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Forum -> Household Management -> Finances
I have $2.24 in my bank account



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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Nov 02 2020, 7:30 am
Since Yom Tov
I am deeply ashamed of my lack of money. It’s a huge embarrassment to me.
I am supposed to be paid on the first of every month. I started a new job on Sept 1st & this is only my second time being paid since starting.
On October 1st I had to ask my boss several times if she received my invoice & she did pay me in the evening of the first. (It’s made through direct deposit).
I checked my bank balance all yesterday, & nothing. This morning - still $2.24 in account.

I want to tell her that this is so not ok. But due to my embarrassment I don’t know how to say it & not feel deeply ashamed of my situation. B/c I am. I feel terrible that itS come to this. I don’t want/need to have to remind her every month & I NEED MY MONEY! SHE NEEDS TO PAY ME ON TIME!

The thing is: & this has nothing to do with her not paying me on time - I live in canada where I am eligible for extra funds from the govt if u make below a certain income (which I do). But due to my dh not filing our income tax last year - I can’t tap into this money. It’s such a sore topic & its a huge elephant in the room that’s come between us. It’s something that it inevitable that he knows he needs to do, & I am unable to file alone b/c were married, but he keeps on procrastinating due to his own issues.
So I feel stuck, & poor, & depressed & don’t feel confident enough to ask my boss for money that is owed to me.
That’s my story in a nutshell. I want to go back under my covers & stay in bed all day b/c there’s nothing for me to do anyway. I had to cancel a sheitel appt that I’ve been waiting for for 3 weeks cz I dont have the money to pay her Sad
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Mon, Nov 02 2020, 7:32 am
I'm so sorry. Financial issues are wrenching.

Are you sure you can't file? I do all the filing for me and DH, I just file as if I'm him, we file married jointly. I put in his social security number and information. That kind of paperwork is easier for me than it is for him.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 02 2020, 7:42 am
If you don't owe any taxes, file the tax returns even if they are late. (If you do owe, I understand that you are not filing because you can't pay them.) Even so, try going to the welfare agency and explain that you are having problems with your taxes. They may have a way to make it work for you.

As for your boss, approach her as if "there must be a problem with the bank, and could she please check her deposit history."

Never make this about your boss, always give her a graceful way to blame the bank, or something else. You just started this job, and you don't want her to get defensive, or view you as a troublemaker, even if she is 100% wrong.

If you think this will continue to be a problem, start looking for another job right away. You are not in a position to keep having late checks right now. Temp agencies are the best. They pay better, and if you develop a good record with them they will send you to the higher paying and more desirable jobs. I did that when I lived in NY, and I was never out of work, and always paid on time. Even better, I could take time off for holidays whenever I wanted, I just didn't get paid vacation for them.

Is your DH working at all? Can you at least encourage him to find something part time and temporary?
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Nov 02 2020, 7:50 am
amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:
I'm so sorry. Financial issues are wrenching.

Are you sure you can't file? I do all the filing for me and DH, I just file as if I'm him, we file married jointly. I put in his social security number and information. That kind of paperwork is easier for me than it is for him.


I can’t file alone. I just cant.
It’s something that he is in ‘charge’ of. I wouldn’t even know where to find all the paperwork I need on his behalf. & he’s avoiding to file cz he owes money & we dont’ have the money to pay. His work has taken a huge cut due to carona. He’s self employed & I got laid off from my job second week of march.
As stated I got a job - it’s only 13 hours a week, but better than nothing. I do admin work. Don’t make very much per hour. But like I said, it better than nothing.

But b/c I live in canada I was eligible for the emergency funding which was a literallly a life saver to us. That’s how we lived for 6 months b/c there wasn’t any income. & we had some savings which are now dried up. I don’t blame him for not wanting to file, but it affects me horribly. Which goes to show how immature I am, that the only reason I want him to file is b/c of what I can get out of it, not b/c its the right thing to do. I’m just awful. I prob would n’t be in the situation I’m in now if I wasn’t so bad with managing money.
I sound very young - I’m not - I’m in my fifties with kids & grandkids.
I’m so embarrassed.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 02 2020, 8:01 am
OP, you are not a bad person! You are a good person in a bad situation. Hug

Please try to talk things out with DH, in a way that won't make his feelings hurt. He's very embarrassed right now, too. I'm willing to bet. Ask him to gather up the papers, and then take all the papers to the welfare office. Dump them on the case worker's desk and say "Help! We've gotten behind and we don't know what to do now."

