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Two low confident and shy and anxious parents

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Nov 19 2020, 7:54 pm
Will their children certainly also be shy and not confident ? Is there anything to do to help those children be strong and confident?
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amother




Powderblue
 

Post  Thu, Nov 19 2020, 7:59 pm
It's not certain at all, since genetics come from more places than just mom and dad, and mom and dad can get help if they want to, but I wouldnt make a shidduch like this.
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Nov 19 2020, 8:01 pm
The parents should relate anecdotes about the times they were assertive, stood up for themselves,
and how it made the situation better. Or at least they felt better that they expressed themselves.

Read stories about kids/people who show courage, are assertive.

Allow children to make decisions about what to wear (maybe limit choice to 2 outfits),
what to do first (supper or bath) etc.

Ask child's opinion when buying clothing/shoes.

Also "shmooz" with children - show interest in what they have to say.

Praise effort - not results. Don't say you got 90%, you are so smart.
Say you got 90% you worked hard.

Teach kids to do chores, how to cook, sew and any talent so they feel accomplished.
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Nov 19 2020, 8:11 pm
Parents should be careful not to express their anxiety and fear out loud.

Let them "fake" being calm and confident.

If they have anxiety they should share it with their friend or therapist - not their children.
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amother




Violet
 

Post  Thu, Nov 19 2020, 8:33 pm
Can connections be formed with extended family members or close friends who are more confident?
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amother




Mint
 

Post  Fri, Nov 20 2020, 12:54 am
Me and DH are both pretty quiet/shy, some of our kids are VERY outgoing, some are quiet and shy also.

We do talk about pushing ourselves past our comfort zones to do the right thing, so that might have something to do with it. I also tell them that they will get more comfortable talking to people by doing it more.
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amother




Jetblack
 

Post  Fri, Nov 20 2020, 2:11 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Will their children certainly also be shy and not confident ? Is there anything to do to help those children be strong and confident?


I don't think so. I think was like that and I have a child with a very determined character. There was no persuading her. At some point in a conversation with a friend I blurted out: She is psychologically stronger than me.
And a friend said It just cannot be, you've got to be stronger.

So I mastered up thr courage and started saying no to a bowl of cornflakes every night at 2 a.m. My 2 y.o. finally learned not to wake up for that...
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