When does it get easier?! I’m drowning

amother

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 5:40 pm

My twins are 3 months hold. Adorable beyond and I love them dearly. They are taking everything out of me right now and I’m nonstop caring for them. One of them is “colicky” and wants to be held every waking minute in specific ways. We have help but even with the help - it’s nonstop!
Does it get easier? Harder? Help!

amother

Slateblue

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 6:04 pm

It should get easier now.. But I can't totally relate cuz my kids werent colicky. After 3-4 months when the kids start having a schedule it definitely gets easier. But now that my kids are 3 I feel that it really is easier. But there's a lot of treading in the deep water till u get there.

If possible take more help. Thats the only way u can survive.

Loads of hatzlacha

TwinsMommy

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 6:06 pm

I made sure to force mine onto the same schedule. I woke a sleeping baby to eat. EVERY night. I don't regret it. When the boy screamed his head off to eat at 3:00 am, I woke up the girlie whether she liked it or not--- THIS was feeding time. I (ALMOST) never fed one without feeding the other--- that way I could have a tiny break before diapers and feedings again. Yes, they are each individuals, but when all diapers and all feedings at night come back to YOU and YOU also need some sleep, don't worry about treating them as individuals and letting one wake up gently on her own time.

They're teens now and sleep like crazy--- lots of napping---- I'm sure it's not because of sleep they missed as babies- right? Smile

amother

Slategray

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 6:17 pm

I nursed my twins.

I was also drowning at this stage. I think it got easier at about 5-6 months when they were more entertainable with objects or food. We didn't have help, but mine weren't colicky, just typical babies who needed lots of holding and nursing.

Just take a lot of pictures, you'll survive and be glad you have the good memories! (I have a lot of pics of both of mine crying also Tongue Out

)

amother

Slateblue

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 6:25 pm

amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:

Did any of you nurse? I’m having twins and I’m wondering if it possible. Op good luck. Sound like my nightmares.

Its very possible. Ive heard of lots of ppl that nursed their twins. I didnt. I gave up at 6 weeks..I couldn't decide what to do regarding bc and I felt I wasnt a normal mother to my other kids. It all depends on your circumstances.

Bshaa tova
Loads of hatzlacha..
Try to pile up on some $ for help. It's very important.

amother

Seashell

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 6:28 pm

I nursed but mostly pumped. Was in grad school. Made it till about 13 months. Beginning was sheer exhaustion but it did get much easier I would say about 5 months or so like someone else posted.

amother

Red

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 6:47 pm

Someone told my husband it gets easier at 3 months and then again at 6 months. I found that to be true. At 3 months, they fell into a schedule. At 6 months, the floor became interesting.

Good luck! Take any help that is offered and ask if it isn't offered and hire if you need more. Bikur cholim gave us money for cleaning help and another local organization sent someone once a week to help. I ended up hiring that lady to come more often. My parents paid for the formula and helped a lot overall. Bh, it passes.

amother

Apricot

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 6:56 pm

amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:

Did any of you nurse? I’m having twins and I’m wondering if it possible. Op good luck. Sound like my nightmares.

I only nursed my twins, no bottles. I weaned them around their second birthday although they def could have nursed longer lol. For me it was easier to nurse them at the same time vs hold them both and feed bottles at the same time. But if it is something that would add stress don't do it. For me bottle feeding them would have been more stressful. You need to do whatever works best for you and your family.

amother

Apricot

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 6:58 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Hard to remember, its kind of a blur lol but I think things started settling down around four months once they started sleeping a little longer and were on more of a schedule. It does get easier and its so amazing and beautiful to raise twins and watch as they grow and interact with each other. my twins have a special bond even though they are still little. its very precious bH.

amother

Powderblue

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 7:00 pm

No advise but this thread is causing me slight panic.
Im expecting twins and will not be getting any help.
Family or hired.
No family help cuz of circumstances. No hired help because of my husbands avid refusal for hiring help even thou we can very much afford it. Banging head

amother

Apricot

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 7:02 pm

amother [ Powderblue ] wrote:

Can your husband help? my husband took off a few weeks of work to help out.
Also, he might change his mind shortly after the twins arrive home Wink

amother

Gray

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 7:22 pm

My sis has twins. She exclusively breastfed for 12 months and continued nursing in combination with real food. She had a nurse for the first 8 weeks which helped her get back to herself after their delivery (a C-section) but after that she was mostly on her own. I sent her supper once a week. My mother went over in the morning to help send off her older one to school so she could stay in bed if the babies allowed her. Honestly IDK how she managed cuz I wouldn't have. Her DH had just started a new job and was not available to help much. On her twins' first birthday, I took her out for lunch and pedicures to celebrate that she survived the year mentally intact. Smile

amother

Slateblue

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 7:32 pm

amother [ Gray ] wrote:

You're sucha sweet sister. Its a huge milestone.. Make sure to celebrate again after she potty trains them. I trained my twins last year in January, I told my dh that after pesach were celebrating.. Then covid came. And the rest is history.. Bh they use the toilet on their own.. Life is definitely falling into place bh..

Op life is gonna settle. I promise.. Its adorable.. Im in love w them. The way they discuss their friends.. Im nuts over them. Give it some time and lots of chocolate and ice cream.

amother

Goldenrod

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 7:33 pm

amother [ Powderblue ] wrote:

No advise but this thread is causing me slight panic.
Im expecting twins and will not be getting any help.
Family or hired.
No family help cuz of circumstances.

Quote:

No hired help because of my husbands avid refusal for hiring help even thou we can very much afford it.

Unless your DH is willing to put in a LOT of time dealing with the babies needs so that you can rest, I would start looking into agencies that offer help, because he has no idea how hard it will be and I assume will change his mind quickly .

amother

Slategray

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 7:56 pm

amother [ Powderblue ] wrote:

I don't know if this will help, but here's a post on another thread about surviving with twins: https://www.imamother.com/foru.....18941

amother

Forestgreen

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 8:16 pm

If he doesnt want his wife falling apart he will most definitely change his mind.... My twins are a couple of months old and I do have help. however the days that I didn't for whatever reason we're complete chaos and utter exhaustion. I have no idea how pple manage without any outside help

amother

Forestgreen

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 8:19 pm

Op, it does get easier as they fall into a schedule. I found that being extremely good about sticking to the schedule really helped. Try to sleep train as soon as you can based on your circumstance. Having a decent night will be a huge breather

amother

Gray

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 8:43 pm

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

Oh we celebrated plenty since then; they're already in school Smile

And yes to the chocolate and ice cream, or in my sister's case it was slushies and ice cream. At some point she said she needed a special treat daily when they were in bed for the night, to acknowledge surviving another day.