Spoon feeding toddler

amother

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 11:06 am

When my 3 yo doesn't want to sit by the table and eat his supper I usually sit next to him and feed it to him. I want to break this habit. He can feed himself like he does at school. But if I don't feed it to him it'll just stay on his plate. Last night I told him his supper is on the table and he can come eat it like a big boy. He chose to play instead and his supper went in the garbage. Advice?

amother

Seafoam

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 11:09 am

I’m not a fan of bribing children in general, but this is what feeding therapists do. Maybe try giving him a sticker every time he takes 3 bites, and then he gets a prize when he has a certain number of stickers. And put a mirror in front of him so he can watch himself self-feed. And/or try giving him finger food only.

amother

Lawngreen

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 11:17 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

He’s not offered a choice in school to play or eat.

He’s three. At supper time the toys are put away, and you sit at the table. No choice.

avrahamama

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 11:28 am

Sometimes he asks me to feed him even at the table. Once I get the first spoon or two in for him he's motivated to eat again. But I find everyone eats better when we all sit down together.

nchr

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 11:29 am

Hunger is a great incentive for kids to eat different foods, feed themselves and behave at the table.

Last edited by nchr on Thu, Dec 24 2020, 7:52 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Navy

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 11:42 am

I don't mind feeding a toddler, especially if I know they don't have the internal cue to eat when their body needs food. I've never had a kid past a certain age ask to be fed so I know it's a passing stage. Some kids just don't notice when they're on empty until they're lying in bed and I'm certainly not giving food then or making them go to bed hungry. Obviously I'm not talking about force feeding, more that mommy feeding him is enough motivation to sit through a normal portion even if he's not really interested otherwise.

amother

Navy

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 11:42 am

nchr wrote:

Hunger is a great incentive for kids to eat different foods, feed themselves and behave.

I've met plenty of kids who don't feel hungry. I was one of them myself.

amother

Emerald

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 11:51 am

You have to teach them and motivate them at the same time. What works for me is I say I'll feed 3 bites then you eat 3 bites by yourself etc. When they eat themselves praise them to the skies, so big... that motivates them.

amother

Peach

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 11:59 am

I didn't do it, and now I regret it. If I would've sat and spoon fed my child would've gotten to know a bigger variety of foods. Now she's going to be 5 and has a very limited taste for things.

ddmom

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 12:13 pm

Maybe it's a way for him to get some attention from mommy?
I definitely would feed my toddler, I don't think he will ask for very long and I think that getting nutrition at age 3 is important!

Rappel

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 12:34 pm

Three thoughts, OP:

1) Supper time is supper time. That is the time everyone must sit at the table. No toys are out by then. Once they're at the table, there is nothing to do but eat ( make sure all other siblings are too far away to squabble with!). When they want to get up, then it's time to get ready for bed (great incentive for little children to stay put!)

2) if it's not a messy food, I let my toddler take her favourite stuffed animal to the table. She wants to "feed" her bunny, so the rule is one bite for the bunny, one bite for her. She then holds a fork-full up to the bunny's mouth, makes a nomming sound, and that same fork then goes right into her mouth. Shockingly, she and bunny usually feel full at the same time.

3) maybe he likes the connection with you? I play Mama Bird with my kids a lot - I spoon-feed them while they pretend to be baby birds. It takes about 10 minutes of my time, they get fed, and we all got to play. That seems like a win in my book.

amother

Amber

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 12:35 pm

ddmom wrote:

Maybe it's a way for him to get some attention from mommy?
I definitely would feed my toddler, I don't think he will ask for very long and I think that getting nutrition at age 3 is important!

See I don’t consider 3 to be a toddler. 1-2= toddler to me. 3-5 = preschooler. Yes this particular child may Have just turned 3 so may be more like 2 but I think it’s ok to have enhanced expectations of him as he eases into his new stage

yiddishmom

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 12:40 pm

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

I might be interpreting wrong but it sounds like you're saying hunger is a great incentive for kids to behave? I hope that's not what you meant.

I don't think NCHR is referring to behavior other than that which is related to supper time.

She means behave as in the child will listen to mommy and come join the family for dinner instead of continuing to play with the lego.

amother

Navy

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 12:42 pm

amother [ Amber ] wrote:

What kind of enhanced expectations? Less attention from mommy?

ddmom

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 12:48 pm

amother [ Amber ] wrote:

To tell you the truth I have a 4yr old at home and although I never feed him because it's not an issue for us I would if that would be the only way he eats!!!
I don't think a normal kid would ask to be fed long term!! Kids for the most part crave independence at that age!

amother

Amber

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 12:50 pm

amother [ Navy ] wrote:

What kind of enhanced expectations? Less attention from mommy?

Not at all. Expectations to start acting more like a big boy. Mom could be sitting right next to him. But he should be encouraging him to feed himself. A 3 year old who feeds himself in school can certainly do it at home. Sounds like he wants to be babied (in which case I’d hold the child on my lap during Pre bed reading, for example) or wants more attention from mom (which she may or may not be able to give) but it’s not outside the norm to expect a 3 year old to feed himself.

nchr

Wed, Dec 23 2020, 1:10 pm

yiddishmom wrote:

Right.