Got demoted, don't know how to handle

amother

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 12:33 pm

So all of a sudden I have a "boss" over me when I didn't have a boss before. It's very upsetting. I'm still doing the same work I've done before, only now I hand it over to this new boss, and she tells the CEO my findings. She has a higher degree than I do, and she deliberately leaves me out of their conversations and findings and updates. I have to find out through third parties. In other words, I'll compile the information I've researched, I offer my recommendations, she presents it and makes decisions with the CEO, disseminates the decisions to the rest of the company, and I don't even find out until much LATER what the information IS.

Since I'm the one people ask (I'm a consultant), to NOT know new protocol because of private conversations she had without me, means that I am no longer trusted to consult.

I don't know how to complain, because the CEO obviously felt there needed to be a middle man between me and him. And he's not approachable. My previous boss is gone.

I just feel completely awful. I take great pride in my work, and yes, I like to feel important, and I suddenly find I'm just a grunt work employee, when I used to be executive.

My husband tells me to be lucky I'm still getting paid the same, and that I should just do whatever I'm asked and be grateful I still have a job in this crazy world. But I can't help but feel stress and feel upset every day, when I used to enjoy my job.

amother

Fuchsia

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 12:37 pm

Op, I get you.
I had a similar experience and it stressed me out like crazy.
I ended up leaving the job after a while because I just couldn’t handle it.

I know, not such great encouragement, but you’re not alone.
I hope you can get past it.

amother

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 12:44 pm

ShishKabob wrote:

OP, you are very normal and it's normal that this upsets you terribly. See if you can work like that, or try to find a different job where you will be able to thrive and feel appreciate. Good luck and all the best!

Right? My company is very well known and important, so I feel like going to a different company is another type of demotion, in its way.

My husband is right, he says to leave the ego at home and remember all our friends who lost their jobs and are struggling. But it's still hard.

amother

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 12:48 pm

Oh, and since I'm still doing the same research and the same work, when we're all on a phone call with another company, she takes the lead and acts like the boss. But when the other company's people have a question, there's a pause and she'll say, importantly, "...... Let's see what OP has to say about this? OP? Can you answer?"

Because she DOESN'T KNOW.

And then I'll find out that she will reach out to the people I used to talk to at those companies before and arrange meetings with them without including me, either.

ARGH. Tearing my hair out here. It's good to vent it here. No one else I know works.

amother

Olive

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 12:51 pm

There are two separate issues here.
One is how the demotion makes you feel.
The other is how it affects your ability to do your job.
If it were just the first problem, then I could see deciding to swallow your pride.
But if the current structure prevents you from working effectively, I would speak up. And if you don't get results, look into leaving.

ShishKabob

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 12:52 pm

amother [ Olive ] wrote:

I also think there's a third issue here.
It seems to me and I may be wrong that they may be trying to phase you out. I took that from the new person calling your old contacts.

amother

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 12:56 pm

ShishKabob wrote:

I also think there's a third issue here.
It seems to me and I may be wrong that they may be trying to phase you out. I took that from the new person calling your old contacts.

She's an attorney. (So no, I don't want to go back for that degree, LOL. I have advanced degrees, but not THAT one). It's below her pay grade to do my job. She'd probably hire some assistant.

ShishKabob

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 1:03 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

She's an attorney. (So no, I don't want to go back for that degree, LOL. I have advanced degrees, but not THAT one). It's below her pay grade to do my job. She'd probably hire some assistant.

Sounds like she's trying to gain some footing there though.
I would probably stay till I find something else. Good luck op and yes, you are lucky to have a job! Try to take this discomfort as a kapparah for whatever you need. You may as well come out the better for this if you can. Smile

amother

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 1:08 pm

ShishKabob wrote:

As a side point, does anyone else feel like humiliation is just a part of being in the working world? No wonder people choose to be a SAHM. Also, that other boss thread was horrifying.

Thanks, ShishKabob. Being humbled every day is really hard, I agree it's a nisayon.

SixOfWands

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 1:11 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

She's an attorney. (So no, I don't want to go back for that degree, LOL. I have advanced degrees, but not THAT one). It's below her pay grade to do my job. She'd probably hire some assistant.

