengths instead of fighting yourself!
And kudos to you for working on figuring it out. I have family members in such situations and its painful to watch them struggle when there's help available.
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zigi




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 27 2020, 7:17 pm
Www.aslobcomesclean.com she has podcasts too. Also take a picture if your space to see it with new eyes to see what you need to work on.
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Genius




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 27 2020, 7:45 pm
A tip I recently found online is to take something along every time you leave a room.
For example, when you leave the bedroom to get to the kitchen take along garbage to throw in the bin. Or laundry to drop in the hamper. It’s beena great help for me.

Making the bed in the morning also takes two minutes and is so worth it. (My husband used to tease me that he makes his bed before he goes so that my eyes should have at least one flat surface to land on)
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Tue, Oct 27 2020, 7:54 pm
amother [ Bisque ] wrote:
I have this embarrassing habit of peeking into other people's houses, and trying to find someone messier than me Hiding
So far I win Sad

I guess you haven't visited my house. Mad
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amother
Cerise


 

Post Tue, Oct 27 2020, 8:14 pm
peacenine wrote:
One point I haven't seen mentioned is getting an adhd coach. This will help you work with your strengths instead of fighting yourself!
And kudos to you for working on figuring it out. I have family members in such situations and its painful to watch them struggle when there's help available.


Do you have any links or recommendations?
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Tue, Oct 27 2020, 9:19 pm
Ha, how would someone with ADHD afford a coach? Right now, my plan is to go on ADHD meds after I finish my childbearing years. Until then, I practice loving acceptance (or I try to), and, as Flylady says, work on the mess 15 minutes at a time.
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amother
Cerise


 

Post Tue, Oct 27 2020, 10:21 pm
Every day put on a timer or 5 minutes in each room. 10 - 20 minutes in the kitchen.
Work fast and robustly, and stop after 5.

Of course there will more things to address, but this will help to reduce the overall untidiness.
And once you've made the 5 minute dent it will be easier overall.
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AMW-SW




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 27 2020, 10:36 pm
Hi I do organizing and have some great tips plz dm if ur interested in some tips and ideas....
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Frumwithallergies




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 27 2020, 11:07 pm
I took the Cleaning Ninja from my local library. It contains many of the suggestions listed by other posters and really helped me.

I too have ADD and am medicated. I work 80-100 hrs per weeks some weeks, without consistent cleaning help during the pandemic. My kids help, as does my DH but it isn't enough.

Reading the Cleaning Ninja, I now keep my kitchen clean, doing it every night and every morning at least 15 minutes.

I have many micro-fiber rags, use once and put in the laundry. They wash and dry well. I keep small bottles of cleaning products in each bathroom and replace washed shmattas back to each bathroom to use again immediately.

Hatzlacha!
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 27 2020, 11:31 pm
One thing that helps me is working in chunks of time rather than chunks of objectives. A list of to-dos doesn't often end up getting done, but if I tell myself I'm going to clean/tidy for the duration of a 25 minute podcast, I can often get a LOT of random cleaning/tidying done during that time. And it doesn't matter to me that much that it's random because it'll be stuff that has to happen, the boring things, taking out the garbage and washing the dishes and hanging up laundry and dusting and whatever, and I don't need a list for that because I'm lax enough that it's fairly obvious what wants attention.

Obviously this is not enough to get on top of everything, but I think it takes a full toolbox of different strategies and if I can light the fire under my engine for 20ish minutes a day that's worth a lot.

And it's been said already but purge purge purge. The cluttered among us need to do this constantly, spring cleaning purge isn't enough because things can sneak in somehow and pile up fast.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 27 2020, 11:33 pm
Genius wrote:
A tip I recently found online is to take something along every time you leave a room.
For example, when you leave the bedroom to get to the kitchen take along garbage to throw in the bin. Or laundry to drop in the hamper. It’s beena great help for me.

Making the bed in the morning also takes two minutes and is so worth it. (My husband used to tease me that he makes his bed before he goes so that my eyes should have at least one flat surface to land on)

I do that too with taking things from room to room. Sometimes it can end up in a "give a mouse a cookie" type of loop but often it just gets things closer to where they need to go so that if I need to address them later it's simpler.

Also agree about having a surface to rest your eyes. It's not usually bed for me, but whatever it is, you do need one island however small without clutter so that you don't have to feel like literally EVERYTHING is a mess.
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Wed, Oct 28 2020, 12:02 am
Clutterbug. Very realistic cleaning and organizing
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its.just.me




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 28 2020, 1:22 am
I’m naturally a very messy person, but I’m also very into aesthetics and having a pretty looking house, so my entire life is a struggle between these two things.

The only thing that works for me at all is organizing. I had a professional organizer come to my house and do two rooms, but I learned so much from her and did the rest of my house that way. Basically, everything needs a system and a spot that it’s kept otherwise it turns into the beginning of a mess.

I find that maintaining the system works but as soon as I slack off it goes downhill very quickly. And then it affects my mood which is terrible.

Also, my mother is like me and every time I visit her messy and cluttered house I freak out that I don’t want to end up like that and come home and throw lots of stuff out. My husband knows to expect it. Lol. But in all seriousness I see how it affects her quality of life and my goal is not to let that happen to me.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 28 2020, 1:51 am
I hear you! I think I'm "fine", but as soon as someone comes over I look around my house through their eyes and die of embarrassment. It doesn't help though. As soon as they leave I go right back to my old ways.

