How do people afford seminary???

amother

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 4:54 pm

My girls are very little... But I'm hearing from other moms in the community about the cost of sem and am experiencing serious sticker shock. How can seminary cost as much as a down payment on a house?!? How do families afford it - and then they're expected to pay for some/most/all of the wedding too? And if there's more than 1 girl in the family?

I'm seriously asking, because I can't even imagine how it's doable. I'm davening that Hashem should help us financially so that we're able to afford it without feeling it, but I'd have to make a LOT more money to be in that position.

amother

Bisque

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 5:07 pm

Many people take out loans, believe it or not.
Personally, I think its silly, and because of that I didnt go to seminary myself.( not too long ago)

It actually didnt affect me in the slightest.

Also, op, it may reassure you to know that im hearing of more and more girls every year who choose to skip seminary. Definitely still the minority but the trend is growing.

amother

Coral

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 5:57 pm

If it's in the 20k range it's the same as a year of high school where I live... Not sure how we'll afford when the time comes, but there it is...

Chayalle

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 6:25 pm

I know people who send their daughters to cheaper seminaries. There are seminaries that are willing to offer tuition discounts to people. They are often good seminaries, but not the ones considered top, that everyone is pushing to get into.

I know a family where each of the daughters went to a different seminary - whichever one was willing to work with the parents, and bring the tuition down to a price they could afford.

Someone I know did this, and paid less for seminary in E"Y than I paid for my DD at Lakewood's local seminary (Bnos Chaim).

amother

Wheat

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 6:25 pm

Most of dds friend dream about seminary from a really young age. They save their money. They babysit alot.

The sem may give a discount plus they should are eligible for FASA. I know some parents that paid 10k for tuition and the girls paid for all other expenses.

Fox

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 8:44 pm

Unless you are already paying full tuition for younger children at home, this is something that requires a shaila. Rabbi Fuerst, sh'lita, the Agudah Dayan of the Midwest, has poskined that, barring unusual circumstances, parents may not spend money for seminary if they are receiving tuition discounts from local day schools/high schools for other children.

little neshamala

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 8:52 pm

Fox wrote:

Yes, ive heard this before.

amother

Gray

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 8:56 pm

Fox wrote:

Wow I've never heard that but that's amazing and makes so so much sense

amother

Aquamarine

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 9:01 pm

amother [ Brunette ] wrote:

I don't know they afford it, but I'd love to know where you can buy a house for a $25k down payment!

In many communities you can buy a house with a $25K down payment.

amother

Olive

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 10:57 pm

Fox wrote:

I respect this tremendously.
But when a school only has Israeli seminaries at their sem night, and push Israeli seminaries, then they should also allow tuition reductions for subsequent children.

Oh, how we did it? Picked the cheaper sem if dd got into more than one. MASA. Local Federation and ZOA grants. We didn't qualify for FAFSA but these frum grants take frum living into consideration.

Fox

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 11:25 pm

amother [ Olive ] wrote:

But when a school only has Israeli seminaries at their sem night, and push Israeli seminaries, then they should also allow tuition reductions for subsequent children.

The purpose of "sem night" should be for parents to determine whether seminary is a good option for their daughter -- not to automatically assume she's going and then listen to sales pitches.

But, yes, I remember the pressure well. We learned very quickly to fix everyone in the eye -- including the high school principals -- and say, "Our rav poskined that it's assur for anyone to send a daughter to seminary if they're receiving scholarships for younger children unless there are special circumstances."

Oddly, people dropped the topic rather quickly.

amother

Olive

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 11:36 pm

Fox wrote:

I like the idea of seminary, of higher education on a more sophisticated level, especially if girls are going to get advanced secular degrees. But you're right, sem isn't cheap even chutz la'aretz if you live OOT and don't qualify for FAFSA. With one of my kids, with all the grants we got for EY, we didn't pay much more than we did for 12th grade.

amother

Oak

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 11:47 pm

It's funny, because I originally wasn't planning on going to seminary at all. Plans changed last minute, and I ended up in a (cheaper) Israeli sem. And in retrospect, I really needed "13th grade." It wasn't life-changing, because my high school was very sem-like in that sense, but it did change my life because without that last year of transitional school before "real life" I think I would have done much more poorly.

That's how I see it in most cases, and I'll have to trust that the same Hashem Who has paid for the tuition until now will help with this one too.

amother

Firebrick

Fri, Nov 27 2020, 12:08 am

amother [ Oak ] wrote:

That's how I see it in most cases, and I'll have to trust that the same Hashem Who has paid for the tuition until now will help with this one too.

This!!!!