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Help me understand the difference btwn successful vs perfect



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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Nov 26 2020, 8:31 pm
I seem to have some sort of brain lock when I see people who I categorize as succesful. I always assume that if you are succesful then you should be perfect. Example, let's say someone owns a succesful business or school I keep thinking well if she is succesful she should be a perfect communicator, good with clients and a nice employer. Or an amazing parenting teacher should be a perfect parent. I know this is a weird question, but can someone guide me on this or give me some insight. I know I am confusing success with being perfect but I can't seem to separate the two and am continually surprised when people call short.
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ExtraCredit




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 26 2020, 8:35 pm
Perfect doesn’t exist! That should help!
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Thu, Nov 26 2020, 8:46 pm
Perfect is an absolute and successful is related to people’s impression of you. And siyata d’shmaya.
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Thu, Nov 26 2020, 8:55 pm
Success doesn't depend only on you, but also on how others perceive what you do - if it's good enough for them, they will buy it or want it, and it will be a success. Also what you do could be very, very good, but for some reason not what many people want right now - and then it might not be a success, even if it is very good.

When you say someone is "perfect", this would be about all aspects of a personality. To be successfull, it's enough to know to do something, never mind if you suck at everything else.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Nov 26 2020, 9:09 pm
amother [ Chocolate ] wrote:
Success doesn't depend only on you, but also on how others perceive what you do - if it's good enough for them, they will buy it or want it, and it will be a success. Also what you do could be very, very good, but for some reason not what many people want right now - and then it might not be a success, even if it is very good.

When you say someone is "perfect", this would be about all aspects of a personality. To be successfull, it's enough to know to do something, never mind if you suck at everything else.


OK so this was very helpful, particularly the last sentence. This is what I struggle with. I am dealing with a person who sucks on so many levels but is ridiculously succesful. I'm talking millionaire businessman. I keep getting confused that how can he be so succesful if he sucks at being a good person.
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IsraeliSoul




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 26 2020, 10:08 pm
Well usually the successful millionaire doesn’t necessarily mean nice person or good relations.

Sometimes it’s their rude insensitive personality which drives them to conquer people, business, etc.

Think Donald Trump
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Fri, Nov 27 2020, 12:35 am
Successful means doing the best that you can under the god given circumstances you are in.

A happy confident person will more likely look successful than a unhappy person. Which has nothing to do with perfect.

But unfortunately our society comsiders wealth to be success. So I’m not sure if that’s what your refering to.
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Fri, Nov 27 2020, 12:38 am
Lots of successful people step on others to get what they want. Or care more about success than about their family. Successful does not mean perfect, ethical, amazing human being. Some are and some aren't.
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 27 2020, 1:02 am
Why would you equate being successful in business with being a perfect human being when there are so many examples which clearly show this is not the case?

Just look at successful businesspersons -- so many are total sociopaths. Steve Jobs was brilliant but notoriously nasty to his employees, Jeff Bozos cheated on his wife, Bernie Madoff cheated clients out of millions, Elizabeth Holmes deceived investors, had no actual working product, and threatened her employees.

I'm not suggesting that all successful businesspersons are sociopaths, but surely it is obvious that being successful at business in no way means you are a perfect human being.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 27 2020, 1:41 am
Many successful people really didn’t do well in school.
Many people who do very well in other areas are woefully inadequate where you would see it.
That amazing teacher might fail as a principal.
As with everything, recognize your strengths to try to achieve the most potential that you can with the tools that Hashem has given you. Try to figure out what your tafkid is. That’s where Hashem gave you what you need to really shine.
Others success has no bearing at all on your success.
(Besides, you don’t know if they really are a success)
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amother
Silver


 

Post Fri, Nov 27 2020, 1:50 am
Only Hashem is perfect
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imaima




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 27 2020, 2:01 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
OK so this was very helpful, particularly the last sentence. This is what I struggle with. I am dealing with a person who sucks on so many levels but is ridiculously succesful. I'm talking millionaire businessman. I keep getting confused that how can he be so succesful if he sucks at being a good person.


Okay this is very common. Every leader usually has some degree of narcissism. Leaders/top managers are usually not nice or perfect because they make uncomfortable decisions, fire people etc.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 27 2020, 8:30 am
IsraeliSoul wrote:
Well usually the successful millionaire doesn’t necessarily mean nice person or good relations.

Sometimes it’s their rude insensitive personality which drives them to conquer people, business, etc.

Think Donald Trump


Thank you! Our lame duck mamzer-in-chief was exactly the example I was going to cite.

"Successful millionaire" is redundant. Have you ever met an unsuccessful millionaire?

It is a sad commentary on our society that we use "successful" as a euphemism for "makes a lot of money." If a person is a millionaire, he's considered successful, even if he has no friends, three broken marriages, and children who won't talk to him. We don't apply the label to a person who is very, very good at his job, has a loving family and is well-thought-of in his community but doesn't make much.
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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Fri, Nov 27 2020, 8:33 am
I’m a perfectionist to an unhealthy level. Meaning, if something isn’t perfect, then I wasn’t successful. Average is a danger zone.
Yeah, I know. I got issues.
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Fri, Nov 27 2020, 10:09 am
amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:
I’m a perfectionist to an unhealthy level. Meaning, if something isn’t perfect, then I wasn’t successful. Average is a danger zone.
Yeah, I know. I got issues.
Me too!!!
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peacenine




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 27 2020, 10:47 am
I heard once a great line.
"In order to be successful you have to try and fail which gives you experience then you could succeed"
People who are successful in any given area have failed in that area too. If they haven't failed yet they didnt reach a place of true growth and success.
I know lots of weathly people who have horrible midos and are super self centered (narcissistic.) I don't consider those people successful in life and I dont look up to them.
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Malkqueen




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 27 2020, 11:16 am
I think the definition of success includes putting effort into something. If the efforts work out, then there is success.

So if someone's school or business or parenting method is successful, it means they put effort into that aspect of their life, and it yielded success, I.e. its intended result.

The effort in that particular part of their life does not automatically transfer over to the rest of their life.
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singleagain




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 27 2020, 11:22 am
I think the first thing to understanding the difference is to understand how you define it versus how someone else might define it because sometimes these definitions get a tiny bit subjective
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