What helped your child lose weight?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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amother

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 10:21 am

My 11 yr old dc has been gaining weight steadily the last year or two and is now off the chart. What helped your child lose weight? All ideas appreciated. Also, what did not work?

thunderstorm

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 10:27 am

Following. I am trying to figure this out myself. So far this is what I’ve been doing:

I avoid the diet word.
Never comment of the way he looks.
Give him positive reinforcement. Show him he matters even if he is overweight and it’s not his looks that are important.
I don’t reward or punish with food.
I let the family as a whole know that I will be cooking and preparing healthier foods.
I started working out with my DS together. (He loves working out with me. Otherwise he has zero motivation to move his body).
I need to put in more effort into being there for him in terms of exercise and providing healthier food options. Because he’s willing to go along with it. But I need to be there for him.
Not easy.

amother

Orchid

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 10:31 am

Please make sure he is not pre-diabetic/diabetic/insulin resistant

amother

Navy

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 10:33 am

They are growing now. When the child wants to lose weight that’s when they lose. Don’t push a child to lose weight it’s the worse.

Stars

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 10:34 am

DO NOT PUT YOUR SCHOOL AGED CHILD ON A DIET

amother

Ivory

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 10:38 am

Also following. I have been thinking about starting a thread about dd9 who has become quite chubby. We don't have thin genes like her friends do. She sees her friends eating junk all the time and wants to do the same. We are not the type who gives tons of junk at home but it's just everywhere. And she needs to loose weight.
I don't know how to encourage a child who wants to eat all the yummy things like to friends to change. And how to do it in a healthy way so she has a positive body image and doesn't develop other problems.
Help!

amother

Ivory

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 10:40 am

Navy and stars-- please elaborate. So what do we do?

amother

Navy

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 10:42 am

amother [ Ivory ] wrote:

Navy and stars-- please elaborate. So what do we do?

You try and change the way of eating in the home and wait till she’s old enough to realize she would want to diet and not always do they and they will then be chubby and the world exists of many sizes

Stars

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 10:46 am

amother [ Ivory ] wrote:

Navy and stars-- please elaborate. So what do we do?

You might not need to do anything

Look into Health At Every Size and Intuitive Eating. Try Teaching your kids to eat intuitively from when they are toddlers.

Bodies come in many different sizes and shapes and as long as the child has no health issues (and even if they do, because many times health issues are attached to weight and it’s not necessarily related), you need to work on yourself to accept that every single body will look and act differently and that is okay.

Putting a child on a diet can cause a host of other problems that are a lot worse that living in a bigger body. Living in a fat body isn’t at all that bad. Fatphobia is a whole lot worse to deal with.

Educating yourself is the best thing you can do for your child!

Good luck!

amother

Bisque

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 10:48 am

following as well. my child hasn't "lost" weight" but she isn't "looking" like she's gaining even though she is, she's also growing so that's just how it goes... so not sure you want my advice but ... Smile

Some things to consider.
Is your child actually "fat" or are they big boned or both. My daughter is in the like 99 percentile for weight but she also has a bigger wrist at 10 then I do as an adult. She has her father's genes. I think he might even be medically obese but doesn't look like that, I think "overweight" would be a fairer term. So I tell myself to not get all worked up by the chart. Does she "look" healthy?

The doctor told me that it's not uncommon for kids to get a little chubby before puberty. So take a deep breath Wink

Does your child eat a lot of junk food or healthy food but just in large quantities? We were noticing that my daughter eats large quantities of food even though I serve healthy food.

We just told her that we want her to take a break and if she's still hungry she can take more but sometimes when we are eating we don't realize we are full right away because it takes time for our bodies to register it. Now she'll often tell us "she's done" even if others are still eating at the table.

Her sister who is very thin, takes a very long time to eat....

We also try to encourage her to slow down a little bit when she eats, not to just shovel the food in her mouth but I try not to make it a daily comment type of thing, you don't want eating to be stressful.

In terms of "healthy food". I try as much as my kids are ok with but don't want them to be resentful. She and her sister were both complaining that I make them take too healthy snacks, that their friends are bringing in cookies so we've compromised, caramel covered ricecakes instead of plain (checked the added sugar in the ones I bought is not so much) some chocolate chips mixed in with the trail mix of nuts, raisins and cheerios... that kind of thing.

I also try to find ways for her to get physical exercise that she enjoys. She usually walks home from school which is I think a little under a mile. When it's nice out she likes bikeriding. For Chanukah I suggested to my mother (she asked) to get my kids a membership to an online girls dance aerobics class. My daughter loves it and it's great for her. Try to find things the kid enjoys.

