Having strong charge against INTJ's

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lk1234

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 3:45 pm

Having recently learned about the 16 personalities I came to an amazing eye opening realization about myself. I am an ISFJ and my whole life I've been jealous of INTJs. In elementary school there was a girl who was brilliant, understood things quickly and always knew the answers. She had a very impersonal, cerebral way in the world. I literally would watch her in class and hold my pencil the way she did, sit with my legs the way she say just so that I could possibly mimic her and be as bright and capable as her. Of course this is ridiculous as an adult and quite humorous but it is the truth. Moving on to High school there was a 9th grade "friend" (I say friend because we weren't actually friends, I just wanted to be in proximity to her and have her brilliance rub off on me) who was also brilliant, nonchalant, quick and a real super amazing student. Now I work with an INTJ and I am so jealous of their natural success, quick on the pick up and just ease with which they flow through life. This person doesn't get bogged down by anything and everything seems so effortless. They are extremely wealthy, and things just go so smoothly for them. I am jealous. I've always wanted to be an INTJ and know I never will.
My parents valued education, intelligence and being quick and that likely contributed to my obsessions. But as an adult, I can objectively observe that INTJs are simply lucky. They don't get hung up on things, and things do come easier to them.

Help!

amother

Honeydew

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 3:48 pm

These people may not be INTJs. INTJs are usually not so terribly confident. Comfortable in what they know, but not very confident socially.

lk1234

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 3:51 pm

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

These people may not be INTJs. INTJs are usually not so terribly confident. Comfortable in what they know, but not very confident socially.

Yes- these people are socially unconfident. They are curt, not particularly socially saavy. Nonetheless, I see them as the ultimate success in life. Am I crazy?

Zehava

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 4:03 pm

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

These people may not be INTJs. INTJs are usually not so terribly confident. Comfortable in what they know, but not very confident socially.

I’ve had some very socially confident INTJ friends. If part of their chosen interest was social life they were able to study it to a T.
Anyway op yes I get it I never wanted to actually be them but I was always somewhat jealous of their effortless success. Pretty much whatever I did they did better.

lk1234

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 4:06 pm

Zehava wrote:

Yes- exactly this. I struggle with jealousy for them so much and probably due to my upbringing and the fact that they are so successful combined with having parents that idolized INTJ types, I can't shrug it off!

lk1234

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 4:08 pm

And totally forgot to mention being surrounded by INTJs in seminary, having gone to an "elite" intellectual seminary.... let's not even go there!

Zehava

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 4:10 pm

lk1234 wrote:

I totally get it. It was also super annoying how some of them would unintentionally brag without even realizing it!! Like totally innocent but it was such a turnoff. I couldn’t even be mad because I knew they were doing it out of cluelessness. But man listening to them going on and on and on was so triggering sometimes.

amother

Papaya

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 4:13 pm

Be thankful you are not an INTJ. Can you imagine how hard mothering is for us? We need to focus on a goal and the constant distractions of children drive us crazy.

Zehava

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 4:14 pm

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

Be thankful you are not an INTJ. Can you imagine how hard mothering is for us? We need to focus on a goal and the constant distractions of children drive us crazy.

Unless mothering IS the goal. Then you’re the supermom that puts supermoms to shame.

lk1234

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 4:15 pm

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

Be thankful you are not an INTJ. Can you imagine how hard mothering is for us? We need to focus on a goal and the constant distractions of children drive us crazy.

So this is what I need to know. What are the cons of being an INTJ? To me you are the greatest things to walk the planet. Anyone else is "less than" Smile

. What could be hard for you?

amother

Papaya

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 4:16 pm

No! Doesn't work that way.

Zehava

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 4:16 pm

lk1234 wrote:

So this is what I need to know. What are the cons of being an INTJ? To me you are the greatest things to walk the planet. Anyone else is "less than" Smile

. What could be hard for you?

Well at least I know their weak spots too😏

amother

Papaya

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 4:18 pm

Are you kidding? The social aspects can be hard; lack of self-confidence can be a problem; housekeeping, forget it! It's not as great as you think!

lk1234

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 4:23 pm

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

No! Doesn't work that way.

Whaaat - please tell me????

lk1234

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 4:24 pm

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

Are you kidding? The social aspects can be hard; lack of self-confidence can be a problem; housekeeping, forget it! It's not as great as you think!

And what about men that don't typically have to deal with this. I can also be jealous of male INTJs.

lk1234

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 4:24 pm

Zehava wrote:

Unless mothering IS the goal. Then you’re the supermom that puts supermoms to shame.

LOL- at least you understand me. thank you Smile

Zehava

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 4:27 pm

lk1234 wrote:

LOL- at least you understand me. thank you Smile

In a general sense though I’m still not jealous of them though. I treasure my emotional awareness and empathy very much.

amother

Papaya

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 4:28 pm

lk1234 wrote:

Whaaat - please tell me????

Zehava said that the goal can be being a supermom, but it doesn't work that way. There are too many nitty-gritty things that are very distracting.

nchr

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 4:30 pm

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

Zehava said that the goal can be being a supermom, but it doesn't work that way. There are too many nitty-gritty things that are very distracting.

We all know what I do (from previous threads) when someone starts picking on Zehava.

amother

Papaya

Mon, Dec 28 2020, 4:33 pm

lk1234 wrote:

And what about men that don't typically have to deal with this. I can also be jealous of male INTJs.

Pity their wives. They have no emotional awareness whatsoever.

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