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Sensitive soul - how to handle the rough cold work world

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Dec 02 2020, 5:41 pm
I am realizing that a lot of the problems I face at work are a result of my expectation. I come from a warm small family and school. It's hard for me to transition from the warm cozy home environment to the working world. Can someone give me tips, insights or advise on how to let go of the need for positive feedback, warm and friendly work environment and to just be okay with working in a cold office where you are treated pretty much like a cog?
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amother




Cerise
 

Post  Wed, Dec 02 2020, 7:03 pm
How long are you at your job? Give yourself some time to get used to things.
Is it a secular environment? When I started my first job I found it a big cultural adjustment working with non jews. I had been to college but work was more like living with them and it was hard.
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amother




Chocolate
 

Post  Wed, Dec 02 2020, 7:09 pm
Be competent, open and eager to learn.

Don't build walls around yourself
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amother




Ivory
 

Post  Wed, Dec 02 2020, 7:42 pm
Why get used to it? Look for a job in a smaller, friendlier place. But don't expect any workplace to be like family, especially if it's not a Jewish business. You don't want to get TOO close to your coworkers in that case, because doing so can lead to awkwardness when it comes to invitations to lunch, parties and the like. Just act friendly, professional and adult. You're not in high school any more and your boss is not your mother-substitute.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Dec 03 2020, 7:45 am
TY for all the responses. I am at my job for 3 years and in my low 30s. I am not looking for a mother figure in my boss, and don't need a high school environment. I am more talking about the cold unfriendly feeling I get when I go to work. My coworkers are okay but the bosses are unfriendly and all about the business and bottom dollar. I get that you work to make money but I feel like there is no warmth, no good morning, no mazel tov after a simcha. I wonder how normal this is - it's hard to feel positive and excited to go to work in this environment.
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eileengray




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Dec 03 2020, 8:02 am
OP, I’m so sorry about what you’re going through. What you’re describing here sounds very dysfunctional. Most of the bosses/managers I’ve had over the years have been warm and cordial. Bosses have a job to do and I would never expect to be best friends with my bosses, but we are all professional adults and everyone should be treated with the appropriate respect and courtesy. If your bosses won’t even take the time to say good morning or make small talk about your family, it might be time to move on...
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Dec 03 2020, 8:05 am
eileengray wrote:
OP, I’m so sorry about what you’re going through. What you’re describing here sounds very dysfunctional. Most of the bosses/managers I’ve had over the years have been warm and cordial. Bosses have a job to do and I would never expect to be best friends with my bosses, but we are all professional adults and everyone should be treated with the appropriate respect and courtesy. If your bosses won’t even take the time to say good morning or make small talk about your family, it might be time to move on...


Ty - I think I need to hear this. Change is so hard.
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eileengray




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Dec 03 2020, 8:26 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Ty - I think I need to hear this. Change is so hard.


Hug

It’s important to realize that it’s totally natural and healthy to expect positive feedback and warm interactions from managers. Adjusting to a new job will be tough and scary, but it’s better than staying in a toxic environment and trying to lower your (completely justified) expectations.
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zaq




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Dec 03 2020, 8:29 am
Dust off your resume and start looking elsewhere. If they haven't thawed in 3 years they never will and you will never be happy there. Life's too short to spend a third of it being miserable. Most workplaces are at least reasonably cordial even if you don't become best buddies. A boss who doesn't even say good morning to his or her employees? Who needs that? It's not as if it costs the firm money. Run, hon.
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