When you admit that you are having a problem, and admit that you want it fixed, how are they going to be mad at you? It's their job to figure this stuff out.

When all else fails, sit in the case worker's office and burst into tears. I'm not kidding. That usually gets them motivated to find a solution outside the box. Don't leave. Sit there and cry pathetically until they come up with an answer for you. You'll feel lower than dirt, but you'll get over it. All that matters is that you get this figured out. Keep your eye on the results, not the process.

BTDT. I know how it feels. Hug Hug Hug
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Nov 02 2020, 8:11 am
FF there is no ‘welfare office’ here.
It’s all done online due to carona and if you don’t have your papers filed, you are not eligible.
I did speak to dh a few weeks ago.
I know he’s deeply embarrassed but he won’t do it if he can’t pay. Bottom line.
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Mon, Nov 02 2020, 8:20 am
Just have one hard conversation with your boss that you really rely on this paycheck to live, and you'd appreciate if she can pay you at the end of each week. (or even a set bi-weekly schedule if that's better). sometimes people take this careless attitude with part time employees. I had a job where I got paid "whenever". It was a non-profit, but my husband was working. It was STILL frustrating, so I can't even imagine.
If she doesn't change it, look for something else.

Your husbands deal is a bigger issue. If he "takes care of stuff", he also has to "get a job, and take care of his family having bread on the table". You can't be the responsible one, without the access to get things done as you wish. Finding the finances for the taxes, even if you have to borrow money so you can access your government money.
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syrima




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 02 2020, 8:29 am
Wow that's so hard. Hugs! And your kids probably have no idea what you are going through which makes it even harder. Would it help if one of us sponsored your sheitel appointment?
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Nov 02 2020, 8:33 am
syrima wrote:
Wow that's so hard. Hugs! And your kids probably have no idea what you are going through which makes it even harder. Would it help if one of us sponsored your sheitel appointment?


Thank you but no, just no.
I cancelled it anyway.

Don’t need it.
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amother
Lawngreen


 

Post Mon, Nov 02 2020, 8:45 am
Is there a gemach that you can take a loan for your taxes
This way you can file and get emergency funds
I know it’s embarrassing but BH one day you’ll pay it forward
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Nov 02 2020, 8:46 am
How can I convey to my boss that I need her to pay me? On the first?

Is that unreasonable?
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Mon, Nov 02 2020, 9:06 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
How can I convey to my boss that I need her to pay me? On the first?

Is that unreasonable?


It's reasonable to expect to be paid on time.
It's not reasonable to let your husband be in charge of filing paperwork when he can't do it.

Fill in whatever you can, go through his papers and pull out whatever files you need. Or use last year's information and attach a note explaining that you don't have anything else. Just file.
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Nov 02 2020, 9:08 am
I’m sorry I started this thread 😢😢

It’s not helping me at all.
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Mon, Nov 02 2020, 9:11 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I’m sorry I started this thread 😢😢

It’s not helping me at all.


I'm sorry. I think we all care and want to help. Sometimes when you're stuck in a situation, it's hard for you to see what needs fixing first, but outsiders can assess the situation more objectively. I hope you get paid right away.
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amother
Lavender


 

Post Mon, Nov 02 2020, 9:15 am
Oy I’m so sorry op Crying Crying
I’m in a similar situation, also in Canada, DH pushing off filing taxes for the last half a year for a reason I don’t understand. So frustrating. We got a letter from the CRA they want $6k of child benefit money back because they don’t know we are eligible for it because we never filed.

On another note, I have been in a position where me debit card was declined a $5 purchase in the small local grocery store. It was devastating to me. Bh we are in such a better place now financially. Don’t stop davening and direct all tears to Hashem! Things can always turn around!!
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Nov 02 2020, 9:17 am
But I did speak to dh a few weeks ago about it

& he wants me to wait b/c his financial situation is so poor.

I feel stuck all around.

I’m in bed in a dark room and just can’t face another day.

He thinks I’m exaggerating the distress.

He said to me on Friday - ‘so your happy if we have money and sad if we don’t? That’s what it’s come down to? ‘

I can’t convey to him my deep humiliation of how I feel. Like I seriously can’t function in a normal way. Maybe I need some serious help.
But everything costs money. Like everything
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pause




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 02 2020, 9:20 am
Money that you worked for, that you earned, that is rightfully yours, you have every right to demand. There is nothing embarrassing about telling your boss that you rely on the money for living expenses and that you need her to pay you on time. Be assertive, be firm.
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