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Diary with lock = bad chinuch?



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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Dec 09 2020, 2:18 pm
DD will be turning 7 soon, and she's very into writing and reading. I was thinking of getting her a cute feminine diary/journal that has a small lock and key. But DH questioned whether it's a bad idea to plant in her head the concept of keeping secrets.

B"H she's a healthy, well-adjusted child with no secrets she would need to keep, nor would we be reading her diary with or without a lock. I found a different journal that has no lock that she'd be perfectly happy with, though I think the design on the one that locks is a little cuter. WWYD?
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amother
Honeydew


 

Post Wed, Dec 09 2020, 2:21 pm
There is nothing wrong with a child having private thoughts. Children should be taught that certain things are not allowed to be secrets, for example, if an adult or another child does inappropriate things and tells them it's their secret. But that doesn't mean they can't have any secrets at all.
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 09 2020, 2:23 pm
I don't see the problem with it. Kids like privacy too.
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yonabets




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 09 2020, 2:26 pm
I agree with you husband.
Buy her one with a lock if she ask for it..
Anyway even without a lock you should never read it without asking permission..


Last edited by yonabets on Wed, Dec 09 2020, 2:27 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Rappel




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 09 2020, 2:26 pm
I think it's good chinuch to give children a reasonable space that is theirs alone.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 09 2020, 2:28 pm
I think its a GOOD thing for kids to have their own private space, even if its a lock that you can pick with a bobby pin.
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amother
Seashell


 

Post Wed, Dec 09 2020, 2:35 pm
Often kids are more concerned that their sibs or someone else might read their private thoughts.

Vote for the lock. and it is an opportunity to talk to her about it.
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amother
Natural


 

Post Wed, Dec 09 2020, 3:31 pm
amother [ Seashell ] wrote:
Often kids are more concerned that their sibs or someone else might read their private thoughts.

Vote for the lock. and it is an opportunity to talk to her about it.

I agree with this... let her have it, and it's a good time to have a conversation with her to make sure she knows that she can always tell you guys anything and you'll never be upset at her over anything she confides in you about
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amother
Teal


 

Post Wed, Dec 09 2020, 7:26 pm
Children are entitled to privacy, too. Go for it. Not that those locks are a huge deterrent. Anyone with a bobby pin and patience can spring them.

I got a diary (no lock) when I was 7. I filled it with really racy stuff like "Mom bought me four pairs of knee socks with lace!" "Spelling test today." "Went to Shoshana's birthday party. Wore my new knee socks with lace trim." Still, this was my diary and I would have been furious if I caught anyone reading it. I shredded it at some point because it was so boring and lame, but if I still had it, I would still be furious if anyone read it.
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Genius




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 09 2020, 7:37 pm
The only thing it teaches her is that a diary is a private thing.
I look at it as the same concept as the fact that our brains aren’t see-through because most of our thoughts are nobody’s business. Diaries are nobody’s business too. Not the same thing but you get my gist.
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