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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers
I HATE SUNDAYS help me
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Dec 27 2020, 6:52 pm
I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE
I am losing my mind. My husband works long hard hours. Even on sunday. I am left to watch the kids by myself the entire day. He comes home when I am putting the kids to bed.
My kids give me such a hard time. Non stop whining. Crying. Kvetching. Fighting with each other. They are bored. They have plenty of toys. Even when I sit on the floor to play with them it doesnt last long before they are kvetching again. Oldest is in preschool, doesnt even play nicely when I invite friends for a playdate. I cant ask my friends if I can come over to their houses so my kids can play with theirs or if we can go out together because they all have their husbands home on sunday.
Im losing my sanity. I work full time and can't even have one day to be able to get things done. The whole shabbos I have to keep the kids entertained. By sunday I am done and so are they. Now that its winter, Sundays have become a thousand times worse. No parks, no walks, no where to go nothing to do. Im losing it. They didnt stop kvetching the entire day today. Not one minute of peace of mind. 20 min ago I called my husband crying and asked him to come home NOW. He left work and came home and took over putting the kids to bed and I locked myself in my room and Im crying as I type this. This is not how I imagined having kids would be. Why cant they play nicely just for ONE FREAKIN HOUR.
I want my husband home on sundays. On the rare occasion that he is, I'm on a high. We go out with the kids and it becomes such a nice family day.
At this point its not an option for him to stay home on sundays unless he quits and finds a new job.
Im jealous of everyone who has their husbands home on sunday.
I hate how my life has become. I'm so resentful and I hate that Im resentful. And if I hear my kid cry or kvetch one more time I am going to lose it
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amother
Turquoise


 

Post Sun, Dec 27 2020, 6:56 pm
I am sending you lots of hugs and strength. I can imagine how hard it is. Would you allow screen time? Would they watch kosher videos? even for 15 min?
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Sun, Dec 27 2020, 6:57 pm
Hug Hug Hug Hug
This seems so so hard!
Is it an option to find a babysitter that can have your kids every Sunday for a couple of hours?
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amother
Violet


 

Post Sun, Dec 27 2020, 6:59 pm
I have no advice but I feel the same way! Sunday is such a difficult day
The only thing I can say is be easy on yourself! If you can buy yourself a treat speacial for sundays that will motivate you do that ( I personally love coffee.)
Or maybe take your kids to the pizza store for lunch it breaks up the day plus no mess in your house...

But yeah sundays suck
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Dec 27 2020, 7:00 pm
amother [ Turquoise ] wrote:
I am sending you lots of hugs and strength. I can imagine how hard it is. Would you allow screen time? Would they watch kosher videos? even for 15 min?


Yes I allow screen time. It lasts max 15 min and then theyre whining again
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Dec 27 2020, 7:04 pm
amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:
Hug Hug Hug Hug
This seems so so hard!
Is it an option to find a babysitter that can have your kids every Sunday for a couple of hours?


Im thinking maybe to hire a mothers helper? Would a teenage girl even be interested in entertaining someone elses kids? And how much would it cost me?
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amother
Rose


 

Post Sun, Dec 27 2020, 7:05 pm
I totally get you! My husband is in kollel and though he has a short lunch break the rest of the day can be really hard.

The best advice I can give you is to get out as much as you can. Take them for a walk. The park. Go to an aquarium or mueseum if it's too cold. My kids used to love the library before covid. Sometimes I'll just take them for a drive and we'll listen to a story to keep us busy lol. Something about being cooped up inside all day makes Sundays very hard.
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amother
Lawngreen


 

Post Sun, Dec 27 2020, 7:06 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Im thinking maybe to hire a mothers helper? Would a teenage girl even be interested in entertaining someone elses kids? And how much would it cost me?


Babysitting here is up to $15 an hour but even paying that is the price of one kids admission to a museum. You leave for that hour and get a break.
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naomi2




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 27 2020, 7:06 pm
Get a babysitter.
For a few hrs every Sunday. She should bring activities and take them for a short walk. They may not whine with her. Or sign up the preschool age child for Sunday program.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Dec 27 2020, 7:06 pm
amother [ Violet ] wrote:
I have no advice but I feel the same way! Sunday is such a difficult day
The only thing I can say is be easy on yourself! If you can buy yourself a treat speacial for sundays that will motivate you do that ( I personally love coffee.)
Or maybe take your kids to the pizza store for lunch it breaks up the day plus no mess in your house...

But yeah sundays suck


One of my kids doesnt behave anywhere we go. Taking them to the pizza store by myself is a nightmare.
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amother
Red


 

Post Sun, Dec 27 2020, 7:09 pm
Screen time?
Play dough?
Coloring?
Babysitters?
Sticker charts?
Counting cars from the window?
Paint?
Extra long bubble bath?
“Mommy needs her body to rest on the couch right now. When the timer goes off, Mommy can come help you.” ?
“Mommy’s ears don’t work when there’s kvetching. Can we try to say ‘Mommy please help me’?” ?
“We are going to eat nicely and quietly for 5 minutes. Great job eating so nicely and quietly and no kvetching!” ?

ETA- my husband is also not home on Sunday. I know how overwhelming it gets Hug
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Sun, Dec 27 2020, 7:12 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Im thinking maybe to hire a mothers helper? Would a teenage girl even be interested in entertaining someone elses kids? And how much would it cost me?


