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Class Chanukah gifts to teachers
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amother




Sapphire
 

Post Thu, Dec 10 2020, 12:57 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
It's not my mom, I didn't post it. And this didn't happen this year. But I really understand where she's coming from.
The accepted tip amount is usually $25-$50. The point isn't that teachers expect more. I think that it's disrespectful of a school to give a combined $50 cash tip for a teacher. Especially for a main teacher.
If everyone would tip separately, the amount would be much greater. When a school collects money for chanuka gifts, they usually buy a small gift and don't give a small amount of cash. A $25 gift is more appropriate and respectful than $50 cash.


I'm sorry, I mixed up your post with the other amothers post.

As you state, if it disrespectful of the SCHOOL to give such a small amount, then let the school give more money. But leave the parents alone.

And I want to point out- you said teachers get more if everyone gives separately- that actually isnt also true. Case in point: my son's school tells everyone to give individually to rebbeim, but collects for english teachers. They asked for $20 for English teacher/assistant. I am only sending 10, because that is what I can afford. The teacher will never know because it's all pooled together.

The rebbi is going to get nothing from me. I cant send in $10 because that is "not respectable." But I also cant afford to give him 25 (which I understand is the minimum expected amount). If they would have pooled together the money for rebbeim, I would have contributed 10 like I did for english.
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amother




Floralwhite
 

Post Thu, Dec 10 2020, 1:03 pm
amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:
I'm sorry, I mixed up your post with the other amothers post.

As you state, if it disrespectful of the SCHOOL to give such a small amount, then let the school give more money. But leave the parents alone.

And I want to point out- you said teachers get more if everyone gives separately- that actually isnt also true. Case in point: my son's school tells everyone to give individually to rebbeim, but collects for english teachers. They asked for $20 for English teacher/assistant. I am only sending 10, because that is what I can afford. The teacher will never know because it's all pooled together.

The rebbi is going to get nothing from me. I cant send in $10 because that is "not respectable." But I also cant afford to give him 25 (which I understand is the minimum expected amount). If they would have pooled together the money for rebbeim, I would have contributed 10 like I did for english.


I never mentioned anything about the parents. This has nothing to do with the parents. But posters love to attack others without bothering to read or comprehend the post they're attacking. All I said that it's disrespectful of a school to give that amount in cash to a teacher and I understand a teacher being embarrassing by it. This has nothing to do with the parents and the amount they give. The school has a pool of money, instead of dividing it and giving each teacher a small amount of cash, it's more respectful to give a small gift. I thought this is the norm in most schools.
Even if 1/2 the class doesn't tip individually, the teacher would come home with more than $50 combined from the entire class.
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amother




Azure
 

Post Thu, Dec 10 2020, 1:14 pm
It is still ridiculous to describe this as mortifying.
And I'm a teacher. I find your post an embarrassment to the profession.
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chocolatecake




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Dec 10 2020, 1:14 pm
I have three school age kids. I did not get a single phone call from class mothers. The PTA takes care of everything and I got probably 5 emails from each school reminding me to give money. The suggested amount was around $35 per kid but my sons school was very clear that the rebbe is not included in the collection. The emails did say to write your kids name how you want it to appear on the card. I think the PTA should just write love your 5th grade students but honestly I don't think any teacher is going thru the list to see which kids don't give. I actually really appreciate these collections because I want to show appreciation to my kids teachers and this is a lot easier and cheaper than sending gifts to everyone.

This collection for my girls school takes care of literally the whole school besides the special ed department, all teachers including gym art etc, assistants, office staff etc.
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amother




Floralwhite
 

Post Thu, Dec 10 2020, 1:23 pm
amother [ Azure ] wrote:
It is still ridiculous to describe this as mortifying.
And I'm a teacher. I find your post an embarrassment to the profession.


Why? Would you rather get $50 cash combined from the entire class (20-30 kids) or rather a small gift like a cookbook or so? What would make you feel better and more appreciated? Do you think it's respectful of the school to give a small cash amount to each teacher?
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allthingsblue




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Dec 10 2020, 1:26 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
Why? Would you rather get $50 cash combined from the entire class (20-30 kids) or rather a small gift like a cookbook or so? What would make you feel better and more appreciated?


Cookbooks cost $30. Is that a small gift?
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amother




Floralwhite
 

Post Thu, Dec 10 2020, 1:29 pm
allthingsblue wrote:
Cookbooks cost $30. Is that a small gift?


