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We're BTs... Both grandparents don't do any Jewish songs
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:03 pm
Both sets of grandparents have no interest in singing any kind of Jewish songs our 3 month old. They're not singing anything inappropriate... totally G-rated nursery rhymes like Twinkle Twinkle, Old McDonald, lots of music from Raffi, etc. It's what they sung to us and what they know. We just would prefer more Jewish content.

Thoughts? We obviously want to choose our battles and not micromanage everything with the grandparents, and only tell them what to do when it's important enough. Should we just let them do their thing? Do FFB people sing a lot of non-Jewish songs with their kids?
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amother




Jetblack
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:09 pm
Please do not limit their singing to the grandchildren. Please do not tell them what to sing.
You should be so grateful your children have loving grandparents who want to sing children's songs to them.

If you start micromanaging their relationship, you will only hurt it. Your parents will be paranoid that anything they do is wrong/inappropriate and they will be afraid to fully develop a relationship with your kids.

And I honestly don't understand questions like this. What could be wrong with Twinkle Twinkle? I am assuming your children are learning to speak English, right? Being exposed to a secular language is the same as being exposed to a secular children's song.

If you want more Jewish content, you should provide it yourself. When the grandparents are around, let them connect the way they know how.
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amother




Seashell
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:09 pm
What are you singing to your infant?
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IsraeliSoul




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:10 pm
My parents grew up with these songs, they would sing such songs all the time when I was young. I sing them to my kids too.

The Jewish songs they’ll learn from you.
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behappy2




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:11 pm
Nursery rhymes are great for kids. The rhythm and rhyming help language development.
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amother




Mauve
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:13 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Do FFB people sing a lot of non-Jewish songs with their kids?

Yes. Definitely the specific ones you mention.
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amother




Pumpkin
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:15 pm
Are you also not going to read goodnight moon? There's nothing wrong with nursery rhymes.

In general it's good to have a rav to ask these questions.
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amother




Ginger
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:17 pm
We're FFB chassidish and my kids know all basic nursery rhythms. This is what the toys sing. Nothing wrong with it. They even sing it in school. I think most kids know the basic nursery rhythms.
You can sing jewish songs to the kids, but there's nothing wrong with singing nursery rhythms. I don't call these songs non jewish songs.
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amother




Slateblue
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:17 pm
I’m FFB from a long line of FFBs and all my siblings and cousins grew up with Twinkle Twinkle, Old MacDonald and others alongside any Jewish children’s songs. In the same way, we read Cinderella, Snow White and other fairy tales alongside Jewish kids books... I think we turned out ok!
I’d say just relax and enjoy the relationship between your parents and child!
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amother




Royalblue
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:17 pm
I would not say anything if they are pareve non-Jewish songs.

If they sang Xmas songs, for example, I would say something. But not for neutral stuff.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:18 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Both sets of grandparents have no interest in singing any kind of Jewish songs our 3 month old. They're not singing anything inappropriate... totally G-rated nursery rhymes like Twinkle Twinkle, Old McDonald, lots of music from Raffi, etc. It's what they sung to us and what they know. We just would prefer more Jewish content.

Thoughts? We obviously want to choose our battles and not micromanage everything with the grandparents, and only tell them what to do when it's important enough. Should we just let them do their thing? Do FFB people sing a lot of non-Jewish songs with their kids?
I am FFB. My mother was a nursery school teacher. The songs you mentioned above were of course part of the songs she sung with her students.
OP, yes, many ffb people sing such pareve non jewish songs to and with their kids. There is nothing wrong with them.
Also, if you need to fight any battles with your parents about anything fum related, this is very much not worth any fight.
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IsraeliSoul




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:21 pm
It’s very understandable for a BT to have no clue what’s accepted and what’s not.

Please have a rav to ask every little question you have. For yourself, and most importantly, for your kids. They should be raised in a positive way and not feel like their parents push too much frumkeit which unfortunately is what pushes many children of BTs away from religion.

OP you have my admiration and respect for changing your lifestyle to what Hashem really wants. I wish you much happiness and nachas of your kids.


Last edited by IsraeliSoul on Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:33 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:27 pm
Thanks for all the feedback.

We've been doing some of the English nursery rhymes, but also Jewish stuff we're doing is mostly Modeh Ani, Adon Olam, 1st paragraph of the Shema, 1st paragraph of the benching... What are good songs to do with an infant? We don't know. This is all new to us.

With corona and not socializing with people as normal, it's hard to pick up on this stuff organically. In normal times, I'd just chit chat with people at a shabbat lunch and these kinds of things would come up... or I'd observe how other people are interacting with their kids.
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Good Friend




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:29 pm
I understand where you're coming from, we also try to only sing Jewish songs to our babies and kids. However when it comes to others like a hired non Jewish babysitter as long as she doesn't sing anything religious we don't stop them.
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avrahamama




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:31 pm
My parents sing nursery rhymes also. Nursery rhymes are standard preschool music across the board.

They also sing Yellow Submarine, Be My Baby, Good Day Sunshine, etc. And lots of folk music

My dad plays guitar for them and sings with them. The funniest is when the kids request a Schwekey song lol or any frum musician.

He's learning to play those also for them.

I try to let them have their relationship with the kids, and not stifle my parents. It's all hard enough as it is. There's bigger fish to fry.
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amother




Brunette
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:40 pm
I am so impressed that you are thinking through these ideas.
I am FFB and have taught preschool (kiruv schools) for many years.
We sing all kinds of songs and do fingerplay and games and rhymes.
The grandparents need to connect with the grandchildren and these songs
are quite universally known. You are also doing your due diligence by singing all
the classic Jewish songs with them as well. As someone said, as long as it's not xmas songs
or english songs with crazy lyrics, you're doing great.
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amother




Royalblue
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:40 pm
Uncle Moishy has cute Jewish-themed English songs. You can find many of them on Youtube

Also, there are some cute parsha songs: https://www.chabad.org/kids/ar.....h.htm
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chanar




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:44 pm
FFB here..
We sing those kind of nursery rhymes to our kids too! Songs like old Mc Donald, you are my sunshine, wind the bobbin up, those are what I grew up on and now to sing to my babies!
Just an idea though, perhaps get yourself some of the good old uncle moishy, 613 torah avenue etc and play them during the day, so both you and your baby become familiar with the Jewish children songs, and the grandparents may also pick up some of them and join along!!!
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amother




Orchid
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:50 pm
FFBs tend to not be so strict and would have no problem with this. I come from a modern yeshivish family and I knew all the nursery rhymes. I sing them to my own kids.
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amother




Red
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:54 pm
Respectfully, are you the Ima who inquired about kol isha for a infant a few weeks back?

If so, it’s great that you’re asking these questions but you really would benefit from real life people to talk things through with.
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