S/o- If your minhag is not to fast minor fasts...

amother

Sat, Dec 26 2020, 9:45 pm

Do you eat differently than you do on regular days? Do you treat the day as if you can't fast for medical reasons, including pregnancy and nursing, or as you having no obligation at all? Other than changes in davening, or if you don't daven the parts that would change, in what way do you acknowledge and observe the fast?

amother

Amber

Sat, Dec 26 2020, 9:52 pm

I read up on the history about the day and we don't eat any treats. My kids learn about the day in school.

amother

Scarlet

Sat, Dec 26 2020, 9:53 pm

Well, I’m not in one of those communities but I can tell you what I do.

I fast unless I have a medical reason not to (pregnant, nursing, not feeling well).

On days I don’t fast, I try to fast at least part of the day and eat only enough not to feel weak/sick.

I’m for sure aware that it’s a fast day even when I’m not fasting.

amother

Silver

Sun, Dec 27 2020, 5:34 am

If it's Tisha bav, which is my minhag to fast and I couldn't do it this year (seventh month, risk of early delivery) I sneaked food quietly, only after chatzos, etc. By 7 o'clock I felt like I'm anyway eating, may as well eat something normal and had a full sandwich. I ate it at home, alone.
On the more minor fast days, like Friday...I never fasted on these days. Went for coffee with a friend. I didn't post on social media, but I wouldn't have posted regardless. Don't judge those who do though.

amother

Lilac

Sun, Dec 27 2020, 6:27 am

No treats that day. Obviously we are aware it's a fastday as our husband and sons fast

nchr

Sun, Dec 27 2020, 8:53 am

Asara b'teves I would eat differently, but not very restrictively. The times I didn't fast on Tisha B'av I only ate barley soup.

All other fasts I wouldn't eat differently but I wouldn't get my children treats, but it's not like I am giving them treats often so it's not significantly different.

amother

Cyan

Sun, Dec 27 2020, 9:04 am

No, I eat regularly. I don’t eat let’s say, a cheesecake on a regular day. But on Friday I absolutely did taste the ends of the Kugel when it came out. I definitely had coffee and I definitely enjoyed it. I’m not going to eat plain rice cakes all day

amother

Olive

Sun, Dec 27 2020, 9:05 am

amother [ Cyan ] wrote:

Why not?

nchr

Sun, Dec 27 2020, 9:06 am

amother [ Olive ] wrote:

Why not?

You're not required to.

amother

Olive

Sun, Dec 27 2020, 9:17 am

nchr wrote:

You're not required to.

Even if you take the position that all women don't fast, do you think you are exempt from recalling the destruction of Yerushalayim? This total disconnect from Jewish history and peoplehood strikes me as deeply problematic.

"כל המתאבל על ירושלים זוכה ורואה בשמחתה"
(בבלי, תענית ל, ע"ב)

amother

Cyan

Sun, Dec 27 2020, 9:25 am

amother [ Olive ] wrote:

Why not?

Because when a woman doesn’t fast she is doing so because she needs the strength and nutrition that comes with eating properly. Rice cakes all day wouldn’t do it. I’d be starving and weak might as well be fasting. Oh and I’m not making this up: my rabbi says to eat normally. But everyone should do as their rabbi and their conscious tells them to

amother

Scarlet

Sun, Dec 27 2020, 9:45 am

Fasting on minor fast days is not “minhag.” It’s halacha. The Halacha also states that someone who is too weak should not fast. In some communities the rabbonim have decided that all women have a blanket heter not to fast because they’re too weak. That doesn’t make fasting a minhag.

amother

Powderblue

Sun, Dec 27 2020, 9:49 am

When I was pregnant and didn’t fast, I had the toughest days. I didn’t want to eat in front of my husband, so I delayed breakfast instead of having my normal cereal and milk. I felt shaky and out of whack all day. I would say that if you are not fasting you should try to eat as close to your regular patterns. Now I am back to fasting and it’s actually better than that crazy shakiness I used to feel (like I would end up eating a donut at 10 am and feeling gross all day).

amother

Turquoise

Sun, Dec 27 2020, 9:54 am

I eat regular.
I’m not fasting because I have a bunch of kids including one with special needs.