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Daughter finally started menstruating
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Nov 25 2020, 9:13 pm
How do I mark this signigicant time for her? should I buy her a gift? I want her to only have a positive association with this rite of passage...
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ExtraCredit




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Nov 25 2020, 9:15 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
How do I mark this signigicant time for her? should I buy her a gift? I want her to only have a positive association with this rite of passage...

Take her out for ice cream! Ice cream
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shmosmom




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Nov 25 2020, 9:15 pm
Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't appreciate a celebration. Just buy her whatever she needs and teach her how to use it.
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amother




Wine
 

Post  Wed, Nov 25 2020, 9:25 pm
Probably the best thing you can do is be normal and positive about it. Not afraid to talk about it, answer her questions, buy her supplies, etc.
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amother




Slateblue
 

Post  Wed, Nov 25 2020, 9:30 pm
The only 🩸 gift that makes sense is a Divacup.
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amother




Brown
 

Post  Wed, Nov 25 2020, 9:39 pm
I hated that my mother made an issue of it. Its a normal part of life and growing up..
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amother




Beige
 

Post  Wed, Nov 25 2020, 9:51 pm
I would have been mortified if my mother gave me a gift over this.
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amother




Forestgreen
 

Post  Wed, Nov 25 2020, 9:56 pm
Don't do anything
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amother




Seashell
 

Post  Wed, Nov 25 2020, 9:57 pm
amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:
The only 🩸 gift that makes sense is a Divacup.


I would have made a terrible mess with these as a 12 yr old.

I'd get her thinx!

A box of chocolates.

Ask how she's feeling. If she has cramps of anything like that. Offer her something if she has cramps.

And then let her be.

Let her know that she can expect it again in a month but also maybe not in the very beginning. And encourage her to keep a calendar.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Nov 25 2020, 9:59 pm
DD knew everything she needed to know in advance, and had supplies ready.

She let me know when she started, and we went out for sushi later. I gave her money to buy snacks that she might be craving, and then let her chill out in her room and play video games.

She doesn't usually eat a lot of nosh, but the day before she starts her period she gets the munchies, so I would always give her an allowance for her chips and chocolate. It's the one time I don't nag her about eating junk food.
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amother




Slateblue
 

Post  Wed, Nov 25 2020, 10:29 pm
amother [ Seashell ] wrote:
I would have made a terrible mess with these as a 12 yr old.

OP didn't say age, but "finally" in the title indicates that her daughter might be older.
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amother




Khaki
 

Post  Wed, Nov 25 2020, 11:31 pm
In my family, my parents bought each of my sisters and me a piece of real gold jewelry from a local jeweler. My grandparents gave each girl from our cousins a monetary gift (about $200), but not my sisters and me. I think they thought we would be embarrassed. (We're the most Americanized cousins.) It wasn't mortifying, as a poster upthread wrote. It was a beautiful commemoration of a really important milestone, and womanhood. 12 and 13 for bar/bas mitzvah are average ages, but the actual maturing of a boy and girl are beautiful and significant. No shame.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Nov 26 2020, 12:13 am
Thank you all for your replies!
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amother




Yellow
 

Post  Thu, Nov 26 2020, 12:18 am
I don’t think we did anything to celebrate the first time, but before we were kosher we had a code word for when it happened, like “It’s a Starbucks day” and then my mom would take me out for a coffee treat.
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amother




Amber
 

Post  Thu, Nov 26 2020, 4:25 am
amother [ Yellow ] wrote:
I don’t think we did anything to celebrate the first time, but before we were kosher we had a code word for when it happened, like “It’s a Starbucks day” and then my mom would take me out for a coffee treat.

Haha wow I had trouble figuring this out! I thought you were saying you were "kosher" after you'd gotten your period. And then I was trying to figure out why you said you didn't celebrate and at the same time you went out for a coffee treat. I got it in the end though, sounds very cute! Smile

I, on the other hand, was very private and I don't think I even told my mom about it the first time. I was prepared in school (public school) and knew what it was and what I had to do. I definitely never told my mom every month! I can't believe that grandparents (post above) were told (with the girl's knowledge) and gave gifts!! A public commemoration for her birthday is wonderful, but not this!!!
If you are close with her, OP, and discuss this stuff openly and think she would like it, take her out, but I wouldn't do it as a public thing without specific input from her!
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yonabets




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Nov 26 2020, 4:52 am
מזל טוב!
Give her a beautiful bag "with all the stuff ",put a perfum inside and some chocolates...
And give her big hugs


Last edited by yonabets on Thu, Nov 26 2020, 7:23 am; edited 2 times in total
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amother




Coffee
 

Post  Thu, Nov 26 2020, 7:06 am
A gift for her body doing what it’s supposed to do is weird, IMO.
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amother




Sienna
 

Post  Thu, Nov 26 2020, 7:32 am
amother [ Coffee ] wrote:
A gift for her body doing what it’s supposed to do is weird, IMO.

Except that for a young girl, going to the bathroom and seeing lots of blood for the first time, no matter how prepared she is for it, can be a little disconcerting.
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LovesHashem




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Nov 26 2020, 7:59 am
Chocolate and ice cream and snacks!
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OneSource




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Nov 26 2020, 8:44 am
I come from a bunch of deeply European women so when I got mine, my mother gave me a light slap on the cheek and a bracha that this should be the worst pain becoming a woman brings. We then did a girls day together. I got my first makeup kit and my colors done at Henri Bendels and we went out for desert in NYC. It was amazing. My mother died 5 years later and this still stands out as one of the best memories. I got my period for the first time in school and was so embarrassed. Coming in the next day with light, natural makeup for the first time completely boosted my confidence and my friends and I focused on how cool it was to have real makeup. Obviously, this isn't for everyone but it's a tradition in my family and my daughter is looking forward to getting her period so she can get real makeup 🙈. And I got her thinx. She's ready, lol.
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