I feel like my DD is acting so immature

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

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amother

Mon, Nov 23 2020, 9:08 pm

I really feel like losing it these days the way DD 6 years old is acting. she is in first grade. More recently she is soo difficult. she cries hysterically about her tights not fitting her right. gets frustrated when I dont' make her hair properly, answers me very disrespectfully, mean to her siblings etc.

she really is a good kid. she can be very mature in certain situations. loves to help me and will really do a good job at whatever she asked to help with. and I always make her feel good about it. compliment her alot...

in general I try to show her lots of affection, positive reinforcemnet and gently revisiting or explaining what she had done wrong in a nice pleasant way after the episode has past.

but these days she's just impossible! constantly acting out and not behaving and answering me back and talking not nicely, being mean to her siblings and just acting so immature in certain ways.

she's doing very well with her schoolwork and seems like she's doing fine socially as well. so I dont' know whats causing this.

any tips or ideas? I lost it with her this evening and yelled at her during bedtime Crying

amother

Coffee

Mon, Nov 23 2020, 9:12 pm

Six is young. How mature does she need to be? She sounds like a great kid who is maybe just going through something difficult. Maybe something going on at home or with a friend is effecting her. Or just dealing with all the life changes from COVID. Who knows. Talk to her. You want her to be mature? So you be mature and talk it out with her. Ask her about her feelings, not her behavior.

amother

Navy

Mon, Nov 23 2020, 9:15 pm

Check for strep

amother

Plum

Mon, Nov 23 2020, 9:16 pm

I'm guessing she's your oldest?

amother

Mon, Nov 23 2020, 9:17 pm

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

I guess immature is the wrong word.

I have other kids so I know whats in the realm of 'normal'. the way shes acting up/out is more than typical

amother

Mon, Nov 23 2020, 9:18 pm

amother [ Navy ] wrote:

Check for strep

really? why?

amother

Mon, Nov 23 2020, 9:19 pm

amother [ Plum ] wrote:

I'm guessing she's your oldest?

oldest girl. but why do you think that?

amother

Coral

Mon, Nov 23 2020, 9:22 pm

amother [ Plum ] wrote:

I'm guessing she's your oldest?

My thoughts exactly Plum. She’s 6 - she probably is exhausted from school. First grade is where they work harder! She probably behaves great at school and saves the tiredness for home.

Just ignore what you can.

amother

Plum

Mon, Nov 23 2020, 9:31 pm

We tend to be hard on the oldest daughter.

What you have to remember is that six is really, really young and she'll eventually outgrow any exasperating behavior that's making you plotz right now. But what you won't forgive yourself for is if you take her too seriously, put yourself in a tizzy, and get into a habit of lashing out at her. Take a deep breath. Close your eyes and visualize her at 2 or 3 and pretend she's still that age. Love her, hug her, laugh with her, don't take it all to heart.

And...I am realizing now. Six means she started first grade, right? That is a huge, huge adjustment. Take that into consideration as well.

ExtraCredit

Mon, Nov 23 2020, 9:34 pm

amother [ Navy ] wrote:

Check for strep

I second this. First symptom of strep in my kids is acting out of character.

Stars

Mon, Nov 23 2020, 9:55 pm

Check for strep

amother

Jade

Tue, Nov 24 2020, 7:58 am

let her take off her tights when she comes home. Smile

I'm serious. Sometimes when you're uncomfortable, and its the end of a long day at school. something that irritates can just make one more moody.

amother

Rose

Tue, Nov 24 2020, 9:15 am

Let her be a kid. When she gets frustrated about her hair, empathize. Don't let her stress go into you personally. I'm sure you know what if feels like when you're getting ready for a wedding and your wig is just not working out. That's the stress she is feeling so just be calm and empathize with her. Don't put so much pressure on her childhood. A parenting mentor could be helpful.

amother

Navy

Tue, Nov 24 2020, 9:20 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

really? why?

because strep can cause behavioral changes in kids

amother

Periwinkle

Tue, Nov 24 2020, 9:25 am

ExtraCredit wrote:

I second this. First symptom of strep in my kids is acting out of character.

And here I thght my kids are the only ones. They literally turn into different beings.
I second you rule it out too.

shmosmom

Tue, Nov 24 2020, 9:32 am

I find this age, especially in girls, the hardest. First and second grade. They're done being a little kid, but they're not quite mature enough to be a big kid. It's kind of like teen years when you're not a child and not an adult, but in a younger version.

penguin

Tue, Nov 24 2020, 4:40 pm

Some kids may act strange with strep, but usually its PANDAS which not all doctors believe in/check for.

amother

Copper

Tue, Nov 24 2020, 5:33 pm

I'm not sure about her attitude, but what you said about her tights and hair made me wonder if she has sensory issues. When I was that age, I would also get very upset if my tights suddenly fit me differently and I didn't know how to explain why it made me so upset. Like a different Ima said, it was really helpful for me to take off my tights right when I came home.

amother

Tue, Nov 24 2020, 8:27 pm

amother [ Copper ] wrote:

I hear that. very possible.

The issue is for example that this morning she screamed and yelled literally kicking on the floor because her tights are no good for an entire hour. I kept coaxing etc. but after 45 minutes of this in our morning rush I just lost it! and ended up speaking very sternly to her.

by the time when she comes home there is no mention of the tights at all.

I dont know what to do!

FranticFrummie

Tue, Nov 24 2020, 8:35 pm

When DD was 5, strep was running rampant through her school. She kept getting it, bringing it home, and then passing it to me. I'd pass it back to her, she'd take it to school, and around it goes. She had strep 6 times in one year, and I ended up getting Scarlet Fever, which is no joke.

When she was 6, we got her tonsils and adenoids taken out, which is where strep hides. Antibiotics don't reach across the barrier, and as soon as the coast is clear, the stronger strep pops right back up.

Once we got the surgery done, she was LITERALLY a different kid in 24 hours. It was unbelievable. I got my sweet, cooperative, sunshine girl back. I stopped yelling, she stopped having tantrums and whining, and it was simply miraculous!

B'H, neither of us ever got strep again after that.

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