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Advice for spouses that dont agree re covid

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Oct 28 2020, 5:58 am
There are enough political threads, please address my question. Very Happy

I do not want to get covid, I don't even want to get the flu right now. If I get sick it will be difficult to take care and f my family. Being out if commission for more than 1 day would be a disaster, and my families base c needs wouldn’t get met, no family to help if I get sick.

DH wouldnt mind getting sick, and has issues wearing a mask all day and work. At his work some and people are sd and some not. And its indoors. He works with a partner usually, and there are meetings that happen everyday

I want him to go back to work as it would be good for him mentally to get back to life.

If he were to take no precautions, I would feel the need to “sd” from him . Especially “sleeping” in separate beds. And we both dont want that.

He is willing to take precautions outside the he home but just cant wear mask all day. Any other ideas. Is a face shield a good compromise , it stops droplets but doesn’t filter air. Are there masks that are super good for wearing all day (although im not sure which part of mask wearing bothers him, if its breathing fresh air or having something in face, etc. or I could just wear a mask all day at home, but I dont think that helps the sleeping in the same bed issue.
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amother




Beige
 

Post  Wed, Oct 28 2020, 6:02 am
My husband is much less cautious than I am. I got covid twice and so far he has not (tested negative when I had it). Go figure... sorry don’t have specific advice for you.
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enjoying kids




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 28 2020, 6:34 am
I'm usually not in the "masks do nothing" camp, but I really don't feel they make enough of a difference to warrant that kind of upheaval in your marriage. He should avoid large crowds and be vigilant about isolating himself if he has ANY symptoms or exposure.
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amother




Babyblue
 

Post  Wed, Oct 28 2020, 6:42 am
The people at his work- did they have it yet?
I'm a bit comfortable with the idea of spending every day with the same people.
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amother




Puce
 

Post  Wed, Oct 28 2020, 8:31 am
enjoying kids wrote:
I'm usually not in the "masks do nothing" camp, but I really don't feel they make enough of a difference to warrant that kind of upheaval in your marriage. He should avoid large crowds and be vigilant about isolating himself if he has ANY symptoms or exposure.


I agree that masking up in his situation probably wouldn't make enough of a difference unless he were wearing an N95 - which loses its effectiveness if worn with a beard (don't know if he has one or not) and is very difficult to wear for long periods of time so if he's uncomfortable with masks, there's no way he'll be able to wear an N95 all day.

As far as isolating himself if he has any symptoms or exposure, covid is often transmitted before symptoms appear - that's where the whole difficulty comes in here. If people were only infectious after they start showing symptoms, they could isolate at the first sign of illness and then not transmit it to anyone. The whole problem with this illness is that people are spreading it without knowing they have it.
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SuperWify




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 28 2020, 8:39 am
Please don’t be like that. My dh is way more cautious then me and he got corona and I didn’t. So you really never know.

Last edited by SuperWify on Wed, Oct 28 2020, 8:49 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother




Puce
 

Post  Wed, Oct 28 2020, 8:42 am
amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:
The people at his work- did they have it yet?
I'm a bit comfortable with the idea of spending every day with the same people.


That's a fairly good point. My husband davens in a very small shul and basically everyone there had it already (he actually asked everyone) so I feel less nervous about him going. It isn't foolproof, but it is somewhat safer than regularly coming into contact with new people.
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amother




Puce
 

Post  Wed, Oct 28 2020, 9:13 am
OP, my situation is similar to yours. Personally, I could isolate for years if I have to but my husband and kids can't. And I can't isolate from them indefinitely. I very inconsistently try to wear masks and shields around them, make them wear masks at certain times, leave doors and windows open for ventilation, declare "safe zones" for myself that no one is allowed into - but like I said, it's very inconsistent because it's really hard to live life like that for an extended period of time. And as far as "sleeping" in separate beds, barring abstinence, the only thing I could come up with is putting the cover over your face TMI - and I'm not even sure that would help.

Unfortunately I don't think you'll get any problem solving solutions here - simply because there are none. That's the truth of it - there is no solution. So I give my whole family vitamins and hand sanitizer and make them wash their hands as soon as they come home - and I'm nervous all the time.
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amother




Puce
 

Post  Wed, Oct 28 2020, 9:31 am
I just want to add one more thing that I forgot to mention - viral load. I keep stressing this to my family, but they, as most people. keep seeing it as all or nothing - a person either catches it or they don't. But the amount of viral load a person is exposed to also plays a role in how sick they get so even if you can't be 100% distanced, to whatever degree you are able to be careful, there is benefit in that. If you ch'v catch it, you might get a milder case - as many people do.
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