Marie Kondo (Konmarie) helps a lot for organizing small things. "How Clean is Your House (UK version)" is very inspiring. I watch one episode on YouTube, and then clean something. Watch another episode, clean something else. "Hoarders" is also good inspiration.

Fun, upbeat music gets me to wash the dishes and sponga the floors.

I can't take ADD meds, because they trigger panic attacks, which totally defeats the purpose. My depression is written all over the place, because most of the time I don't have the energy to deal with life in general.

What really gets me moving, is hearing about someone who is in more need than I am. Several years ago, there were families making Aliyah from Argentina, who literally came with just the clothing on their backs. Not even a carry on suitcase, because they didn't have anything to carry. Suddenly, I could look around and see all the things that I had way too much of.

It changed the way I looked at my stuff. I ended up donating 8 bags of clothes, 2 bags of toys, and 4 large boxes of housewares - and I didn't miss any of it! How did I have all of that, get rid of it, and not feel any loss? I do have mild hoarding and anxiety tendencies, and having a "good reason" to get rid of things helps me override that feeling of needing to hold on to everything. I can't just get rid of stuff if it's still good. I need to know that it's not being thrown away.

I think a lot of my problem comes from having been homeless for a few years. Only owning what I could stuff in a back pack still haunts me, and having lots of "things" makes me feel more secure. I realize now that it's a false sense of security, and that I need to work on my emunah. Slowly, slowly, I'm getting there. It's hard to undo so many years of insecurity - and it's even harder to not beat myself up for it. The shame can be paralyzing.
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Rappel




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 28 2020, 5:29 am
amother [ Oak ] wrote:
Okay, I thought of one thing I did. The problem is, I can see how this would make the problem worse for some people. Anyway, I tried picking certain room(s) that I would keep more organized, while not worrying about the other rooms. The goal being to slowly extend the neat territory.
Like I said, this could go very wrong if you have tons of stuff and just keep squashing the whole mess into a smaller space, which would make it harder to clean up in the end. The idea is to organize the designated area initially, without adding to the mess elsewhere, and then to continuously organize that area to keep it neat.
Good luck! It's definitely smart that you want to do this now.


This is important. OP, I find I can't keep track of too many moving parts at once, and I get overwhelmed when there is so much stuff around. So my biggest solution is to throw away a lot of stuff while I'm organising. The recycler in my heart hurts, but it's them or me. I don't have ADHD, and even for me it's too distracting and overwhelming to have clutter, and I am NOT naturally organised.

By the same token: my children will probably never have Legos or Playmobil, only easy-clean magnetiles. Dishes need to be washed as soon as they're used, pots before we sit down to a meal. Only one book off the shelf at a time. Children mostly play with their toys only in their room, and I set them to clean up in the afternoon before supper. Rules like these keep me sane, and keep the clutter down. Everything must have a place if it's in my home. If it doesn't have a place, then it can't stay.
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amother
Jade


 

Post Wed, Oct 28 2020, 5:40 am
This is me, I was always naturally a mess.. but I was lucky enough to marry a neat freak so as soon as I got married I had to learn fast that living in a mess was not an option!
The thing about me is, I know how I like it, and in my head I want it perfect, I am not happy or comfortable in a mess anymore.. but it’s not always so simple to get there.
I am lucky, I have cleaning help (which sometimes annoys me cuz she tends to dump instead of putting things where they belong!) and I wouldn’t manage without her.
I also put on timers. Like 6 minutes per room. I try my best (I do slip up sometimes!) not to look at my phone and just get each room as clean and presentable as possible.
But it’s hard, my brain is all over, I for sure have adhd, and I procrastinate a lot..
I also get upset sometimes that I can never get my kitchen looking AS clean and neat as when the cleaning lady is done with it.
Good luck!!
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amother
Red


 

Post Wed, Oct 28 2020, 8:37 am
I used to be wayyy worse but have gotten better over the years. My DH is good at cleaning and appreciates a clean house. I'm still not where I want to be and some weeks are horrible while others are great!
I think I have slight ADD
I just start. I put something away and somehow continue to do so until its all away.
1) an organizer is really helpful for kitchens. Everything has a place.
2) put a timer on for 10 minutes and just do as much as you can in those 10 minutes. (You can also keep going if you want).

I have no advice on clothes... they still overwhelm me and I 100% need an organizer for that next
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amother
Mauve


 

Post Wed, Oct 28 2020, 9:23 am
yes andrea levy you are 100% right!!!!

I also watch minimal mom (ok she is super extreme, but relatable), lydia senn and erica lucas on youtube. they INSPIRE me because they all strated off being messy and now handle their household really well focussing on the REALLY important things in life.
I dont folow ALL their steps and advice by far, but seing other real mamas tackle their every day schores motivates me too pick up that dirty alundry and run a cycle, or declutter taht drawer in the kitchen or to purge kids' clothes that they outgrew.
flylady is another great advice. again: I dont follow her halacha orthodoxly, but the general diea is great. all these women are non judgemental and sem to understand where we are coming from Smile

hazlacha, when even I got inspired anyone can tackle it.
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