3 Year old just started cheder

amother

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 7:38 am

My son just turned 3 and until he started cheder, he was in a gan which took him to the toilet regularly and made it a fun learning activity. Only a few accidents but he was mostly dry when he came home.

Now my son is in cheder, has only been there a few days and and comes home soaked each day. I remind him to ask the Rebbe if he needs to go, and he practices what he says, but for some reason, he felt too ashamed to ask.

He is not night time trained. But when home will often take himself to the toilet, or when prompted.

Has anyone else gone through this or have any tips or advice? Should we discuss it with his Rebbe to take him every 2 hours? Do they even do that?

He is my oldest and so I don't have much experience.

Thanks in advance!

watergirl

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 7:44 am

Did your son HAVE to start right now for some reason? I am not sure it is the rebbe's job to be getting your son to go to the bathroom. Are you sending him to school in underwear or in pullups? If he is coming home soaked every day, it sounds like he needs to be fully potty-trained during the day time before he can go. I am actually surprised the cheder allowed him to come considering he is not trained.

amother

Papaya

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 7:50 am

Cheder usually has designated times they take kids. Yes call the Rebbe and ask if he can make sure he goes with the class.

amother

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 7:50 am

We were told by our Rebbe to send him when he is 3.

He has been trained for many months, except for the odd accident, when he is too distracted to bother taking himself. He hasn't worn pull ups in the day for months, only underwear. At home he can go all by himself no problem, which is why I am surprised to see accidents 2 days in a row!!

I think he just might be nervous about his new environment.

Last edited by amother on Mon, Dec 28 2020, 8:00 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 7:55 am

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

Cheder usually has designated times they take kids. Yes call the Rebbe and ask if he can make sure he goes with the class.

I heard each cheder does something different. While they may have a break time, I am not sure the Rebbe tells each child individually to go. I can call to find out!!

Last edited by amother on Mon, Dec 28 2020, 7:59 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Papaya

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 7:58 am

BTW your last two posts were not anonymous in case you want to change.
Yes, call and find out and ask the Rebbe if he can keep ab extra eye out on your son. This is normal for nursery Rebbes.

amother

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 8:04 am

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

BTW your last two posts were not anonymous in case you want to change.
Yes, call and find out and ask the Rebbe if he can keep ab extra eye out on your son. This is normal for nursery Rebbes.

Thanks for letting me know!!!

I think I will do that, until he gains more confidence. It is a new setting after all, and until now he has only had a female ganenet looking out for him, so this is new.

amother

Burgundy

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 8:06 am

Our is not a cheder, but a regular preschool. At the beginning of a new school year, teachers give the entering 3 year olds extra prompting for the first month or so while they get adjusted, especially before recess and before nap. Also, children are allowed to go to the bathroom whenever they want, they do not need to ask or tell a teacher.

If the rebbe could do both of these, it might help your son. The second suggestion will only work if the bathroom is attached to the classroom, since the rebbe probably won't want to let a 3 year old wander off down the hall alone.

amother

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 8:08 am

It is attached thankfully, thanks for the great ideas!!

Last edited by amother on Mon, Dec 28 2020, 8:16 am; edited 1 time in total

keym

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 8:11 am

Find out what the bathroom situation is like in the Cheder and see what you can do.
Are the toilets very high?
Are there mostly urinals and he's unfamiliar with how to use it?
Are there a lot of big boys streaming in and out?
Is there a line usually?
Good locks for the stall?
Sufficient toilet paper, paper towels and soap?
Are there boys who tease or chepper?
Are the bathroom doors heavy?

I've sent several boys to school. Not 3 year olds. But 5 year olds in primary. And we've had to deal with a lot of these things.

amother

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 8:15 am

I actually have no idea, all I know is it is attached to the classroom. I think a phone call is in order! So I can understand why he is not asking!! and hopefully it will get resolved BH.

amother

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 1:07 pm

UPDATE: After discussing it with his Rebbe, he told us our son used the bathroom regularly, and is dry by the end of the day. He recommended not to send with a drink. We bought a new toy car as an incentive to stay dry, and BH he has been dry ever since. Thank you all for your input!

amother

Blonde

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 1:12 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

He's not drinking all day?

amother

Yellow

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 1:20 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Its not much of a win of your son is dehydrated but dry.

Sounds like he should be strongly reminded/told to use the toilet at the end of the day before going home.

amother

Oak

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 2:51 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It’s very important to drink. Maybe your ds would do better back in his gan?

number

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 3:21 pm

Ask the rebbi to remind him to use the bathroom before dismissal. I’ve done that and it shouldn’t be a big deal. I agree dehydration isn’t a long term solution.

amother

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 3:46 pm

The Rebbe told us not to send with a drink as they give them plenty to drink regularly and he said he does not need extra. The Cheder he goes to is in Israel, where drinking water regularly in class without permission is the norm.

I suspect he was just drinking too much, as he was taken to the bathroom many times in the few hours he was there on the days he came home wet.

Now when he comes home and uses the bathroom his urine is clear so I do not suspect dehydration.

Dehydration is no solution at all!

amother

Blonde

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 4:39 pm

That's great. Thanks for clarifying! Make sure ds is confident enough to take or ask for a drink when he's thirsty. I've had kids even older than that who were too shy to ask repeatedly for a drink if they left their water bottle at home.