Yes. That's my point. The school giving the teachers a small $25-$50 gift is more respectful than giving $50 cash combined from the entire class. The point isn't how much it costs, the point is how it's presented. I think it's disrespectful of a school to collect money from all parents for a chanuka gift for teachers and then just split the money and give each teacher a small cash amount. I think a gift, however small, shows the teachers that they care and appreciate them. $50 cash doesn't show the appreciation a care like a small gift does.
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chocolatecake




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Dec 10 2020, 1:42 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
Yes. That's my point. The school giving the teachers a small $25-$50 gift is more respectful than giving $50 cash combined from the entire class. The point isn't how much it costs, the point is how it's presented. I think it's disrespectful of a school to collect money from all parents for a chanuka gift for teachers and then just split the money and give each teacher a small cash amount. I think a gift, however small, shows the teachers that they care and appreciate them. $50 cash doesn't show the appreciation a care like a small gift does.


I don't understand where all the money is going. Assuming conservatively that there are 20 kids in the class and 15 moms gave $25 than you have 375. If there is 8 teachers who all get equals 46.88 per teacher. But this is only once class. There are at least 4 classes if there are 4 high school grades and I doubt there are 32 teachers. Either parents gave less, very few parents gave or the PTA is giving out small gifts and the rest is being used as a fundraiser the same way mishloach manos is a fundraiser where we know not all money collected is being spent on the actual mishloach manos.
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notshanarishona




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Dec 10 2020, 1:47 pm
amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:
OP, I'm with you. Ita absolutely insane how chanuka is turned into a grand tipping event as if we are all atm machines. I'm getting nonstop calls/texts/emails to send in money. I think especially this year with covid, people need to understand that not everyone can afford it. My finances were affected badly by covid. I am behind in paying credit card bills, is it normal that I should tip teachers instead of paying bills? The problem is that the teachers dont know my financial situation and I dont want them to think badly of me or my children if I dont give.

I think that teachers who were NOT affected by covid should be understanding of those of us who were affected. Every teacher I know has gotten the same paycheck as always throughout covid, whether they taught a whole day on zoom or 45 minutes on a phone conference


Except the teachers who had to pay a private babysitter because their own kids don’t have in person school. Or the teachers who have been out sick or while their kids are in quarantine losing huge amounts of money beyond sick days. Finances are rough for just about everyone now, trust me I am talking from experience.
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amother




Beige
 

Post Thu, Dec 10 2020, 2:05 pm
notshanarishona wrote:
Except the teachers who had to pay a private babysitter because their own kids don’t have in person school. Or the teachers who have been out sick or while their kids are in quarantine losing huge amounts of money beyond sick days. Finances are rough for just about everyone now, trust me I am talking from experience.


So then you were affected by COVID and not referencing you.
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amother




Azure
 

Post Thu, Dec 10 2020, 2:09 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
Why? Would you rather get $50 cash combined from the entire class (20-30 kids) or rather a small gift like a cookbook or so? What would make you feel better and more appreciated? Do you think it's respectful of the school to give a small cash amount to each teacher?

A gift is a gift. I think it is super tacky to state preferences. Whatever I would get, I try to accept graciously.
Again, your posts makes the rest of us look greedy and ungrateful.
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amother




Coral
 

Post Thu, Dec 10 2020, 2:55 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
It's not my mom, I didn't post it. And this didn't happen this year. But I really understand where she's coming from.
The accepted tip amount is usually $25-$50. The point isn't that teachers expect more. I think that it's disrespectful of a school to give a combined $50 cash tip for a teacher. Especially for a main teacher.
If everyone would tip separately, the amount would be much greater. When a school collects money for chanuka gifts, they usually buy a small gift and don't give a small amount of cash. A $25 gift is more appropriate and respectful than $50 cash.

If you don’t set expectations, you won’t be disappointed. It’s is a gift, not part of her salary and not something which is owed to her. I am grateful for every gift I get, and I am not disappointed when I don’t get, because I don’t expect gifts in the first place.
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amother




Coral
 

Post Thu, Dec 10 2020, 3:01 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
I never mentioned anything about the parents. This has nothing to do with the parents. But posters love to attack others without bothering to read or comprehend the post they're attacking. All I said that it's disrespectful of a school to give that amount in cash to a teacher and I understand a teacher being embarrassing by it. This has nothing to do with the parents and the amount they give. The school has a pool of money, instead of dividing it and giving each teacher a small amount of cash, it's more respectful to give a small gift. I thought this is the norm in most schools.
Even if 1/2 the class doesn't tip individually, the teacher would come home with more than $50 combined from the entire class.

