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Does almost everyone hug all of their children?
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Nov 13 2020, 12:17 pm
Does almost everyone here hug all of their children? I know some kids do not like hugs. I personally do not. I usually pinch my kids cheeks, love patch them, tickle them. I'm curious what the consensus on a large, broad site with women from many backgrounds is.
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NotLazySusan




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 13 2020, 12:18 pm
I hope so
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srbmom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 13 2020, 12:19 pm
I hug all my kids multiple times a day, aside for my 13yo son who would never tolerate it Smile
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Fri, Nov 13 2020, 12:19 pm
None of my kids dislike hugs, so I hug all of them. If I had a child who disliked hugs I would respect that and ask that child what kind of physical affection he prefers.
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crust




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 13 2020, 12:20 pm
Yes
Do not like hugs is an issue
Love Potch is the most confusing message.
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allthingsblue




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 13 2020, 12:21 pm
Yes but as they get older I ask them permission first. " can mommy give you a big giant hug because I love you so much?"
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NotInNJMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 13 2020, 12:22 pm
I probably hug my kids less as they get into their teens because they like more boundaries, but I always make it a point to regularly tell them I love them.
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NotLazySusan




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 13 2020, 12:25 pm
NotInNJMommy wrote:
I probably hug my kids less as they get into their teens because they like more boundaries, but I always make it a point to regularly tell them I love them.


My 6 year old asked me “why do you tell me so many times that you love me? I didn’t forget.”
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jewishmom6




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 13 2020, 12:30 pm
I hug my kids all the time.
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bigsis144




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 13 2020, 12:30 pm
What is a “love potch”?
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NotInNJMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 13 2020, 12:37 pm
NotLazySusan wrote:
My 6 year old asked me “why do you tell me so many times that you love me? I didn’t forget.”


My parents stopped saying this so much when we got older (ie. teens), and then it was weird when they occasionally said it because we were teens. Also, obviously, physical affect waned as we got older too. I also know my parents have always loved me, but I realized in hindsight that I would have liked to hear it more.

So, I try to regularly say it with kavanna to them no matter their age.


Last edited by NotInNJMommy on Fri, Nov 13 2020, 12:41 pm; edited 1 time in total
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tigerwife




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 13 2020, 12:38 pm
bigsis144 wrote:
What is a “love potch”?


Sounds worse than Great-Aunt Myrna’s love-crushing cheek pinches!
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Nov 13 2020, 12:39 pm
bigsis144 wrote:
What is a “love potch”?


Patting your kid on the cheek or arm a few times.
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Rutabaga




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 13 2020, 12:40 pm
Personally I'd rather get a hug than a cheek pinch or a "love potch" (whatever that is).

I hug and kiss my younger kids. My oldest doesn't appreciate kisses and tolerates hugs, so I'm more likely to give a side hug than a full on hug and much more infrequently than I hug the younger kids. I try for smaller touches like a pat on the back or a shoulder squeeze or a quick touch on an arm.
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happy chick




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 13 2020, 1:05 pm
NotLazySusan wrote:
My 6 year old asked me “why do you tell me so many times that you love me? I didn’t forget.”


And that's exactly why we love them Very Happy
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dancingqueen




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 13 2020, 1:41 pm
Rutabaga wrote:
Personally I'd rather get a hug than a cheek pinch or a "love potch" (whatever that is).

I hug and kiss my younger kids. My oldest doesn't appreciate kisses and tolerates hugs, so I'm more likely to give a side hug than a full on hug and much more infrequently than I hug the younger kids. I try for smaller touches like a pat on the back or a shoulder squeeze or a quick touch on an arm.


Lol same.
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amother
Copper


 

Post Fri, Nov 13 2020, 1:46 pm
Do your kids prefer not to be hugged? My oldest needs hugs all the time doesn’t matter what age. I agree some stop hugging kids when they get older but they shdnt unless specifically asked not to. I hug and kiss my kids nightly.
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Kiwi13




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 13 2020, 1:53 pm
I offer tons of hugs but never force it. My kids all love hugs, but sometimes they say no thanks and I respect that. My SN child liked hugs only on his own terms, so we just roll with that.

It’s interesting, I’m really not a huggy kind of person, except for with my kids. I love snuggling and hugging them. :-)
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 14 2020, 11:52 am
I am a very affectionate and huggy person. I will never say no to a hug from a child! (Mine, or whoever I'm babysitting.) I never force hugs, or even hint.

As DD got older, I slowed down on saying "I love you" so much, but started saying "You worked really hard", "I'm proud of you", and things like that. As she is becoming an adult, she needs to know that I recognize when she struggles and things don't come easily to her. She needs to know that I believe in her competence, and have faith in her to do the right thing. Too much praise makes her feel really awkward, and makes her want to withdraw.

She's in the "don't touch me!" phase, but I don't take it personally.

Kids are like cats. When they are little, they want to be in your lap 24/7, sleep in your bed, and follow you everywhere. When they are growing up, they want to play all the time, and destroy the house. They are usually up half the night playing, while you are trying to get some sleep.

When they are teenagers, they hiss at you if they are in a bad mood, but then they want your attention. As soon as you try to pet them, they run away and hide in their room. They mainly come out of their room when they want to be fed. LOL
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Teomima




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 14 2020, 2:35 pm
I wouldn't force hugs but so far they all love hugs, kisses, and snuggles, and I love giving them out.
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