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salt


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Thu, Dec 10 2020, 1:21 am
That is a ton of money, you're right.
I'm not sure it will help you for this time, and I don't know how schools really work in the US, but could you approach the school management and ask them to come out with some rule - teacher's gifts are not allowed to be more than $10 per child. It's an unnecessary extra cost and a strain on many parents.
Alternatively, could you say to the mother collecting that you are giving your own gift this year, therefore you're not participating. Then send in a nice small box of chocolates or a note with your daughter.
$40 is TONS (especially if you have more than 1 child in school).
I am often involved in collecting money for Purim and end-of-year gifts in my kids' kindergartens and schools in Israel, and we debate whether to ask for 15 shekels or perhaps 5 or 10, because 15 may be too much!
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amother


OP
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Thu, Dec 10 2020, 1:33 am
salt wrote: | That is a ton of money, you're right.
I'm not sure it will help you for this time, and I don't know how schools really work in the US, but could you approach the school management and ask them to come out with some rule - teacher's gifts are not allowed to be more than $10 per child. It's an unnecessary extra cost and a strain on many parents.
Alternatively, could you say to the mother collecting that you are giving your own gift this year, therefore you're not participating. Then send in a nice small box of chocolates or a note with your daughter.
$40 is TONS (especially if you have more than 1 child in school).
I am often involved in collecting money for Purim and end-of-year gifts in my kids' kindergartens and schools in Israel, and we debate whether to ask for 15 shekels or perhaps 5 or 10, because 15 may be too much! |
I’ve been thinking about speaking with the school to set rules about gifts. Honestly, the mothers collecting for the class gift thing should be abolished to spare the embarrassment and pressure on those who can’t afford. I was planning on sending a baked good with a nice card until I was so sweetly told that I was the only one not on the class card.
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salt


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Thu, Dec 10 2020, 1:40 am
amother [ OP ] wrote: | I’ve been thinking about speaking with the school to set rules about gifts. Honestly, the mothers collecting for the class gift thing should be abolished to spare the embarrassment and pressure on those who can’t afford. I was planning on sending a baked good with a nice card until I was so sweetly told that I was the only one not on the class card. |
That's just downright mean. The class card should just read "...from class X"
But anyway, so what. So you're name won't be on the card, because you gave your own gift.
Do yo think the teacher goes down the list and checks off comparing with the class list to see who is and isn't there?
Well if she does, then she doesn't deserve the gift either
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sim


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Thu, Dec 10 2020, 6:29 am
I am a teacher, and quite a few of the parents don't participate in the class gift. Often I'll get instead a lovely card accompanied by a chocolate bar or a small cake, and I think it's absolutely lovely. Don't worry about it!
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notshanarishona


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Thu, Dec 10 2020, 6:29 am
$10 lee teacher/ assistant is pretty standard. That being said pay what you can afford, even if ifs $5 each and just tell the class mother thars the best you csn do.
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notshanarishona


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Thu, Dec 10 2020, 7:48 am
As a teacher, I have had parents give a chocolate bar with a note. Not every parent contributes to the gifts and it doesn’t have to be something that costs money. Trust me teachers appreciate it of course but arent in teaching for the money.
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amother


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Thu, Dec 10 2020, 8:39 am
My kids are in a school where everyone uses email-it is the school's main form of communication. The PTA send out email blasts to the entire parent body-many of them, stating pleas sign up for teachers appreciation gifts. There is an option for if you have one kid or multiple kids (like $40/75) for the holiday which is coming up or to donate now for RH/Chanukah/Purim/EOY and to donate or not is always an option. You can choose to send a check to the chair or not. Nobody calls, nobody pressures. I am sure if you sent a lesser check you would get the sand thank you and nobody would bat an eye. The email does say these are the families that have thus far participated. It is a very long list (maybe there are 5-600 families in the school) and I only check to see if I remembered to send in. Nobody is examining it. If someone is not on the list, not that I would notice, but I would assume they either didn't get around to it or were doing something more costly or special.
I highly recommend this system.
Something I've also always noted/wondered, with so many people on financial need/scholarship are they being show-off/marchers by now being generous donors?
I don't begrudge, just intrigued as I know Hashem is in charge of finances and has plans of all of us, but I know someone who is on scholarship, food..... but their name is on a nice plaque in our new Shul, high on the journal list of Mikva donors.....
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