WWYD- cleaning lady

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Forum -> Household Management -> Cleaning & Laundry

WWYD- cleaning lady

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amother

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 1:01 pm

I have a wonderful cleaning lady. she's been coming to me for over 5 years. We have a good friendly relationship.
one day she comes to me and says that she's letting me know that she found another job and won't be working for me anymore. I felt completely blindsided. first I thought are we not good to you? I've always been so nice to her. Then she tells me she's going to be babysitting. So I'm thinking ok so its not me, she is just moving on. I express how sad I am that she'll be leaving, she can see on my face how disappointed I am to have to start over again again from scratch the hunt for a good cleaning lady, which I'm sure you all know is hard to find.

After a few minutes to digest my emotions, she tells me "I'm joking, but I want a raise, a 3 dollar raise"

That's when I was completely and utterly shocked. First I told her I'm so relieved you're not leaving. Then she laughs at how I fell for her prank. I told her I have to think about the raise.

I feel completely manipulated. I would happily have given her a $1 raise, she deserves it. but the way she did it, and on top of that asking for $3/hr raise because she saw on my face how much I wanted her.

How would you feel? what would you do?

amother

Lavender

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 1:07 pm

She wasn’t joking. She had another offer but when u offered a raise and she saw your desperation she went to town!

amother

Khaki

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 1:13 pm

That's very manipulative. It's not the raise, it's the manner it was done. I'd be very uncomfortable having someone like that working for me.

amother

Cyan

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 1:19 pm

I've looked away from things my cleaning lady did that were upsetting (not showing up without any notice more than just once or twice, breaking things more than just once or twice, rudeness, surliness, sloppiness) because I was in a position where I desperately needed her and didn't feel I could let her go. It never ended well. Either she got worse and worse until I finally had to let her go anyway, or she quit, meaning her behaving like that had been because she didn't want the job and didn't care enough to do her work normally. You were completely manipulated, that's why you feel as if you were. If you need her, offer a $1 or $1.50 raise and say you're sorry that's the best you can do. Be prepared for her to say that's not enough at which point you can say, "Bye, nice knowing you." Otherwise you can just go straight to saying, "Bye, nice knowing you."

SixOfWands

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 1:47 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Tell her exactly that.

You have valued her work over the past 5 years, and had she asked you for a raise, notwithstanding that the economy isn't good, and fewer people are using cleaning help, you would have gladly given her another $1/hour. You feel manipulated, though, and were considering letting her go as a result of the stunt. Ultimately, though, you will offer her the $1/hour more for an agreement that she will stay at least 6 months. Otherwise, you'll offer her a good reference, and wish her well.

amother

Amethyst

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 2:09 pm

Do not let your cleaning lady go before offering $1 raise!!! If you are happy regardless of the trick she played on you, try to hold on to her!
It is so hard to find someone else and train a new person!!!
Absolutely do not give her $3 extra per hour, that's an insane raise at one time!!!

SixOfWands

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 2:14 pm

amother [ Amethyst ] wrote:

It depends how often she comes, and how many hours. Is she asking for another $30 a week? Or another $120?

amother

Amethyst

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 2:27 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

It depends how often she comes, and how many hours. Is she asking for another $30 a week? Or another $120?

Not really!!!
Where I live cleaning ladies take a certain rate, let's say between $13 and $15/h.
If hers takes now $13 I don't think it's fair that she should now get $16 regardless of how many hours she works for her!!!
It brings up the rate for every other lady in the neighborhood and she could decide to go up another $3 next year???
(Unless her lady is currently working under normal rate!!!)

amother

Royalblue

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 2:34 pm

Can you meet her 1/2 way $1.50
Also let her know that the joke was not appreciated
And for that price she needs to up her game.
For example- always on time, never leave early, and give you notice if she will be out,
Pesach will be here soon enough
If by then you see other things she does that bothers you, let her finish Pesach, then you could give her 2 weeks notice.

I wonder what would have happened if she didn’t see you so desperate.
You need to learn to have a poker face with her until you can digest news

amother

Pumpkin

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 2:52 pm

Would not want to let her go however I know myself and wouldn’t be able to keep her would not feel comfortable at all with her in the house- and would not want to reward this behavior it’s like asking for more- and she should not think you are desperate as it won’t end well

cuffs

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 3:03 pm

Totally inappropriate.
I would not want her anymore for that. But if you do offer $1 or $2 raise

amother

Firebrick

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 3:05 pm

If you give in to her, she will always feel that you are desperate and she has the upper hand. She behaved despicably.

causemommysaid

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 3:09 pm

It was a nasty joke but I wouldn't expect professional behavior from a day laborer who doesn't earn a lot. It's not like she was ever taught to be professional.

I would offer a raise based on what the going rate in the community is. In my community, the rate is $15 an hour so I would go up a dollar if she was earning that already. If she was earning $12 or $13 I would go up to the going rate.

I would also say I don't appreciate the joke.

Amarante

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 3:28 pm

I wouldn’t cut off my nose to spite my face so I would do anything within reason to keep a cleaning lady who had been coming for three years and who I could trust and who did god work.

I would probably increase by $3 per hour if necessary because I would pay that to retain my cleaning lady who has been working for me for a long time and who I can trust.

She is not an executive whose business judgment and skills I care about so who cares if she did something foolish whether it was to negotiate or whether she really had another job offer.

Having a reliable cleaning lady is worth whatever it takes because the alternative makes my life much more difficult.

I pay my cleaning lady quite a bit because I want to make sure that she can’t do better anyplace else. She has been coming to me for many years. I trust her. I don’t have to train her or tell her what to do. And I also don’t want to exploit someone who works for me and I know that she can use the money and I can afford it.

amother

Blush

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 3:37 pm

I usually err on the side of keeping a good employee, but this would weird me out. When our cleaning provider wanted to increase the flat fee we pay for our weekly clean, she texted me and said that she wanted an increase from $115 to $130 and gave a couple of reasons. I said yes, and that was it. The whole charade OP describes just strikes me as off.

octopus

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 3:47 pm

It doesn't really sound like she was joking. More like she will reconsider staying if you can offer better than the babysitting job.

amother

Forestgreen

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 4:11 pm

amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:

If you give in to her, she will always feel that you are desperate and she has the upper hand. She behaved despicably.

Despicable is a very strong word.

amother

Green

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 5:49 pm

Very odd. I wouldn’t trust her any longer. Start looking for a new cleaning lady.

Amarante

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 6:49 pm

amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:

If you give in to her, she will always feel that you are desperate and she has the upper hand. She behaved despicably.

Who cares if she thinks she has the upper hand. I am not playing psychologic tactical games with my cleaning lady.

If she continues to be reliable; trustworthy and does the job as well as before, what difference does it make if she thinks she won and got a pay raise.

I am basing this in terms of what an incredible hassle it would be to attempt to find another cleaning lady like the one I have now. I don't have to tell her what to do except in terms of pointing out something that isn't regular to do on a specific day. I can trust her alone in the house. I can trust her with valuables. She knows where everything is and how to do it. I have trained her.

What is the point of getting rid of a long term reliable cleaning lady because of something completely irrelevant to her job performance?

CrazyDaisie

Sun, Dec 06 2020, 6:55 pm

Amarante wrote:

This is an important factor. It's important to be nice to employees, but it's also important not to underpay them. Because with just being nice, it might well be that the friendship will not be reciprocated.

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