I will say that it's incredibly stressful and my dh worries about her weight and wishes I was more proactive but this is what we do and I really do think she'll be fine, not a size two but probably a beautiful strong larger size which is totally fine.

amother

Bisque

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 10:52 am

amother [ Ivory ] wrote:

hugs. it's really hard when they can watch their friends eat tons of junk and not gain.

we talked to her a lot about different metabolisms and that some people are just more "efficient" they need less fuel to run. That her body is beautiful and strong... we've shown her gymnasts who were larger but we also showed her american ninjas... she needs to see "role models" who are strong and beautiful who look like her.

flowerpower

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 11:17 am

Keep basically only healthy foods in the house
Cook healthy
Pray

My son was pretty chubby at that age. Once he was a teen he put himself on a diet and lost 50 lbs. My other teen wasn’t that motived. Now he started working with a nutritionist. He is older than 11 though. At 11 when the self esteem is at stake you really have to be very careful.

amother

Jade

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 11:30 am

My son is 14 and I wish there was something I could do. Yes it's a problem no he is not just big boned. He will eat and eat and eat some more. He'll eat a half pan of baked ziti or 3 bagels and eggs or something like that and still want more. Forget about the fact that other people might want some too. He's the one pushing ahead and taking the overflowing portion of cholent and handfuls of candy at the Kiddush Sad

his shirts are popping open and he has ZERO motivation to do anything about it. We tried having him work with a nutritionist a few months ago but didn't accomplish anything. And it's so frustrating for me because I know how hard it is to lose it once it's there so even is he decides to try and lose weight in five years, it's scary how much he might pack on by then.

amother

Teal

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 11:40 am

An 11 year old should not be losing weight unless they're morbidly obese. 11 is the cusp of puberty, they're SUPPOSED TO chunk up a bit in advance of all the coming changes. Yes, encourage healthy eating, for the whole family, which you should be doing anyway. If they don't grow into the extra weight in the next 6 months, then consult the doctor and see if there's something else going on. A growing child should almost never be losing weight, so you want to focus on healthy lifestyle, NOT weight loss.

amother

Floralwhite

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 11:50 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

My 11 yr old dc has been gaining weight steadily the last year or two and is now off the chart. What helped your child lose weight? All ideas appreciated. Also, what did not work?

Perhaps become a very active family.

Go on hikes, rock climbing, swimming, dance to music in your home, make gymnastics a thing as in let's see if I can make a split or a backbend etc, make walking to and from school the fun thing to do by mentioning how refreshed you used to feel when you walked, buy a ball, jump rope hoop etc and play. Make spontaneous running races when your family is in a big parking lot..

It's super hard because it involves making drastic lifestyle changes. Daven. Hashem should help you.

amother

Magenta

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 11:54 am

My son at 10 was really over weight.
Not sure what helped. He got braces and retainer so was eating less bec was a pain to remove retainer.
Biked a ton during COVID break.
Start of peuberty. Grew much taller.
He is now 12. He actually lost 30 lb. during COVID. is still 150 lb. but tall- 5’6”.
As much as he had to lose weight his pediatrician wasn’t so happy. Said he doesn’t like to see weight loss at these ages. Just evening out.

amother

White

Fri, Dec 25 2020, 2:21 pm

First of all, my mother drove me crazy about my weight at that age so I am careful not to do the same with my kids. I bought lots of picture book about healthy food groups and why we need them. We talk about medical things like diabetes or the stress that extra weight puts on the body.

Also, I went to a nutritionist for the past few years and I let the kids come once or twice to see how I track my food, drink water, eat 2 fruits, only have a treat once a day after dinner. So they don’t feel threatened by the idea of watching what you eat.

amother

Mistyrose

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 10:36 am

There’s an amazing dietician that is giving a class on child weight, very reasonable. Beware of time differences

https://www.ellynsatterinstitu.....-why/

amother

Ultramarine

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 11:00 am

It's a very difficult & sensitive situation.
Just decide what kind of meals y0u want to serve, what snacks, desserts & get rid of the rest. You won't be able to control what she has out of the house.
About exercise, not sure,
does your daughter have healthy confidence? If not, see if you can sign her up for drama, art etc.
Find out what she is good at & build on that.

amother

Daisy

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 11:49 am

The house only has healthy foods.

I noticed that the kid who was overweight was a total carb addict. I didn't try to reduce carbs at all, so he still is a total carb addict whose favorite food is pasta, and he still gets to eat pasta at least once a day (!), but now his carb fix comes from pasta, which is pretty healthy, and not from cookies and waffles and muffins.

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