Preteen dd has needed me to sit with her while she falls asleep since covid started. It usually takes anywhere from 10-30 minutes, in the dark. She is old enough so that her bedtime is on the later side, and her body rhythm is such that she can't really start trying to sleep until 10:15 or later.
I am tired. My body rhythm means I need almost an hour to fall asleep after I am last walkimg around. So I get changed and go sit with her, then at 10:45 or so, I get to my room and settle in, falling asleep just before midnight or later. It's a problem.
What can I do? If I dont sit with her, she is still up at midnight, and ends up crawling in my bed and keeping or waking me up.
My preteen daughter got into the habit of going to sleep in our beds every night and I had no energy to fight it, so I let it go on for too long. Then I finally said no more and for about a week she was up until crazy times, basically waiting for us to to fall asleep so she can sneak in. I’m talking about 1-2 am. And then she had to wake up a few hours later for school. I didn’t know what to do.. but I was strong about it and did not let her come in at least while I was awake, and eventually she did start falling asleep earlier. Now I’m dealing with the next issue, that she wakes up in middle of the night and comes in anyway. But my point is that if you’re on top of making sure she doesn’t come in, I think maybe she will eventually start falling asleep at a more normal time. They have to eventually tire out!
Thanks. If she can't come in, she will turn on the light in her room or start walking around the house to entertain herself. She hates the time in between when she puts down her book and when she falls asleep because nothing's happening. But she can be ok with it if someone is with her. Otherwise, she will entertain herself which keeps her up, for hours.
Fyi, we tried audiobooks. They keep her awake because she gets involved in the story. If we get her anything less involving, she has no interest and it doesn't help. Also, the only way to keep her from crawling into my bed while I'm asleep is locking the door, which we can't do because of other kids' needs.
I won’t lock the door because I feel it’s too mean. I don’t have other kids at during the week. Can you bribe her? I know someone that worked well for. Maybe I should try it for the sneaking in in middle of the night.
You both need better ways of unwinding and settling down. Personally I’d focus on anti inflammatory diet, calming neurotransmitter support, melatonin, calming herbals, maybe diffusing some calming essential oils.