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How do I STOP THE KVETCHING?!?

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Nov 22 2020, 1:51 pm
My DD is 7 years old, a happy go lucky kid by nature. Lately though, the kvetching and moping is NON STOP! It’s driving me crazy! And she’s very very jealous of her 3 year old sister.... no matter how much love and attention and one on one time I give her...please give me suggestions!
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gamzehyaavor




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Nov 22 2020, 3:16 pm
Get a throat culture
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amother




Goldenrod
 

Post  Sun, Nov 22 2020, 3:21 pm
How's she doing in school? Maybe she's acting out at home.
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amother




Cobalt
 

Post  Sun, Nov 22 2020, 5:51 pm
Its so personal, but how I'd handle it, my style myself as a mother, is 1- when finding a moment of good rapport, have a genuine conversation about it. Not coming on too strong like "I'm here to teach you", but a conversation, "why do you think people shouldn't complain a lot?"

2- I like the Nurtured Heart Approach, even if not formally, just pointing out really attentively when they're not complaining "I'm noticing how beautiful your middos are. it's so mature of you. It's so nice to be around you..." or whatever language makes sense to you guys.
Plus, Not giving negative attention/not energizing their complaining. & if it's really an issue, maybe having a clear, non dramatic, simple consequence set up. A chart with a reward system for speaking nicely, & maybe if there's complaining (if it's really clear to the child what that parameter means) then a small consequence (If consequences are too big, kids often miss the point and are just resentful)
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Nov 22 2020, 6:24 pm
Thanks all. Just had PTA and spoke about it with her teachers, they were genuinely shocked. She’s a model student, fun and popular and has a ton of friends.
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gamzehyaavor




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Nov 22 2020, 6:55 pm
gamzehyaavor wrote:
Get a throat culture

Quoting myself here because I’m serious about it. If she’s a generally well behaved child and only lately that she’s acting kvetchy then rule out strep. In this house it’s the biggest symptom. Unless of course there are other things going in, including stress from school, friends etc and she’s releasing it at home.
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