When husband and wife aren’t on the same page

amother

Fri, Dec 04 2020, 2:00 pm

Anyone else in this situation?

I take corona restrictions seriously, my husband doesn’t.

He goes to shul, goes to community events etc, no masks.

I don’t fight about it, I just do my own thing.

This week he wanted to go away for a big Shabbos with 100+ ppl. I said you can go if you want but I’m not comfortable in that situation.

So we’re staying home but he’s being very passive aggressive about it, complaining about how crazy I am etc etc.

I work in healthcare and it could put my job at risk if they find out I’m flouting COVID restrictions and going to gatherings. He doesn’t care about that.

amother

Jade

Fri, Dec 04 2020, 2:16 pm

Op if he’s constantly mingling without a mask, did he or anyone among them contract Covid recently?
My guess would be no, so it’s probable that there’s herd immunity between them.

I wouldn’t worry about it if he’s been doing this for months.

amother

Taupe

Fri, Dec 04 2020, 2:36 pm

amother [ Jade ] wrote:

Doesn't work this way. I was in the same position as the OP (I'm an RN). DH did what he wanted, no masks, large groups, etc. It worked from March till October, but then he contracted Covid during Sukkos and shared it with the rest of the house.

This herd immunity is nonsense. If it would have any truth to it, Sweden would have had the proof by now. Instead, Sweden is showing the proof that the herd immunity concept hasn't been working just yet for CV.

amother

Jade

Fri, Dec 04 2020, 2:40 pm

amother [ Taupe ] wrote:

How is it nonsense?

Are you aware that all the heimish communities have simchas and packed shuls, for months already every single night and many of them are unmasked?

amother

Jade

Fri, Dec 04 2020, 2:42 pm

And btw, do you realize that you will stay locked in or at least masked FOREVER, if you won’t take the vaccine?

Otherwise how will this ever end?

amother

Wheat

Fri, Dec 04 2020, 2:43 pm

My husband and I both take it seriously, but he is the stricter of the two of us.

For example, I wanted to let the kids resume their weekly individual swim lessons at our JCC, which strictly complies with all the rules and guidelines. The only person in proximity to them would have been the masked instructor. I recognized that there would still be some risk, but felt that it was low and that there was a very high value to justify it because my kids adore the pool. But my husband was not comfortable with it, so we did not do it.

I think you and your husband are further apart, so it will be more difficult. But if you have a good relationship overall, then hopefully he will agree to humor you even if he thinks you're too uptight. You can hopefully minimize his resentment by humoring him in other points of disagreement on which perhaps you ordinarily would be inclined to push back.

amother

Emerald

Fri, Dec 04 2020, 2:46 pm

amother [ Jade ] wrote:

How is it nonsense?

Are you aware that all the heimish communities have simchas and packed shuls, for months already every single night and many of them are unmasked?

Exactly this!! And I didn’t have corona and I know I’ve been exposed to it many times.

I hope u enjoy lockup and keeping your husband locked up who will just keep on resenting you.

amother

Wheat

Fri, Dec 04 2020, 2:48 pm

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

I hope u enjoy lockup and keeping your husband locked up who will just keep on resenting you.

This is just a mean comment. And also it is inaccurate. OP is not keeping her husband locked up.

Quote:

He goes to shul, goes to community events etc, no masks.

I don’t fight about it, I just do my own thing.

amother

Emerald

Fri, Dec 04 2020, 2:50 pm

amother [ Wheat ] wrote:

By keeping him from social gatherings and doing what others in the community do causes resentment .

amother

Taupe

Fri, Dec 04 2020, 2:51 pm

amother [ Jade ] wrote:

And btw, do you realize that you will stay locked in or at least masked FOREVER, if you won’t take the vaccine?

Otherwise how will this ever end?

All pandemics come to an end, one way or the other. They usually propagate through society because of no previous immunity, and once the population has been infected it normally dies off, or medical treatment is developed for it.

That's no reason for being locked in, but does give cause for masks. Keep the numbers down so the medical world can handle the situation, and the mask limits exposure for the high risk and vulnerable. This way more lives are saved. That is the current goal - save as many lives as possible.

amother

Wheat

Fri, Dec 04 2020, 2:52 pm

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

By keeping him from social gatherings and doing what others in the community do causes resentment .

