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-> Vacation and Traveling
willow
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Wed, Feb 27 2008, 5:40 am
Here is my dilemma.
My dh and I over Pesach vacation will be taking advantage of some vouchers we got to visit my grandparents in Florida.
My question that has me doubting has no right or wrong solution.
But I thought maybe by posting someone will come up with something I didn't think of.
Here are the points to consider:
1- We'd like to go for 4 days ideally just me and dh. My mother is thrilled to have my dd
2- I am still currently nursing and although she is over 2 I still nurse 3-4 times a day. If I would go for so long I would have to wean. I love nursing her and obviously so does she.
3- I have never ever left her before except for a few hours. 4 days is a lot to leave her with people she doesn't really know. She is a very confident, social and friendly girl but she hasn't seen these ppl for 6 months. (she does rec. them from pictures and she talks to my mother every day on the phone.
4- I could bring her with us and my grandparents would be thrilled. But then that doesn't give my dh and I a real vacation because we would have to make it dd centered.
5- I know there is no perfect scenario. because if we go without her I'll be so nervous all the time wondering if she is alright.
6- If we go without her and I wean and its not the best time (for whatever reason I.e getting sick) I'll have the conseqence weighing on me that I weaned her for what?
O.k so not what
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suomynona
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Wed, Feb 27 2008, 5:54 am
so you want to have your cake and eat it too
First of all, if you go, wait 'til your daughter has a chance to get to know your mother. Wait 'til after pesach to go so she already feels comfortable. Maybe test it out and have your mother put her to sleep and take care of her in the morning while you're not there, and see if she misses you.
I'm not nursing my 2 year old, but I'm in the same kind of situation where my son has never been away from us because we don't live near family. He's also extremely outgoing and friendly - not the attached type at all. But still, he has never been away from us.
About the nursing - you have to decide how badly you want to continue, that's all. And how soon are you likely to wean if you don't go? If it's only gonna be another month or 2, it won't make that much of a difference if you wean her now.
Can you go to Florida with your daughter, and then go on a 2 day/1 night vacation without her? You probably could still continue nursing that way.
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willow
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Wed, Feb 27 2008, 6:03 am
six views and a reply. Yeah! Thanx suomynona. You are 100% correct. I have this fantasy vacation in my head with a lot of hitches in reality.
I can not go after Pesach b/c my dh wants to be back right away and anyways our tickets for America or solid.
I do have to think long and hard about how long I am going to nurse. I guess I thought eventually she will lead the weaning (and she has from from 5-6 to 3-4 but I guess she isn't.
Your last point is great. Maybe take her and let it be a whole grandparents nachas trip. And then maybe take two day trips just the two of us. Hmm have to think.
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suomynona
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Wed, Feb 27 2008, 6:26 am
I think that's what I would do if I were in your situation.
I really can relate to your situation even though I don't nurse my older one. But if I would, I'd feel the same way.
I personally don't think I'd take a vacation without my son at this point in my life for many reasons. If I would live in America and my son was used to staying at my family, I would probably feel differently. And this is a kid who loves meeting new people and probably wouldn't even notice that we're gone. But I guess I'm not one to talk since my husband and I are stick in the muds and my son is the life of the party. So there would be no point in going without him There's nothing we're dying to do that would be better without him around.
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catonmylap
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Wed, Feb 27 2008, 7:03 am
I say to take her with you. I wouldn't be able to go through that separation.
My ds is almost a year , and on our very recent trip to NY, I couldn't leave him with a babysitter and go to shul on shabbos(no eruv) because I didn't want him to be so traumatized in an unfamiliar place. The first few days there he cried everytime I left his sight.
I also work so I found I really wanted to spend a lot of time with ds on vacation.
It seems to me that it would be a good opportunity to wean if you are/were ready for it.
I think it's also important to let your grandparents see your dd. Are they still capable of babysitting? Maybe you can still go out at night after your dd is sleeping?
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su7kids
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Wed, Feb 27 2008, 7:34 am
Maybe you can find out if there is someone in Florida who could babysit for you, and while you're with your dd during the day, you and DH can get the evenings off when she goes to sleep, and go out to a restaurant or do some adult things.
Nachus for your grandparents is way more important than a vacation for you a dh. You never know how long people are on this earth and every drop of nachus you can give them is better for everyone.
This way you also don't have to make a decision about the nursing until you're ready.
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suomynona
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Wed, Feb 27 2008, 8:15 am
tip with the jet lag. The last 2 times I went to America, I start putting my son to bed later every night starting from a week before. That eliminated the jet lag by more than 1/2 which made a huge difference.
I don't know if I'll do it again this year because now I work nights and I have 2 kids.
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jemappelle
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Wed, Feb 27 2008, 5:34 pm
In terms of weaning- what about pumping and storing milk for the days that you are away, and then continuing to pump while you are on vacation?
(I'm a big talker - the time I was away from my son was when I was in the hospital giving birth to my second!)
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kitchen designer
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Wed, Feb 27 2008, 6:55 pm
I went on a 4 day vacation and left my 20 mo old who was still nursing 2x a day. He didn't really need it so I didn't leave any milk for him, but while I was gone I pumped 2x a day so that I could continue when I got back.
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willow
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Thu, Feb 28 2008, 2:52 am
I def am not pumping. I can't pump and I have horrible memories of trying to do so. Maybe the next kid but for this one I'd rather just stop.
Thanx though:)
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willow
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Sun, Mar 02 2008, 4:37 pm
BUMP.... Bump... I don't know what to do. I know its not life and death, change your life importance but it is causing me stress because I hate being in indecision. I just want to make our tickets and let it go.
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willow
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Tue, Mar 04 2008, 12:33 pm
So since we can't decide we are thinking of nixing the whole idea. Maybe we'll fly somewhere where we'd spend less time.
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ChavieK
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Tue, Mar 04 2008, 1:36 pm
Someone else mentioned taking her with you & the 2 of you going away for 1 night alone. If grandparents can't handle 2 yr old get a babysitter to help them with the physical stuff like bath. Have you ever left her with a baby sitter before? If she isn't used to that then make sure you are around for an hour or so. If the sitter will get down on the floor & play with her she'll be ok. Most 2 yr old are happy when a teenager plays with them with full attention. Don't make your night alone the first night you get to Fl. Let dd get used to grandparents too. This is the best win-win scenario. You won't have to wean, you won't have to leave her for too long, you will get some alone time with dh (more than if the 2 of you just went cause then you wouldn't have excuse to leave g-parents for the night) & best of all they get to see great-grandchild!
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