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LovesHashem
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Sat, Nov 21 2020, 10:28 am
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That's part of being a mother.
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essie14
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Sat, Nov 21 2020, 10:36 am
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | My oldest is 10 so never thought about teens. I still wrestle with my 10 year old, play hide and seek, jump on the bed with him.
Lots of things could be play. Hiking, tag, ball, anything that makes everyone lose their facade and connect.
So I would say yes. |
Teens need this as well. We play board games, basketball, go hiking, etc. with our teens. A lot of discussions can take place during those activities. My kids love when we play board games on Friday night with them.
It's a nice relaxing way to spend time together.
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FranticFrummie
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Sat, Nov 21 2020, 1:18 pm
When DD was 10, she discovered Minecraft. Since there's only one computer in the house, and I wasn't going to let her go on a public game board alone, I sat with her and watched her play.
It was fascinating! We build all kinds of things together, played games, and she made friends. I got to know the kids she was playing with, and when I felt safe I let her Skype with them while she was playing. Then I could see the kids, and they could see that I was there, and everything was appropriate.
The kids got to know me, and started calling me "Mom". It was so sweet! These kids came from all over the world, so DD got to experience many different cultures as well. Her best friend is in Sweden, and her other best friend is a Mormon girl who lives in Utah. 7 years later, they outgrew the games, but they are still very close friends, and they talk online at least once a week.
I am so glad that I stayed by her side and was included in this stage of her life. She saw that she could make friends and that I wouldn't judge them, and that I could be genuinely interested in the same things that she was.
I really love Minecraft because it builds hand/eye coordination, math skills, spatial reasoning, as well as spelling, grammar, and social skills. Watching her make huge gains from this was amazing (and she didn't even realize that it was educational!  )
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Just One
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Sat, Nov 21 2020, 8:11 pm
Spending positive quality time with kids is very important. Just don't get hung up on the playing part. I personally hate board games and doing crafts. For years I felt guilty for depriving my kids and when I did force myself it didn't do anybody much good.
However I do love reading to them, cuddling, shmoozing on the couch, singing and dancing together
Realizing that the main thing was the quality of time we spent together and not the specific activities made me a happier more present parent
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amother
OP
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Sat, Nov 21 2020, 9:07 pm
| Just One wrote: | Spending positive quality time with kids is very important. Just don't get hung up on the playing part. I personally hate board games and doing crafts. For years I felt guilty for depriving my kids and when I did force myself it didn't do anybody much good.
However I do love reading to them, cuddling, shmoozing on the couch, singing and dancing together
Realizing that the main thing was the quality of time we spent together and not the specific activities made me a happier more present parent |
Board games is really not ideal play. Ideal play IS cuddling, singing and dancing! A big purpose of play is bonding.
I think we need to redefine play. Play is bonding in a way that is fun, that is emotional, that is authentic.
Play is a big part of child therapy and every parent can harness play to mend relationships, to help children deal with big stuff, to teach children self control.
During play we let out guard down and we let out inner child out.
For me personally I started loving my kids a lot more. It actually helped ME feel more connected to them.
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amother
OP
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Sat, Nov 21 2020, 10:02 pm
| amother [ Indigo ] wrote: | I am the most uncreative un-spontaneous straight laced person you'll meet. I am not fun. I have no imagination. The way I bond with my kids is reading books, board games, listening to their jokes, sitting next to them as they build with lego (I can't help because like I said I don't have the ability).
We have no room to jump around together... and we can't do hikes at our family's stage in life, nor do we have room for a basketball hoop. I think I am doing my best. |
Why not try one or two of these?
For starters peek a boo for babies, hide and seek from age 2 and up, tag, making pictures on each others backs, putting your child between your legs 'so that they can't get away' until they do..., rolling them in blankets and making hot dog sandwiches, rides.
Hey, you might actually enjoy it!
This isn't meant to make you feel guilty just bring awareness. It's not that kids won't be ok, it's just a really great gift to you and your kids.
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amother
Indigo
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Sat, Nov 21 2020, 10:04 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | Why not try one or two of these?
For starters peek a boo for babies, hide and seek from age 2 and up, tag, making pictures on each others backs, putting your child between your legs 'so that they can't get away' until they do..., rolling them in blankets and making hot dog sandwiches, rides.
Hey, you might actually enjoy it!
This isn't meant to make you feel guilty just bring awareness. It's not that kids won't be ok, it's just a really great gift to you and your kids. |
Some of these I do and the rest I will screenshot, they are great ideas!
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