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My baby is BH playing so nicely on the floor...
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amother




cornflower
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 12:10 pm
I would continue encouraging baby to eat more. I feel like your baby needs something from you. Every one of my babies started eating around 7 months. Some a bit after. My 10 month old went from one meal a day to 3 in a very short time and he eats tons. I started yogurt at 8 months, some start earlier, my baby has been eating cheerios and milk for months. I started off making it soggier till he started chewing better. Small pieces.bake sweet potatoes. He eats tons now, challa, scrambled eggs, avacodo. You need to try more foods. Puffs.
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nchr




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 12:27 pm
amother [ Gray ] wrote:
Infants have a well documented need to be either held or in very close proximity to their primary caregiver. Some babies have a stronger need, just as some babies need more sleep or to be fed more often.


A need in what sense? No one needs to be close to someone. Maybe newborns. A 10 month old (just picked a random age) has no idea who they are near to and a 10 month old must always bee in line of site or in a crib anyways for safety. Is a child not near the other if they are in one corner of a room and the mother is folding laundry in the other?
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amother




Gray
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 12:27 pm
LovesHashem wrote:
According to this logic anyone who has a few young kids is likely neglecting their baby. If they have a toddler and 3 year old how on earth are you supposed to not neglect all 3?

They need dinner, laundry, and all 3 kids need attention as well.

You cannot make a hot dinner while holding a heavy 9 month year old baby. You should not be dealing with boiling hot things while holding a baby of any age even in a carrier. That is not safe as well.


Of course not. Either I deal with hot food while the baby is napping or happily distracted, or I put him down for one minute to do it. If my baby wants to be held I'll prepare food that doesn't need a lot of hands on attention from me. I don't do laundry when an infant is awake, there are many other hours in the day to do it. Kids of different ages need different forms and amounts of attention. If you have infant twins and only one set of hands then there will likely be a crying baby often. That's not something someone can control, but when a parent can make choices to best serve all the kids needs that's obviously preferable. I thought this is fairly straightforward. When my kids walk in the door from school I don't use that hour for talking on the phone, mopping the floor, cleaning the bathroom. Because I need to use that time to meet their needs. Similarly, I structure my day to meet the needs of my infants as well. Infants have more physical needs than older children, that's just the way Hashem made them.
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amother




Gray
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 12:32 pm
nchr wrote:
A need in what sense? No one needs to be close to someone. Maybe newborns. A 10 month old (just picked a random age) has no idea who they are near to and a 10 month old must always bee in line of site or in a crib anyways for safety. Is a child not near the other if they are in one corner of a room and the mother is folding laundry in the other?


A need is a need. Not sure what you're asking. Do babies need to be smiled at? Handled gently? Spoken to? What do you consider a need?
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nchr




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 12:39 pm
amother [ Gray ] wrote:
A need is a need. Not sure what you're asking. Do babies need to be smiled at? Handled gently? Spoken to? What do you consider a need?


Yes, those are necessarily, but do not need to occur constantly. I don't think it makes sense to say a baby has a need to be held by its mother almost all the time for 24 months. That's not normal.
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amother




Gray
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 12:43 pm
nchr wrote:
Yes, those are necessarily, but do not need to occur constantly. I don't think it makes sense to say a baby has a need to be held by its mother almost all the time for 24 months. That's not normal.


No, a baby does not need to be held constantly for 224 months. Newborns can need to be held constantly, depending on the baby. As they get older the need decreases. Babies switch over from a liquid diet to a solid diet at different ages, and they also decrease their need for constant physical closeness at different ages. Op is not describing a situation where her baby needs to held, only to be in very close proximity to her. This is another step away. But it's still the need for physical closeness while awake. It's normal and scientifically understood to be a need.
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Success10




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 12:47 pm
nchr wrote:
A need in what sense? No one needs to be close to someone. Maybe newborns. A 10 month old (just picked a random age) has no idea who they are near to and a 10 month old must always bee in line of site or in a crib anyways for safety. Is a child not near the other if they are in one corner of a room and the mother is folding laundry in the other?


You don't think babies (and children, and adults) need and crave physical closeness to others (especially mom) simply for a sense of emotional security? You really think a 10 month old has no idea his mother is nearby?

Or perhaps you meant something else and I misunderstood you.
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nchr




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 12:48 pm
Success10 wrote:
You don't think babies (and children, and adults) need and crave physical closeness to others (especially mom) simply for a sense of emotional security? You really think a 10 month old has no idea his mother is nearby?

Or perhaps you meant something else and I misunderstood you.


I think a 10 month knows if a mother is in the room, but doesn't differentiate between her being 2 feet and 8 feet away in terms of wanting to be "near" a mother.
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LovesHashem




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 12:53 pm
amother [ Gray ] wrote:
Of course not. Either I deal with hot food while the baby is napping or happily distracted, or I put him down for one minute to do it. If my baby wants to be held I'll prepare food that doesn't need a lot of hands on attention from me. I don't do laundry when an infant is awake, there are many other hours in the day to do it. Kids of different ages need different forms and amounts of attention. If you have infant twins and only one set of hands then there will likely be a crying baby often. That's not something someone can control, but when a parent can make choices to best serve all the kids needs that's obviously preferable. I thought this is fairly straightforward. When my kids walk in the door from school I don't use that hour for talking on the phone, mopping the floor, cleaning the bathroom. Because I need to use that time to meet their needs. Similarly, I structure my day to meet the needs of my infants as well. Infants have more physical needs than older children, that's just the way Hashem made them.


What if said baby doesn't nap at coinvent times? Obviously don't do laundry all day long but if you are a stay at home mom do you honestly push off everything you need in your personal life done, all food prep, cleaning, etc to when your infant is sleeping?

That just doesn't seem realistic to me. I have friends who work from home. I can't imagine how that would be possible with an infant if according to your logic need attention more or less every waking moment.
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Success10




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 12:55 pm
nchr wrote:
I think a 10 month knows if a mother is in the room, but doesn't differentiate between her being 2 feet and 8 feet away in terms of wanting to be "near" a mother.


I think at that age they can tell that something is moving further away, and they already get that things that move away may eventually disappear from view. That could feasibly distress a baby. They also have other ways of sensing closeness, like warmth and smell that we can't really pick up on since we've outgrown it.

Either way, I'm not saying someone should have to hold a 10 month old all day, that could drive a person nuts. It's just important to empathize with the needs of the baby, even if you simply can't meet all of them. I remember my babies being very kvetchy at that age, might have something to do with teething or changing nap schedules. It's tough, I'm not saying otherwise. They outgrow it, though.
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metacognizant




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2020, 2:33 pm
Been there with #1. With #2 I got him used to spending A LOT of time in a carrier on my back. I use an Ergobaby 360 and have gotten very very comfortable putting him in there myself and doing housework. With #1 I felt like a prisoner to the baby, like the baby decided what activities I was or was not permitted to do. Now BH with #2 it's pretty much my decision unless he needs to nurse/eat or poop! (Babies do not like pooping while in a carrier.) I pretty much interpret all clinginess as a sign he needs to be a "back baby" so when he start to cling, into the carrier he goes. Life is good-- try it!
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amother




Coral
 

Post Wed, Dec 02 2020, 8:50 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
There is no such thing as spoiling a baby. Posts like these scare me.


Thank you! A baby can not be spoiled!!!
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amy613




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Dec 02 2020, 10:03 pm
Maybe wear her when you need to do stuff some of the time at least
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