S/o high school girls therapy: social emotional learning

amother

Fri, Nov 13 2020, 8:14 am

I am the OP of this thread. I wanted to spin off here and discuss one specific post of mine, which was really the point of the whole previous thread (but kind of spun in a different direction due to my phraseology).

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Let me clarify a little more.

I called my principal because I think that social-emotional learning is so important in a school. I was not asking to get the social worker more involved. In the course of the conversation, it came out that he thinks a very small percentage of girls actually need help, so there's no reason to incorporate more SEL for those select few. I disagree with that viewpoint; even a girl who doesn't actually need therapy can benefit tremendously from SEL, especially since life circumstances later on often make those skills critically necessary.

(By the way, I have a kesher with him from high school, so it wasn't terribly strange for me to make that call and discuss this with him.)

From what I can tell, those who think that a minute percentage of a given high school class needs therapy just don't understand what is swept under the rug. The fact that a girl seems happy, sociable, popular, well-adjusted, etc. doesn't tell you a single thing. The fact that she got married at 19 and had 6 kids in the next 8 years doesn't speak to her marriage, her emotional state, etc.

Social-emotional learning is meant to be prevention. Refuah lifnei hamakah, so to speak. There are so many things that I learned in therapy as an adult that I look back to my high school years and wonder why I didn't learn them then. I'm talking about little things in interpersonal and intrapersonal relationships. I'm talking about small things in avodas Hashem, even. Parents can only impart to their children so much, especially nowadays when pressures are much more intense than they used to be.

What I am thinking of, specifically, is certain targeted DBT skills. Everyone could use guidance in the interpersonal and emotion regulation modules, specifically. They are universally helpful. In my opinion, taught to someone who is emotionally healthy, they can build an even deeper foundation for strong emotional health in the long term.

There are several programs out there to teach social-emotional learning (SEL) to a frum population. I don't know how many of you saw the Torah Umesorah convention presentation by Darcheinu, or have Darcheinu in your kids' schools. There are iHeart workshops, which are totally awesome. There's Middos and Mitzvos for younger kids. There are all sorts of programs. The question is if one thinks it's valuable or not. I do, but I imagine there will be some pushback. So let's discuss here.

BH Yom Yom

Fri, Nov 13 2020, 8:27 am

ITACA, OP!! Very often, the students who seem to have it all together on the surface are really struggling. That makes up far more than the minority of kids who may be visibly having difficulties. Even the kids who are not struggling in any clinically significant way can absolutely still benefit from building SEL skills. DBT skills are invaluable, and I wish I had learned them in elementary and high school. גירסא דינקותא is very powerful. Skills I was taught or picked up as a kid and young teen became much easier to integrate the skills I have had to learn as an adult.

amother

Ecru

Fri, Nov 13 2020, 8:33 am

I am amother aqua (one of the principals) on the other thread.

I believe in this tremendously. Besides for the value it has for students who are struggling during high school, I believe it sets an important foundation for the future.

I gave the example that halacha teachers say that some of what they are teaching is meant as an awareness that there could be an issue and there is a need to ask.

Learning social emotional language is crucial for understanding the world as it unfolds.

For schools that are more resistant, it does not have to be taught in an official or formal subject. There are so many places it can be "snuck into" once there is an awareness that these are important topics to discuss.

amother

Fri, Nov 13 2020, 9:43 am

amother [ Ecru ] wrote:

I agree 100%. I don't know how to get this message out, though. I really wish there was a way to get it into schools!

amother

Fri, Nov 13 2020, 9:43 am

BH Yom Yom wrote:

You said it very well. So then how to convince a resistant principal? And who could? It's so important...