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watergirl
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Mon, Nov 30 2020, 8:11 am
| amother [ Honeydew ] wrote: | I totally agree Penina should have been consulted.
That being said, as the first sister in law, I do resent how much effort and money we are expected to spend for simchas. When we had our first child, we got a few small outfits from children’s place. Nobody else was married . I had my third and a few weeks later SIL had her first. I got no present for my baby and then was asked to chip in over $50 for a present for the new baby. We make a siblings Sheva Bracha’s, and buy siblings wedding gift. We didn’t get any of this. |
Full disclosure - I know know about these things from what I read here, in fb groups, and in the magazines. But from what I've heard, there is a trade-off of sorts. The younger kids provide babysitting and help and share their homes when the older siblings get married and have kids and come to take a break, and when the younger ones are older, they have no siblings to help out and their parents are older already so they are not up to it. Or something like that. This, I guess, is the way the younger siblings do not get the same thing the older ones got and this is where their resentment comes in.
Having said that, these Mishpacha stories are all ridiculous and I know they are there to start conversation, but there is a real miss here. Rather than inspire the readers to yell at the magazine "JUST COMMUNICATE!", we could learn from experts weighing in and helping with sample dialogue.
The sisters in law acted like a clique, which we know is a thing (we read that here often enough). They were totally wrong to leave out the other sister. And the mother of the chassan was wrong in not acting like a family leader and getting everyone together and helping and organizing.
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amother
Honeydew
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Mon, Nov 30 2020, 8:21 am
| watergirl wrote: | Full disclosure - I know know about these things from what I read here, in fb groups, and in the magazines. But from what I've heard, there is a trade-off of sorts. The younger kids provide babysitting and help and share their homes when the older siblings get married and have kids and come to take a break, and when the younger ones are older, they have no siblings to help out and their parents are older already so they are not up to it. Or something like that. This, I guess, is the way the younger siblings do not get the same thing the older ones got and this is where their resentment comes in.
Having said that, these Mishpacha stories are all ridiculous and I know they are there to start conversation, but there is a real miss here. Rather than inspire the readers to yell at the magazine "JUST COMMUNICATE!", we could learn from experts weighing in and helping with sample dialogue.
The sisters in law acted like a clique, which we know is a thing (we read that here often enough). They were totally wrong to leave out the other sister. And the mother of the chassan was wrong in not acting like a family leader and getting everyone together and helping and organizing. |
I guess that is typical but I’ve literally never had a relative watch my kids while I take a nap or anything like that. This doesn’t apply to me. It’s a bunch of boys after DH and MiL “isn’t the type “. They’re great. Really great . Just not with this one aspect.
I do agree that the stories would virtually all be solved by communication. They are made up.
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