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Would you make a fuss about it?
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amother




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Post  Tue, Nov 17 2020, 10:46 am
Mommyg8 wrote:
We can agree to disagree. I've given in a few times over the years and my kids seemed to have turned out fine Smile .


Right. We all have our point of view.
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avrahamama




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Nov 17 2020, 10:52 am
Last night I didn't let my son make iced that he wanted to make. He's 11t. My 5 yr old said "just do it anyway! And then let imma yell at you" lol

BH he didn't take his little brothers advice. But he had a good laugh about it (so did I). He also knew I'd have no problem throwing out his ices if he did it without my permission.

Even if you do back down or "look weak" every once in a while he's 6 you can find a way to make up for it.

It's shabbos shoes on RH. I'd let it go.

On the other hand. I've dumped and tossed treats they helped themselves to. Or confiscated toys they tried to bring to school.

But Shabbos shoes on RH I'd let myself "lose" for.
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nchr




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Nov 17 2020, 11:04 am
Here is an example of an area where I'd allow my child to do something I don't love and go to cheder with the Shabbos shoes. However, if I already said no, then he'd have to take them off.
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amother




Mauve
 

Post  Tue, Nov 17 2020, 11:07 am
avrahamama wrote:
Last night I didn't let my son make iced that he wanted to make. He's 11t. My 5 yr old said "just do it anyway! And then let imma yell at you" lol

BH he didn't take his little brothers advice. But he had a good laugh about it (so did I). He also knew I'd have no problem throwing out his ices if he did it without my permission.

Even if you do back down or "look weak" every once in a while he's 6 you can find a way to make up for it.

It's shabbos shoes on RH. I'd let it go.

On the other hand. I've dumped and tossed treats they helped themselves to. Or confiscated toys they tried to bring to school.

But Shabbos shoes on RH I'd let myself "lose" for.


Instead of dumping food, maybe put it away for later?
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avrahamama




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Nov 17 2020, 11:08 am
amother [ Mauve ] wrote:
Instead of dumping food, maybe put it away for later?


I don't call milk munch bars food lol

ETA: hope I didn't sound snarky. If it were something more substantial I'd put it away.
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amother




Scarlet
 

Post  Tue, Nov 17 2020, 11:19 am
nchr wrote:
Here is an example of an area where I'd allow my child to do something I don't love and go to cheder with the Shabbos shoes. However, if I already said no, then he'd have to take them off.


How? You'd force him down, remove the shoes, put on the weekday shoes, and put him on the bus?
OP said the child was tantrumming.

At that point, I would create a way for me down. Model flexibility. Pretend that I just noticed a text from Totty that he sent 2 hours ago that said Shabbos shoes, but I didn't know. So we listen to Totty.
I'd deal with the tantrumming when he was calm.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Nov 17 2020, 11:25 am
amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:
How? You'd force him down, remove the shoes, put on the weekday shoes, and put him on the bus?
OP said the child was tantrumming.

At that point, I would create a way for me down. Model flexibility. Pretend that I just noticed a text from Totty that he sent 2 hours ago that said Shabbos shoes, but I didn't know. So we listen to Totty.
I'd deal with the tantrumming when he was calm.


I love that! LOL

Deescalating is a fine art form. As soon as things start to escalate, you start to lose.

Some days you have to pick and choose your power struggles.
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ShishKabob




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Nov 17 2020, 11:25 am
Mommyg8 wrote:
Thumbs Up

Imasinger, I love every one of your posts.
# Me Too! Smile
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Just One




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Nov 17 2020, 11:41 am
Ema of 4 wrote:
In the first place I would allow it, but once I said no, I would stick to it, like aqua said.

Me too
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Just One




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Nov 17 2020, 11:44 am
amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:
How? You'd force him down, remove the shoes, put on the weekday shoes, and put him on the bus?
OP said the child was tantrumming.

At that point, I would create a way for me down. Model flexibility. Pretend that I just noticed a text from Totty that he sent 2 hours ago that said Shabbos shoes, but I didn't know. So we listen to Totty.
I'd deal with the tantrumming when he was calm.

My kids would see through that and it's setting a bad precedent.
That's not to say I've never taken the easy way out but just know it's not ideal
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