She's not keeping him from anything.

Quote:

I said you can go if you want but I’m not comfortable in that situation.

All she is doing is staying home herself.

amother

Taupe

Fri, Dec 04 2020, 2:54 pm

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

Exactly this!! And I didn’t have corona and I know I’ve been exposed to it many times.

I hope u enjoy lockup and keeping your husband locked up who will just keep on resenting you.

Ha - I thought the same thing. I treated many corona patients. I was sure that I was immune to it come YT time. But apparently, I wasn't.

And I never kept DH locked up - I just let him know the risks of it. He used to talk just like you - and now his tune has totally changed.

amother

Jade

Fri, Dec 04 2020, 2:54 pm

amother [ Taupe ] wrote:

No pandemic ended without a vaccine.

Yes it ends with immunity.

But our media and politicians want you to think that it’s still dangerous.

What a community of sheep we are.

amother

Taupe

Fri, Dec 04 2020, 2:57 pm

amother [ Jade ] wrote:

Yes it ends with immunity.

But our media and politicians want you to think that it’s still dangerous.

What a community of sheep we are.

Yes, but immunity doesn't settle in as quickly as we'd like. Otherwise, explain Sweden. They went the immunity route, and did not expect the steep rise in cases and deaths they're experiencing now. They're now backtracking on this immunity route.

It takes a good 12-18 months for herd immunity to kick in (without the support of vaccines).

amother

Emerald

Fri, Dec 04 2020, 2:57 pm

amother [ Taupe ] wrote:

No one that I know that had the virus in the last while had it major it was all flu like symptoms

Why did his tune change???

amother

Emerald

Fri, Dec 04 2020, 2:58 pm

amother [ Taupe ] wrote:

Florida is living life as normal they have the virus there the death rate is way low. Locking up don’t help cause when u come out of lockup everyone gets sick

amother

Taupe

Fri, Dec 04 2020, 3:00 pm

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

No one that I know that had the virus in the last while had it major it was all flu like symptoms

Why did his tune change???

Because it wasn't just 'flu symptoms'. The head fog, the cough, the intense body aches were more severe than any flu. It also lasted a good two weeks. And then he made his wife sick, so his wife wasn't able to work for a good many days too, and wasn't able to take care of the house. So while convalescing, he had to help take care of the house, and deal with a loss of income. And he had to avoid some important family events too.

So he agrees its no joke and not something that we need to take as lightly as he did. He is now for precautions and taking stock of the situation. (no lockdowns).

amother

Seafoam

Fri, Dec 04 2020, 3:11 pm

amother [ Jade ] wrote:

How is it nonsense?

Are you aware that all the heimish communities have simchas and packed shuls, for months already every single night and many of them are unmasked?

I am aware. And I also know 6 teens in 5 different schools that contracted the virus over the last few weeks. And my friend's fragile father did too and is in the hospital all alone. Flatbush.

amother

Emerald

Fri, Dec 04 2020, 3:14 pm

amother [ Seafoam ] wrote:

I am aware. And I also know 6 teens in 5 different schools that contracted the virus over the last few weeks. And my friend's fragile father did too and is in the hospital all alone. Flatbush.

Cause he’s alone is stupid politics that caused it!!
The fact that he got covid where was he? The fragile belong watching and the same was in the past years for flu. I know many that were hospitalized with flu in the past.

amother

Jade

Fri, Dec 04 2020, 3:25 pm

Whatever people are blind to the real facts and it’s sad.

Wear your mask and stay SD and beleive that’s protecting you.

I wore a freaking mask for 3 months and haven’t moved out of the house without it and then got Covid.

Time to stop believing all the garbage that Cuomo and his likes are preaching about.
The lies that the media is shoving up our brains.

But if you haven’t realized it until now, you probably will never see it.

Fact is, Covid is not raging anymore, contrary to what we are told.
It’s hardly dangerous as 99 percent recover.

Yes I know there are some individual cases, but that shouldn’t be so news worthy and imposing fear onto us.