Who do you write the wedding check to?

liveandlove.ima

Wed, Dec 09 2020, 9:15 pm

zaq wrote:

Chaim Helfgoot and/or Esther Berman. Because kallah may or may not be changing her name, they may or may not have opened an account yet with her married name, bank may or may not allow a deposit made out to Chaim and Esther Helfgoot absent proof that there is such a person, since she doesn't exist before the wedding.

Mr. & Mrs. Chaim Helfgoot? You have got to be kidding me. What is this, the 1940s in Stepford?

I must be the only person here reading this post "Chazan" Helfgot LOL

So now if it's Mr. & Mrs. Chazan Helfgot does the wife also sing? Laugh

amother

Peach

Wed, Dec 09 2020, 10:25 pm

amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:

It's just a check. Not some engraved jewelry or artwork. Who cares? Somebody is giving me money and instead of being thankful I'm going to stew over being Mrs. New-Husband? Wow. I'd hate to go through life that easily annoyed.

This, 100%. I can't imagine this being more than a teeny tiny blip on a radar, and I'm bewildered by all the comments about how wrong and offensive it is. To my recollection, I've never refered to a woman as "Mrs. Husbands name" and I don't recall if I was ever addressed that way, but I don't get the anger about it.

essie14

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 1:17 am

In Israel the banks are much more strict. The checks made out to DH and Essie LastName were such a pain to deposit. First we had to register our marriage, then open a joint bank account. It took a few weeks.
It was much easier to deposit the checks which were only made out to one of us and I appreciated that. Now that's what I do. Whichever side invited us, that's usually who I make out the check to (kallah or chattan, never the parents).

amother

Azure

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 1:35 am

amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:

I wouldn't stew over it. But it would be annoying. I'm sure there are things that annoy you too. Would you be annoyed if 15 years after your marriage, you had a baby and at the brit, someone assumed you hadn't changed your name and wrote you a check for Ms. Maiden Name? Maybe.

It definitely might be annoying to try to cash that check, just as it would be annoying for me to try to cash a check made out to Mrs. Moshe Cohen.

amother

Orchid

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 1:19 pm

amother [ Brown ] wrote:

The banks accept any check for Deposit into any account unless its an LLC a Corp or an INC.

Not in USA, or at least NY
They are getting very strict.

I usually give a check when I know the family making the wedding is short of funds. Just to be not seen as a total wierdo, I write the check out to last name only, like "Cohn" so they can do what they want and on the card I say, "please use this for any wedding expenses", so it is pretty clear it can go to the parents.

If both sides have money, I still write out check to either last name, but without added note.

amother

Red

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 2:25 pm

zaq wrote:

Doesn't sound good? The bank doesn't give two hoots about what sounds good. The bank cares about legal entities. And this may have escaped your notice, but not all women change their surname when they marry. Even if they do, until they bring a marriage certificate, which you don't get from the county clerk until after you send in the appropriate documentation--AFTER the wedding--the bank may not allow an account to be opened in the married name. Banks differ in this regard, but a wedding invitation and a ketubah don't cut it.

My bank accepted our marriage license. We didn't need to wait for the marriage certificate. I didn't change the name on my account- the name on the account stayed the same. They said that this is enough to prove that I'm the intended recipient of the check. I didn't change names and they said it's still good enough.

Cheiny

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 2:34 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

The parents? The chosson? The kalla? Or both does it depend from what side you are coming to the wedding?

The couple, of course! Mr. and Mrs...

amother

Amethyst

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 9:14 pm

amother [ Red ] wrote:

You still had to go down to a bank branch and sit down and talk to a real live person, though. It’s still much easier to have checks made out to cash.

amother

Orchid

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 9:18 pm

amother [ Amethyst ] wrote:

You still had to go down to a bank branch and sit down and talk to a real live person, though. It’s still much easier to have checks made out to cash.

As I said before, the banks here have gotten much stricter and they don't let you deposit checks made out to "cash". They always warn me that next time they won't accept it. Luckily they say that each time!