I think dropping them off at a babysitters home, if that's an option, would give you the quiet alone time you need. If there's a mothers helper in the house while you're at home, they'll probably end up whining to you.
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 27 2020, 7:17 pm
I remember those days! Blurring into each other kids constantly needing you. Though mine were able to sit by a screen but I didn’t like doing it too often.
All I can say is IT GETS BETTER.
One day they will be older and more independent. They will be able to go places by themselves and arrange their own play dates. They’ll be able to read and play card games.
Do go on birth control so you don’t keep having them one after the other because in that case no guarantees😏. Personally one kid in preschool at a time is about as much as I can handle.
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amother
Maroon


 

Post Sun, Dec 27 2020, 7:17 pm
I feel your pain!!! You are not alone!!! I work to support my family while dh completes his schooling. We have 3 under 6 y.o. All week I work super hard and dh needs his sundays to study. So he’s physically home but totally unavailable! It’s sooooo tough! So being that I’ve been doing this for a bunch of years already, I gave in and I don’t martyr. I send the older 2 out to Sunday clubs and that makes allllll the difference. Then I force myself to go out to that the day doesn’t feel like forever. We usually go to a drive thru and get a treat (munchkins for dunkin or the like) and finally, when my kids are asleep- Sunday night is my “me” night. If I want to go out with friends then I will, otherwise I’ll take a bath and try to treat myself. I do minimal clean up and ask dh before bed to load the dishwasher and clear up anything left on the counters. I’m so sorry for what ur going thru, there’s nothing quite like wanting to to run away from the kids you’re supposed to love ...
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amother
Turquoise


 

Post Sun, Dec 27 2020, 7:19 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Yes I allow screen time. It lasts max 15 min and then theyre whining again

I say to that no screen time ever again if the whining doesn‘t stop TMI
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amother
Taupe


 

Post Sun, Dec 27 2020, 7:26 pm
I feel you! My husband works 7 days a week. Yes, MS also. He works from 11-5:30 and then goes back from 8-10 at night. He’s NEVER home. We see each other on shabbos....
Sunday’s became trip days in our family. I take my kids on trips. I research kid friendly places that they would like and I’m willing to drive up to 1.5 hours away. And now we all look forward to sundays because we’re creating amazing memories together. (Well, me and my kids, my husband is still left out 😩)
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amother
Mint


 

Post Sun, Dec 27 2020, 7:26 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE
I am losing my mind. My husband works long hard hours. Even on sunday. I am left to watch the kids by myself the entire day. He comes home when I am putting the kids to bed.
My kids give me such a hard time. Non stop whining. Crying. Kvetching. Fighting with each other. They are bored. They have plenty of toys. Even when I sit on the floor to play with them it doesnt last long before they are kvetching again. Oldest is in preschool, doesnt even play nicely when I invite friends for a playdate. I cant ask my friends if I can come over to their houses so my kids can play with theirs or if we can go out together because they all have their husbands home on sunday.
Im losing my sanity. I work full time and can't even have one day to be able to get things done. The whole shabbos I have to keep the kids entertained. By sunday I am done and so are they. Now that its winter, Sundays have become a thousand times worse. No parks, no walks, no where to go nothing to do. Im losing it. They didnt stop kvetching the entire day today. Not one minute of peace of mind. 20 min ago I called my husband crying and asked him to come home NOW. He left work and came home and took over putting the kids to bed and I locked myself in my room and Im crying as I type this. This is not how I imagined having kids would be. Why cant they play nicely just for ONE FREAKIN HOUR.
I want my husband home on sundays. On the rare occasion that he is, I'm on a high. We go out with the kids and it becomes such a nice family day.
At this point its not an option for him to stay home on sundays unless he quits and finds a new job.
Im jealous of everyone who has their husbands home on sunday.
I hate how my life has become. I'm so resentful and I hate that Im resentful. And if I hear my kid cry or kvetch one more time I am going to lose it


Just want to say that I relate. Caring for ittle kids can be draining, its a never ending job!
Lots of teenagers love playing with kids. A mothers helper is an awesome idea.
If you want activity ideas I can try to help. How old are your kids?
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mom!




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 27 2020, 7:26 pm
Send whoever is age appropriate to clubs.
Make a schedule. Get dressed and breakfast. Then free play. Whoever plays nicely gets to bake with mommy. Definitely go out with them! Even a trip to the dollar store and they can all choose something.
Visit grandparents.
The only other valuable tip I can give you is to adjust your outlook. This is coming from someone in a similar situation. Sunday’s is not a day to get a single thing done besides for taking care of the kids. I do more than everything online and eliminated almost all errands. I literally don’t do a thing Sunday besides for take care of my kids. Hard, yes. But more manageable once I stopped trying to do it all.
Hatzlacha!
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amother
Dodgerblue


 

Post Sun, Dec 27 2020, 7:37 pm
Omgggggg I could have written this. It's SO hard. The only thing that helps a little is lowering my expectations for what Sunday will be. I just don't get things done like I want to. And I have extra cleaning help to make up for it
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DVOM




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 27 2020, 7:48 pm
I so get you.

Before my husband went to school, he worked as a manager for a very busy chain of stores. He worked every Sunday from 6 am to 7 pm.

I had four children under the age of 6. It was hell. By the time the day ended, I was so drained.

I often bundled them all up and took them to the park. I made friends with neighbors who also didn't have their husbands home and we'd hang out together. I would drive the crew an hour and a half to my mom's house.

All I can tell you is that it passes.

My youngest started primary this year, and Sundays are so lovely. They leave around 8, come back around 2. It still gives us plenty of time to shmooze, bake, take walks, visit parks, get together with friends, but they have a morning full of structure and stimulation and I have blessed hours of quiet.
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