Tznius rules/ridiculous edition

FranticFrummie

Mon, Dec 07 2020, 4:08 am

Any building or home that has women or girls in it, should have blackout curtains that are never to be opened. To be machmir, the windows should be boarded over entirely, and that is admirable.

If a man decides to peek in your windows you are responsible for his aveiros, and you must protect him from his yetzer hara at all costs.

He can't help it, that's just the way he was made.

(I have a horrible feeling that if Lev Tahor had access to computers, they'd be nodding their heads and saying "Darn, I knew we forgot something! Let's implement this right away.") Sad

amother

Amber

Mon, Dec 07 2020, 5:13 am

giselle wrote:

Chumash may not be taught as it covers many untznius topics, including mentioning women’s names.

Jumping on this:

Only girls without names should be accepted to the school. Parents who give their daughters a thing as untznius as a female name are pritzus!

If it is necessary to refer to an individual girl she should be called "bat Shel 'father's name's"

amother

Navy

Mon, Dec 07 2020, 5:41 am

What about the parents? Would you have this school just take any girls from any background?

I say, it must be verified that mothers and grandmothers of the girls not just cover their eyebrows but rather shave them off entirely. If very necessary for sholom bayis, they could get a heter for wearing fake eyebrows, inside their own homes.

In any event, why stop at eyebrows? The eyes of a woman are seductive, too. The girls, their mothers and grandmothers should either wear completely black square sunglasses and a dark face mask at all times, or do the decent thing and opt for a burkah. If wearing a burkah, the holes in the grid may not be larger than 2 mm each.

MangoSmoothie

Mon, Dec 07 2020, 10:23 am

amother [ Cerise ] wrote:

I get that this thread is satire
But of course its about making fun of what many perceive as "extreme" in modesty or just plain crazy
Putting snoods and tichels in that category is very offensive.

Oy, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it like that! I wear snoods and tichels all the time. The joke was supposed to be that they specifically can't wear sheitels because sheitels aren't tznius (but I'm hearing from you that is offensive because some ladies really don't wear sheitels- and I'm genuinely sorry, I didn't think of that) and the part about covering the eyebrows. I will edit my post.

asmileaday

Mon, Dec 07 2020, 11:17 am

ExtraCredit wrote:

Im afraid I’m getting touched.
Next!
Boots are mandatory at all times. No way we can show off the shape of our pretty legs. (Bonus: my legs always look like I’m in boots even when I just wear black tights so I can get away with it! Pays to have tree trunks for legs sometimes!)

Funny you should mention boots. My principal had this gripe about boots reaching just till your skirt with a small gap in between that shows your tights.
She would go on an on how untznius all those neat showing layers were. That it's attractive to see that perfect pattern of boots tights and skirt hem.
I'm not making this up, I promise. It was so ridiculous that I remember it. I can even remember the tone of voice and facial expressions she used.

She also banned middle parts because they were too in style. And would lecture against those that made "choizek parts" by making the despicable middle part and then moving it off center by a tiny drop so it's not considered a "middle part".

Gosh, truth is more ridiculous than fiction.

Chayalle

Mon, Dec 07 2020, 12:48 pm

ExtraCredit wrote:

I’m trying to open up a school which will likely bring Moshiach still before the covid vaccine kicks in.
Help me come up with rules. I came up with a few for a start:
*Bangs must be no longer than the uppermost part of the eyebrows.
*If you wear a middle part make sure it’s not perfectly straight. The straight white line might be too attractive.
*If you prefer hanging earrings figure out a way to glue it to your ear so it should hang upside down instead of dangling. It’s less attractive this way.

What are you talking about?!!!!

A zig-zag middle part is totally provocative. Who knows what thoughts this could leave anyone with, about straying from the straight and middle path....

(swoons)

amother

Linen

Mon, Dec 07 2020, 1:45 pm

asmileaday wrote:

My principal also had that bug bear about boots and skirt. Oh my!

ExtraCredit

Mon, Dec 07 2020, 2:11 pm

amother [ Navy ] wrote:

Of course we have rules for the parents as well. We take children only from the finest and holiest homes.

Parents in our school are expected to:

*sleep in 2 separate bedrooms. Most tznius this way. Mehudar is if in 2 separate houses. Mehadrin min hamehadrin if in 2 separate cities!

*the family car must be a model from the 1980’s. Must have at least 73 scratches, 24 dents, one window missing-black garbage bag instead, a muffler dragging on the road when you drive, and an awful stench emanating from the trunk each time you open it.

*the father should always call the wife either “house” or “herr nur” because that sounds like “herner” meaning horns. (Horns is still less degrading than house. So preferably, on clean days he should say “herr nur” and on nidda days he should call her “house”. The sound of it will help him keep the harchakos...). Never in their life should the kids hear the father calling the wife “mommy” or anything else half respectable. It’s the epi-tomb of pritzus.

amother

Vermilion

Mon, Dec 07 2020, 2:29 pm

ExtraCredit wrote:

I'm having issues with calling her "house" it is bringing to my trief mind the 70's song "She's A Brick House " that could lead to mental images of a disco ball and make someone aware of the existence of mixed dancing.

ExtraCredit

Mon, Dec 07 2020, 2:31 pm

amother [ Vermilion ] wrote:

Say what??????? ~~Disco?????????~~
I don’t understand a word you just wrote. Anyone who understands any of that is obviously not accepted to our school.

giselle

Mon, Dec 07 2020, 2:36 pm

asmileaday wrote:

We can probably start a spin-off of real life examples of the crazy things we were taught.

amother

Green

Mon, Dec 07 2020, 4:38 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

This is what the Talban says