My toddler won't get dressed

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amother

Wed, Nov 18 2020, 10:59 am

I have a BH very stuborn independent 22 month old. She only wants to wear balloon PJ's and we only have one which has to get washed after usage and has to dry etc etc.
So every night is a fight and every morning is a fight to get dressed. I try offer her choices of what she wants to wear but she doesn't understand that yet. She won't lie stil and will scream and fight everything I do. Dressing her on the couch, floor, my bed, her cot and on her changing mat all get the same resistance.
I try offer that she does it herself but that doesn't work either.

I don't think it's a tactil sensory problem.
I know some people dress their kids for gan at night but her nappy often leaks and she pours her cereal all the way down her front so that won't work

She also doesn't like having her nails cut and washing her hair not let's me brush her teeth- she needs to do it herself. ( Also something I dunno what to do)

Happy to hear other suggestions.
I think my husband manages to dress her better then I do.

Thanx

amother

Dodgerblue

Wed, Nov 18 2020, 11:02 am

In the same boat with a 2.5 year old. I try a lot of distraction has sometimes have no choice but to forcefully get him dressed.

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Nov 18 2020, 11:07 am

I had a friend who had a son who wore ps for a year or two, straight.
I think at that age, just buy more pjs so that you dont have to wash them so often and dont worry about it. At that age its really ok for them to wear pjs all of the time and its ujst not worth the argument.
Thats just my opinion.
They grow out of wanting to wear them after a while.

amother

Lavender

Wed, Nov 18 2020, 11:09 am

OOC what are balloon pjs?

amother

Wed, Nov 18 2020, 11:11 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

I've got OCD tendencies and so she needs to bath daily and change clothes daily . Plus she gets really dirty really quickly so it wouldn't work for me

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Nov 18 2020, 11:16 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I've got OCD tendencies and so she needs to bath daily and change clothes daily . Plus she gets really dirty really quickly so it wouldn't work for me

So like I said, buy a few of the exact same pjs and problem is solved.

amother

Wed, Nov 18 2020, 11:20 am

amother [ Lavender ] wrote:

OOC what are balloon pjs?

PJ's that have circles on them and apparently they are called baloon PJ's.

I have no idea where I got this one from

I've tried to tell her that another PJ's that have circles are baloon PJ's but she is not interested in those ones

amother

cornflower

Wed, Nov 18 2020, 11:40 am

I also have a veryy opinionated dd the same age when it comes to clothing. Maybe it would be a good idea to take her to a store with you that has cute pjs like old navy or target and show her pjs. My daughter happens to love new things even hand me downs but she's very specific in what she likes so I let her choose. She also loves getting herself dressed in the morning and choosing what to wear. I pick her up and let her choose, again it can't be boring. she likes different colors or flowers or something new. I let her put it on herself which she basically can do after practicing for a while and asks me for help when she needs. If I ever make the choice for her she won't get dressed so easily!

FranticFrummie

Wed, Nov 18 2020, 11:54 am

My DD was super sensory. What worked for us, was to put her clothes in the dryer for a couple of minutes, while she was waking up. She knew that if she delayed getting dressed her clothes would get cold, and that I wouldn't warm them up again.

She wanted the warm, snuggly clothes so much that she would jump out of bed and dive into them. This even worked with school uniforms, which she usually hated. We had to do this for several years, until she got more regulated with her clothes issues.

In the meantime, find the softest, snuggliest clothes you can for your DD. Put her PJs in the wash, and have her wear something that is even more comfortable. She will tantrum because she wants the balloon ones, but you have to stand firm on this.

Sometimes things need to get washed, and you can't let a 2yo run your life! She'll figure it out eventually, she's a lot smarter than you're giving her credit for.

behappy2

Wed, Nov 18 2020, 11:59 am

amother [ cornflower ] wrote:

My daughter is older but I do remember on multiple occasions bringing her to playgroup in pjs.

I love the idea of having her choose new pjs. Involve her. My daughter picked out lots of clothes too. It's a phase and will pass. Btw I think pjs are just more comfy and I think they know they are asserting themselves and being contrary Smile

amother

Slategray

Wed, Nov 18 2020, 12:01 pm

I win for stubborn kids! I love FF idea to have hot snuggly clothes from the dryer. Wish my fairy godmother would do that for me, too!

What works is the make a game out of it. I have this whole routine where the clothes are talking and fighting over who gets to get on her body first. And I’m the mommy and I get to “stop” the clothes from behaving badly and I organize who goes on first. Complete with fake crying when one sock goes on before the other.

It negates the power struggle and makes things silly and not intense, and she smiles and allows herself to be dressed.

I also buy the softest easiest clothes.

tichellady

Wed, Nov 18 2020, 12:11 pm

Do the hokey pokey we’re getting dressed and that usually does and well. If not , I validate her feelings even while saying that she does need to get dressed And dressing her Against her will

FranticFrummie

Wed, Nov 18 2020, 12:41 pm

amother [ Slategray ] wrote:

Oh my gosh, that is hysterical, I love it! LOL

DD can be very cranky in the morning, so I would wake her up very gently, put the clothes in the dryer, and then wake her up again 5 minutes later. This made the transition so much easier.

She's not a night owl, she's a morning honey badger! Twisted Evil

amother

Wed, Nov 18 2020, 12:56 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

Oh my gosh, that is hysterical, I love it! LOL

I wish I had a dryer to do that. Maybe one day

I usually tell her about what she is going to do that day/ about her blankie waiting for her in bed .
I think I might try the hokey pokey with her

amother

Gold

Wed, Nov 18 2020, 1:19 pm

Slate grey I love your idea!!!

OP I’m going to follow this thread.

amother

Saddlebrown

Wed, Nov 18 2020, 1:36 pm

Following! My 2 year old refuses to get dressed in a regular basis. Everyone recommends giving choices and talking socks/silly stuff, but that doesn't work for us--she doesn't care, she'll just play in her PJs/diaper or have a tantrum. Sometimes setting a timer for 2 min and "racing" it works. The rule is she has to be dressed for going outside and for lunch, so often those things motivate her. But sometimes it's just hard! I try to keep my patience and do other things I have to get done so I don't get into a pointless power struggle. This is an area where the typical gentle parenting suggestions don't really work for me.