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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

Bad news

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amother

Silver

Tue, Dec 08 2020, 12:01 am

cbsp wrote:

I have a relative that DH calls the "grim reaper" for that reason. Especially when they call at 7am.

Love this!
I'm going to change their name in my contacts as the grim reaper!! LOL

amother

Silver

Tue, Dec 08 2020, 12:04 am

shanie5 wrote:

I had gone to the OBGYN for a regular checkup. I was in my 9th month. The Dr. listened for the heartbeat with his stethescope. He moved it around a lot. Then he put it on a monitor so that I could hear what he heard. So I could slowly come to the realization that he couldn't find the heartbeat. He didn't confirm it, but sent me for a sonogram. While the tech was working, he asked why I was sent (this was over 30 years ago an sonograms were not routine in pregnancy). I said "Dr. couldn't hear the heartbeat". The tech responded "what he's not hearing, I'm not seeing".

For me, this was a very gentle way of letting me understand that my baby was no longer alive. I have always appreciated the way they eased me into it.

I'm reminded of my miscarriages, the sonographers themselves were always so thoughtful and caring.

heidi

Tue, Dec 08 2020, 12:32 am

I had to tell my daughter and sister about someone they were close to who had died.
I didn't know the person and that really helped me be able to give the news and then be there for them. Let them cry and question while I could tried to comfort the people I love while not personally grieving.

amother

Sapphire

Tue, Dec 08 2020, 1:58 am

Geulanow, this is such an important and helpful thread. Thank you for starting it - we can all learn so much.

amother

Maroon

Tue, Dec 08 2020, 4:14 am

I also like the idea of a one line leadup. And then the news in a direct, yet calm and comforting manner.

I have bad news.
xx died last night.

PinkFridge

Tue, Dec 08 2020, 9:41 am

cbsp wrote:

I have a relative that DH calls the "grim reaper" for that reason. Especially when they call at 7am.

That sounds similar to the "joy spreaders" as we used to call them.

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