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causemommysaid
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Sun, Nov 08 2020, 10:54 am
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Since she declined money, I would get her a really nice gift Chanukah time, Purim time, and end of the year. Sort of like for teachers. Maybe gift cards or a beautiful fancy mishloach manos
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sweet
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Sun, Nov 08 2020, 12:39 pm
I would definitely pay every week.
When I lived in a building and I would wait with my kids outside for the bus I always had a neighbor who would send me down her son every day so I should put him on the bus too, and she doesnt need to wait for the bus and everyday she wanted me to have her son for an hour and a half after school until she got home from work, 4 days a week)
She never offered to pay me and I felt used and abused..
And she always put me on the spot every time I told her its not working out for me.
After 2- 3 months I finally said no way.
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Amarante
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Sun, Nov 08 2020, 1:13 pm
I agree with others that a really nice gift is appropriate.
I think many people would feel strange taking money in this situation especially since you do drive on Friday.
If I were driving a neighbor/friend's child in this circumstance, I would not accept payment and would decline if I were asked to accept payment but I would feel that a gift of some kind was appropriate. It wouldn't be that I was doing it for the gift but if the situations were reversed I would get the person nice gifts and so I try to treat people the way I would expect to be treated in similar circumstances.
Personally I think generic gift cards are better than gifts to a specific store or establishment. I have a number of specific gift cards that are sitting in my drawers unused.
However, a Visa gift card or an Amazon gift card can be used easily without having to think about it.
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cbg
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Sun, Nov 08 2020, 1:22 pm
| amother [ Chocolate ] wrote: | I like the idea of a gas card
Or different gift card every 2 months
To restaurant, amazon or just a visa gift card
Even if she declines it’s the right thing to do
And please include a nice thank you card |
Visa gift card this way she can decide where to spend it.
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shanie5
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Sun, Nov 08 2020, 5:07 pm
I think the gas card idea is a good one.
I wouldn't want payment either. It then becomes an obligatin as opposed to a chessed for the driver.
For those saying op should "pay" for 4 days, its 3 days she should pay for. Day 4 is paid in return by her driving day 5.
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ExtraCredit
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Sun, Nov 08 2020, 6:28 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | No I’m a normal regular understanding person not looking to take advantage of anyone, and therefore asking what the rate is. I also take Fridays when she doesn’t drive and when she’s off from work (legal holidays, sick days etc) |
You actually sound very menchlich and very obviously not looking to take advantage otherwise you wouldn’t open this thread. I vote for a gift card vs. paying in cash because:
1-she clearly said she doesn’t want you to pay her
2-she’ll feel obligated to do it on days that she doesn’t work. If you pay, how will you calculate every holiday or her sick days?
3- you take Friday so she’ll feel like she owes you change for that.
A gift card on Chanukah, Purim and end of year is very appropriate!
Btw I’m the recipient of a similar type of favor (not transportation but something else that “costs nothing” for the giver but is a huge favor for me). I told her in the beginning that I’d feel so much better if I pay but she adamantly refused money. I bought (exchangeable) expensive gifts equaling the amount I felt fair to pay. She wouldn’t even accept a gift card. Too similar to money. A gift a few times a year was most appropriate in my case.
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this is crazy!