You are conflating two different kinds of gifts, and then getting upset when you are called out. This whole thread was started to talk about mothers collecting money to give to teachers. If the school gave that teacher $50, then it was from the school and not from the mothers, and it wasn’t from every student. It is not disrespectful for a school to give a small gift to a teacher. What IS disrespectful is for teachers to EXPECT a gift, either from the school OR from the parents.
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amother




Coral
 

Post Thu, Dec 10 2020, 3:04 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
Why? Would you rather get $50 cash combined from the entire class (20-30 kids) or rather a small gift like a cookbook or so? What would make you feel better and more appreciated? Do you think it's respectful of the school to give a small cash amount to each teacher?

I would rather $50 than a small gift that may or may not be used or to my liking.
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amother




Floralwhite
 

Post Thu, Dec 10 2020, 3:06 pm
amother [ Coral ] wrote:
You are conflating two different kinds of gifts, and then getting upset when you are called out. This whole thread was started to talk about mothers collecting money to give to teachers. If the school gave that teacher $50, then it was from the school and not from the mothers, and it wasn’t from every student. It is not disrespectful for a school to give a small gift to a teacher. What IS disrespectful is for teachers to EXPECT a gift, either from the school OR from the parents.


The $50 is from the money collected from all parents towards teachers chanuka gifts and instead of the school giving a gift they gave cash. It's not a gift from the school.
I'm not a teacher, I'm a mom that's very grateful to my kids teachers and think that they need to be treated respectfully. In my opinion, the school collecting money from parents and giving the teacher a small amount of cash is disrespectful and shows the teacher that they couldn't be bothered putting thought into a gift. A gift shows more appreciation. This isn't about teachers expecting a gift, it's about what the school is doing with the gift money collected from parents.
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amother




Coral
 

Post Thu, Dec 10 2020, 3:06 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
Yes. That's my point. The school giving the teachers a small $25-$50 gift is more respectful than giving $50 cash combined from the entire class. The point isn't how much it costs, the point is how it's presented. I think it's disrespectful of a school to collect money from all parents for a chanuka gift for teachers and then just split the money and give each teacher a small cash amount. I think a gift, however small, shows the teachers that they care and appreciate them. $50 cash doesn't show the appreciation a care like a small gift does.

Again, you are conflating two types of giving. There is the school giving, and there is parents collecting and giving money from each family, or whoever participates. When the school gives a bonus, it isn’t dependent on how many kids are in the class, all teachers across the board get the same gift. When parents collect, it depends who participates and how much they give.
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amother




Turquoise
 

Post Thu, Dec 10 2020, 3:09 pm
I’m a class mother. The recommendation was $20 per kid. Some people gave that some gave more and some gave less. I put it out on the class chat and anyone who didn’t give...I just let them be. I’m not pm’ing anyone about it.
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amother




Floralwhite
 

Post Thu, Dec 10 2020, 3:11 pm
amother [ Coral ] wrote:
Again, you are conflating two types of giving. There is the school giving, and there is parents collecting and giving money from each family, or whoever participates. When the school gives a bonus, it isn’t dependent on how many kids are in the class, all teachers across the board get the same gift. When parents collect, it depends who participates and how much they give.


But the school is collecting the money from the parents. The gift isn't coming from the school, it's coming from the parents. And the school giving the teachers a bit of cash, shows that the school doesn't appreciate the teachers enough. It's disrespectful from the SCHOOL, not from the parents. If I'd known that the school is giving the teachers a bit of cash from the money they collected from parents, I'd be upset about it and feel bad for the teacher.
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amother




Black
 

Post Thu, Dec 10 2020, 3:31 pm
Why do the teachers post a lot about getting respect?
Why do they deserve gifts more than any other person?
Why is "gratitude to your teachers" promoted more than to your dental hygienist, mental health therapist, kids OT, your doctor or any other service provider?
I say thank you often and I write a note to the teachers which I dont do for anyone else. But why does gratitude equal large amounts of cash or a physical gift?
We all work hard. We all put in hours outside of our work day. I definitely dont get paid a huge amount and I have student loans for my career (also person/service centered like the jobs listed above- PT, OT, speech, mental health therapist...). Even if you pay a lot, there are expenses. Just like tuition is humungous there are many costs your payment pays for and doesnt mean everyone gets a decent salary.

I get zero gratitude for my job. I know it is critical. But I get no tips, no thank you, no note. I say thank you to everyone but cant afford $25 a kid. I would be excited to get $50 cash because covid hit us hard too.
Let's leave gratitude where it belongs- in words, notes etc.
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Reality




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Dec 10 2020, 3:44 pm
I really disagree with the notion that $50 in cash is tacky but a gift worth that amount or less is respectable.

I'd much prefer cash over a useless gift any day.
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