Kol isha for infant boy

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

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amother

Tue, Dec 22 2020, 5:11 pm

We're BT, and baby's grandparents sometimes play sing-along-songs with female voices for the baby. Is this a concern?

watergirl

Tue, Dec 22 2020, 5:15 pm

No, not even a little bit. In fact, many people hold that recorded voice is not a problem at all anyway.

Last edited by watergirl on Tue, Dec 22 2020, 9:48 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Denim

Tue, Dec 22 2020, 5:17 pm

No it's not an issue. Most things aren't for a baby.

amother

Seagreen

Tue, Dec 22 2020, 5:17 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

We're BT, and baby's grandparents sometimes play sing-along-songs with female voices for the baby. Is this a concern?

Until your son is 9 he can listen to women singing.

He can listen to his grandmother singing past 9.

amother

Tue, Dec 22 2020, 5:20 pm

Thanks for the quick responses. Even if halachically okay, does anyone see a hashkafa problem? You can let kids hear girls singing and all the sudden at 9, you stop allowing it?

MommyM

Tue, Dec 22 2020, 5:21 pm

Kol Isha is only a problem when he's older than 9.

Simple1

Tue, Dec 22 2020, 5:22 pm

Preschool boys in very frum communities are taught by Morahs. So I presume everyone is ok with it.

amother

Natural

Tue, Dec 22 2020, 5:24 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thanks for the quick responses. Even if halachically okay, does anyone see a hashkafa problem? You can let kids hear girls singing and all the sudden at 9, you stop allowing it?

The hashkafa and the Halacha are not separate.
The issue only arises when a child is old enough to recognize a s-xual identity.
Don’t worry. It’s fine.

honeymoon

Tue, Dec 22 2020, 5:25 pm

Not a problem at all. Why would it be a problem hashkafically? I'm assuming if its a kids toy the content would be ok.

Elfrida

Tue, Dec 22 2020, 5:44 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thanks for the quick responses. Even if halachically okay, does anyone see a hashkafa problem? You can let kids hear girls singing and all the sudden at 9, you stop allowing it?

You don't need to do it suddenly when he is nine. Phase it out gradually and he won't even notice.

In kindergarten there will be a lot of the morah singing. Once he is in school that will stop happening. The songs his grandparents were using are designed for infants and they'll stop playing them as he gets older. It doesn't have to be an issue.

amother

Denim

Tue, Dec 22 2020, 5:46 pm

I think your hashkafa question is a great question. It's why some communities switch girls to skirts at 3 because how do you explain the sudden switch at 9 or 12. I would say stop when you think he's old enough to understand the person singing is a girl. I think that would be close to 9 either way.

NotInNJMommy

Tue, Dec 22 2020, 6:05 pm

I think it's important to get Daas Torah even on chumras. Humanity, including yidden, have experienced severely negative consequences when applying chumras that do not have Daas Torah involved.

Last edited by NotInNJMommy on Tue, Dec 22 2020, 6:08 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Tue, Dec 22 2020, 6:07 pm

amother [ Denim ] wrote:

Exactly what I was going for. Makes sense.

amother

Papaya

Tue, Dec 22 2020, 6:08 pm

amother

Vermilion

Tue, Dec 22 2020, 6:11 pm

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

[removed]

I don't even know what this is supposed to mean or how it's supposed to make OP feel.

OP I think you're best off discussing your goals in hashkafa with your husband and mentor/rav.

This forum is so diverse.

Ema of 4

Tue, Dec 22 2020, 6:11 pm

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

[removed]

That’s not very nice. She came here asking if something is an issue, because it’s not something she grew up with.

mommy3b2c

Tue, Dec 22 2020, 6:18 pm

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

[removed]

And this is one of the rudest comments I’ve ever heard of. At least say it under your screen name.

thunderstorm

Tue, Dec 22 2020, 6:24 pm

I reported that distasteful post. I found it very offensive and uncalled for.

amother

Tue, Dec 22 2020, 6:25 pm

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

This is one of the worst cases of BT syndrome I’ve heard of.

One of the worst cases of unnecessarily making assumptions!

If I suffered from BT syndrome, I'd just have told the grandparents to not let him listen to toys and recordings with girls singing. Instead, I wanted to educate myself. So, I came on here to ask a question because I didn't fully understand the halacha, the purpose behind the halacha, the hashkafic issues involved, etc. Now that I have my answer, I'm good.

I know a lot of BTs who suffer from BT syndrome. BTs syndrome is just imposing unnecessary rules without even taking the time to learn the actual rules and the reasoning behind them.

OOTforlife

Tue, Dec 22 2020, 6:27 pm

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

[removed]

This is a rude and unhelpful thing to say after an OP has put herself out there by asking an honest question.

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