Chizzuk for deciding not to nurse

amother

Violet

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 6:07 am

I breastfed all my babies at the start, but they all ended up on bottles, some pretty early. I always say that the mother’s sanity is more important than the breast milk. Once it was too hard, I stopped. You do what you think works best for you. A happy mommy is best for baby.

amother

Sienna

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 6:08 am

I felt so guilty after deciding to stop by 4 months for one of my kids but it was the best thing I cld have done for myself. Being able to breathe and make a bottle for the baby was so good for me at that time. Don’t feel guilty. Whatever works for you.

amother

White

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 6:10 am

Mazel Tov!
I know this isn’t what you want to hear and I’m prepared for some tomato throwing but if your on the fence then maybe consider nursing even partially. It isn’t all or nothing and it’s a world of a difference for your baby. The emotional closeness and bonding that is formed when a mother nurses is unsurpassed. Of course you can bond while bottle feeding as well and really build an attachment that way as well. Although there is something that is really special to nursing a baby and it’s something that a mom can only do for a limited amount of the child’s life. It’s a gift that has a very short window of time to give.
Nursing isn’t all or nothing. Even nursing twice a day gives some of the benefits. Good luck making the best choice ( and that might be bottle feeding) for you and your baby.

amother

Scarlet

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 6:11 am

I breastfeed all my babies, but one of my sisters breastfeed her first two. She found that after birth she felt fine, but as the milk kicked in and she started nursing, she started feeling blah, and PPD followed, and did not lift until she weaned. She made the decision not to breastfeed her next child, and she never got PPD after that.

I fully support a woman's choice to feed her baby in any way she wants to, so long as love and nurturing comes along with the food. I encouraged my sister to try what worked for her, and would encourage my DD's to do the same.

amother

Ivory

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 6:22 am

Formula only here and couldn’t be more happier. 2nd baby Continues to grow and thrive on Formula and honestly no one else’s opinion matters asked from mine and my husbands (who fully supports my decision) ask me anything! I’ve never looked back!

amother

Royalblue

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 6:27 am

amother [ White ] wrote:

Excuse me, but this is EXACTLY what OP DOESN'T want to hear!! She wants chizzuk for NOT breastfeeding, she doesn't want to hear how bonding and special breastfeeding is. I've seen no difference in the bonding and closeness between my breastfeed and bottlefed babies. Breastfeeding doesn't make a world of a difference to the baby. Babies thrive beautifully on formula. The MOST important thing is for mom to do what works for her. You can bond very nicely while bottlefeeding.

Kiwi13

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 6:32 am

I felt pressured to breastfeed my first child and tried to do it against my better judgement. It was a horrible experience for me. The next time around I told my doctor that not only did I not want to breastfeed, I also didn’t want to be asked about it after birth, and I didn’t want any visits from lactation consultants. I also felt “on the fence” and guilty about depriving my babies of “the best” nutrition. Here’s the thing - even if there are benefits to breast milk over formula, the health (including mental health) of the mother is much more important. It took me longer to bond with my first baby because I dreaded feedings until I switched him to formula.

OP, you do what works for you. Please don’t let anybody pressure you to do what works for them. Enjoy your baby!!

Kiwi13

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 6:33 am

happy chick wrote:

Mazel tov!
Your baby, your life, your choice. No need to excuse yourself to anyone for anything that doesn't involve them.
Have some good comebacks ready for those who feel the need to voice their opinion to other.

FYI my comeback to “breast is best” was “full throttle bottle!” 😊

Odelyah

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 6:38 am

amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:

OP did say she was on the fence--I thought this was a very gently worded and caring post that may provide some helpful perspective for the OP. it's really not all or nothing. If OP is on the fence, why not keep an open mind and see how it goes rather than making a serious and unnecessary decision right now that she might end up regretting?

amother

White

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 6:41 am

amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:

Lol! It’s ok, royal blue. As I said I’m prepared for some tomato throwing. Hiding

I stand by what I said that it’s not all or nothing. And there is something very special about nursing that just cant be replicated. Obviously if a mom can’t do it then she shouldn’t. That should be the case no matter how special nursing is.
But if a mother is able to nurse they should realize that they are doing an amazing thing for their baby. And of course fed is best!

amother

Linen

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 6:42 am

Odelyah wrote:

Regret is a strong word. I doubt any sane mom would regret the method of feeding her baby.

amother

Brunette

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 6:44 am

I exclusively BOTTLE FED all 4 of my kids. I didn't think twice about it. I was a relaxed mother with a DH who was also involved in the feedings. I bond with my babies beautifully. My older kids actually make fun of me that I still hold my one yr old and feed her a bottle - she refuses to feed herself! (Just her milk, eats and drinks everything else just fine). She loves snuggling with me
My babies were well fed, slept through the night fairly early, and bh I was able to recover quickly without the added stress of nursing.
If you decide to do it, make sure you're confident in your decision. You're wellbeing is so important here and will affect everyone else around you, most definitely your baby

amother

Lavender

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 6:45 am

Do you want a list of pros and cons for bottle feeding? I can start.
This is what I saw with my own personal body.

Pros:
I shared my body for 9 months. I’m done.
PPD evaporated.
Any hormonal side effects went out the window.
We all slept.
Husband can do a night feeding.
Convenience.
It was easy to leave baby with babysitter.

Cons:
Period + mikvah.
It’s not free.

Good luck!