To be blunt, its unlikely that they hired someone above you to take over your client and executive communications because they were happy with your work. I wouldn't panic, but I'd start looking for a new position.

In the meantime, speak to your new supervisor. Tell her you want to clarify the work flow and structure, to ensure that you are aware of your responsibilities. During the meeting, let her know that it would be very helpful to you to be kept in the loop regarding decisions, particularly as people continue to come to you.

Good luck.

ShishKabob

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 1:12 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

As a side point, does anyone else feel like humiliation is just a part of being in the working world?

I wouldn't say it's part of the working world. I would make it a personal thing that it's something that I particularly have to go thru and this is the way Hashem is sending it to me. Many SAHM get humiliated in the grocery or in the park. So, no, not related to work solely.
I wouldn't give the power to the other people though. (now That is an ego)

amother

Aqua

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 1:55 pm

I don't think its clear that they hired this woman bec. they're unhappy with your work. It really depends on the company. sometimes the boss wants someone between him/her self and the rest of the staff. The question was were you someone who was overlooked for this position, and are you at the highest rung you'll ever get? If yes, are you okay with that? You don't have to be miserable to find other opportunities. Even a lateral move into a company that there is place to grow, or you're more valued could be worthwhile. Yes, be grateful to have a job, for sure, but that doesn't mean you have to settle.

If she's a lawyer, not practicing law, I wouldn't consider her "higher degree than you" . Her law degree is irrelevant to her position, unless its that kind of business.

amother

Navy

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 2:13 pm

Ugh, that sounds awful. So sorry you're going through this, OP! I wish I had good advice for you, but nothing more to add to what everyone already said.

Your situation reminds me of some questions I've read on https://www.askamanager.org/... if you feel comfortable emailing her your question, I wonder what she would say.

amother

Saddlebrown

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 2:45 pm

I was in that position of the “new supervisor.” I don’t know your office so I could be totally off, but in my case the company was growing and the owner needed to step back a little. He no longer had the time to be involved in the day to day. He needed me to restructure the way things were done to be able to handle the growth of the business. I remember certain employees who were there from before having a hard time understanding why the changes were happening. Open and honest communication is your best bet.

ETA I also had a coworker who sounds similar to your supervisor in that he tried to make himself sound more important than he was/ get involved in things that weren’t his department and make it appear like he’s boss/ cutting into others contacts etc. It was really hard and frustrating. A lot of employees felt micromanaged. If that’s the case here then again, open communication with this person and whoever is on top of said person. We had meetings and worked things out but the difference is that I was on the same level as this employee. We were each supervisors of different departments. I ended up leaving that well paying prestigious job because of the stress.

imasinger

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 3:00 pm

amother [ Olive ] wrote:

I strongly agree with this.

Would you be able to put your personal feelings aside, and call a meeting either just with the big boss, or with the big boss and the new supervisor?

Ahead of time (use this thread if you like as a place to draft), list all the ways that your being left out of the loop is hurting the business.

Ask for a meeting to clarify new(er) roles, expectations, and communication chains. This is absolutely reasonable, and commonly done. You can emphasize that you're trying to be a team player.

For your own ego, try on the idea that this newcomer may have a more advanced degree, but may lack some management skills. Without saying a word against her, you can keep the idea in your mind that this is a piece of her job you can help her grow into.

It wouldn't hurt if you also start quietly looking elsewhere as well. It will help you to handle the current situation with confidence and cordiality.

Hatzlacha!

amother

Tangerine

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 3:11 pm

Is she in a legal role in your company? Is her title "Counsel" or similar? If so, is it possible that she has been put into this middleman position because they specifically wanted an attorney? For privilege purposes or other reasons?

amother

Ginger

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 3:46 pm

It does seem like they have put someone in between you and your previous boss to deal with the small stuff that your boss doesn't want (or have time) to be bothered with. The new boss seems to be trying to gain reputation but at the expense of yours. Have you tried discussing some of this with your new and old "boss". Obviously not the part about feeling demoted, but clarifying the roles and responsibilities and the related expected communication. Specifically the part of being included in meetings that discuss your work, or at minimum her just keeping you in the loop with resulting decisions. I would position it with the basis that you can do your job better if you are kept in the loop of which direction they are are going. Or that if you are in the meetings you can answer questions right away.